One of my friends, an Afrikaner guy is dating a Tswana girl. They are both Charted Accountants so contrary to popular belief in our circle of friends their relationship for as far as I can see has nothing to do with anything materialistic. Both sets of parents also seemed to accept the relationship and there is no problem there.
This article is not about them.
I merely mentioned it to show that interracial relationships do work and that there is nothing wrong with same, but then again the article is not even about interracial relationships per se. Afford me the courtesy of explaining what precipitated me into writing this.
A week or so ago, we were all at some resort. We had a braai and of course there were beer and some dudes handled it better than others. One of the guys, my Afrikaner friend’s cousin said something out of the blue to which most of us took offense.
He said (in a state of intoxication), he does not know how people do it, because he would never date a black girl and that to him white women are prettier. This was followed by a hefty debate which to some extend resulted into an argument.
Of course this guy was labelled racist, a poser and living in the past. I was sitting in the background listening to the arguments and elected not to participate. I did so with the intention on engaging in a sober debate where emotions would not play a part.
In order for me preparing an argument on the subject matter, I did some introspection that night. I asked myself the following questions:
1. Do I have a problem with interracial relationships – NO;
2. Have I ever been in one – NO;
3. When I picture myself with a woman, would that woman be anything other than a Coloured woman – Never occurred to me, but honestly no.
4. Have I ever dated any woman other than a Coloured woman – NO
5. Has it ever occurred to me to date any woman other than a Coloured woman – NO;
6. So, do I consider myself a racist because of this – NO
The next morning, the dude in question came to me to apologise as he did with all of our friends, because as he said he was drunk and it was the alcohol speaking. I told him; no it was not he said what he felt. Also, that I took objection to what he said because I felt that it was directed at his cousin who is a very good friend of me.
He again reiterated that he is not racist or at least does not think he is, but that he stood by his statement that he will not date a black woman. His reasons went further this time as outward looks. He cited inter alia culture, how the kids will look and a lot of other things.
I could see this guy was really trying to justify himself here, so I stopped him. I told him there was no need to explain anything to me or anyone else for that matter.
You see the lesson I learnt here is just because some person prefer to date a certain race, does not make him a racist. I can honestly say I find no other woman from any other race more attractive than I find a Coloured woman.
This is not to impugn other races, it is just a preference. I felt it was wrong of us to label this guy, although he could have articulated himself a little better. Nevertheless, we were extremely wrong.
If you feel more comfortable dated a person from your own race, why should you be labelled as a racist? Would you also be labelled as a homophobic if you elect not to date a homosexual person? Our past really did a number on us, as we became so politically correct that we sometimes fear to air our own feelings and preference out of anticipation that we will be labelled as a racist.
The latter to me does a greater injustice and prejudices our human dignity more than anything else. Part of a person’s human dignity does after all include a person’s right to feel and the right to feel would infer your right to air said feelings.
So in summation; for me to label anybody for their preference is to label myself and to tacitly admit to being a hypocrite. We all have a different preference, that is what makes us human.