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Who am I here to please?

25 May 2012, 11:33

When faced with a crisis we are forced to do things that we may or may not have done in the normal day to day routine of life. In such times we make decisions based on our emotional state of mind, and hopefully back those decisions up with good logic before acting on them. But what about the variables that we did not take into account? What about the effects of our crisis decisions on other people?

After all is said and done we need to keep account in our own minds about where we spend our energy. The key question is: Are we here to defend our peace or are we here to increase our joy?

I am of the mind that every person deserves a modicum of respect until they lose that right; and the level of respect they own will either increase or diminish based on interaction with that person. A possible result of me taking this position is that one tends to come across as being very caring, and this can leave a wake of superficial friendships that cannot efficiently be maintained: based on casual chats without depth. But is this a good attitude to have? Would one not then be setting oneself up for a lot of “admin” (as a good friend would put it) in dealing with other people’s issues? If this “admin” is a stress when dealing with superficial friends, then how much more so when trying to assist a “real” somebody?

If we choose to help somebody deal with their crises we are creating a rod for our own backs. We are giving them false hope that we may actually be able to “fix” their problems. All we may be doing is developing a kind of hope in mankind and that doesn’t increase our joy.

Can we increase our joy by attacking others’ peace? Although this could be debated, there is also a concept we know as karma, and even in Afrikaans: “die wiel draai” and “blinde sjambok”… These define a route to joy that allows only acceptable means (should I at this point refer to this “joy” as nirvana?) I am not sure about whether there is any applicable term for karma in languages used by the ANC politicians, because they seem to love getting joy out of others’ pain…. But wait… did the wheel already turn?

How long should our crisis decisions be allowed to affect others? (And at this point I leave the political parallels to be drawn in your own mind.) When we are prompted to action on defending our own peace and (what we call) “human rights”, we are usually reacting to an onslaught by someone else, and with the “law” on our side, how can we lose? Indeed we can, and invariably do lose. If our lives are geared to living in peace and promoting joy, any disruption of these positive sentiments can upset the balance, spilling peace and killing joy. Is it then better to forgive and forget; staying focused on the positive energy? Or do we believe that we are to return (a la reincarnation) to benefit from our struggles?

If you see an accident do you stop to assist or do you continue on so as to avoid the trauma associated with the loss, and being a witness in court? Sadly most will be happier without the extra “admin”.

We are the products of our own choices; so choose well who you become, and whom you are here to please. Make decisions based on your own joy, not that of others.

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