Who are you? Think about that for a second. It isn’t a simple answer is it? Why not? Shouldn’t it be simple? You have spent many, many years experiencing it – why can’t you put it to words? You have been you all this time, yet still sometimes question it. For those who know, or who elude to know – you are the exception and should be grateful for it. For those who don’t, who still worry, stress, ponder, question and guess: this is for you.
Life is an overly complex experience right now. It has ballooned into this absolutely out-of-control expectation, completely warped from what reality actually dictates or even requires. Throw in recessions, religion, children, jobs, wars, bills, crime and all the rest and it very quickly becomes overwhelming. So much is expected of us all of the time that it begs to ask the question, “Why even bother?”
My personal take on why this has transpired is solely due to the fact that people are not aware of themselves. You don’t know who you are because you are too busy trying to be everybody else. You do not know what to do because you do not know what it is you actually want to do. You do not understand the world because the world does not understand you.
So how do we fix this? It’s simple really: spend time with yourself. So many of our problems are focused on what others are doing, saying or experiencing that is either right or wrong. Well, I’m telling you that there is no right or wrong and that focusing on the lives of others only deviates you more and more from the life that is your own. Comparing yourself to another is as meaningless as solving math equations by picking your nose. Focus your intentions internally, for when you discover who it is you are, so then does the world.
Easier said than done right? Wrong. You are a collection of memories and experiences, in a body formed from the genes of your parents, equipped with the most amazing tool known to man: your mind. That’s a starting point no? No one says you have to be like anybody else, so why try emulating it in the first place? That’s the crux to it all: you actively create who it is you want to be – your mind is that powerful and awesome. The problem arises when you try and model it according to someone else’s path. Forget it and create your own. Sit yourself down, be quiet and truly ask yourself if what you are doing right now is what you envision for yourself, or if it is as a result of what someone else wants for you. Now apply that to every facet of your life. True, we need to be aware of others and of course should involve them – but it is a useless exercise altogether if you do not know who it is that you are to begin with. No man, to my knowledge, has discovered himself by focusing on what others have discovered about him.
“We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit.” – Aristotle
Still not convinced? Why is it that some come out on top and others not? Confidence. Confidence in oneself is probably the most attractive characteristic in any man or woman, no matter the environment. Our inability to connect with ourselves is the reason we lack the confidence to connect with the world. Understand who it is you are and from that wonderful point of realisation, you are – in every sense of the word – that person. That is who and what you live out. That is who and what you experience. That is who and what you show to the world and what a wonderful and amazing thing that is.
“If you have no confidence in self, you are twice defeated in the race of life. With confidence, you have won even before you have started.” – Marcus Tullius Cicero
So many times, I have heard that people are afraid of being who they are in fear of what it means. What does it mean? Is it different? Is it not in line with society? Who cares – this is you, no one else. Being afraid of who you are, is probably the most detrimental yet pointless attitude one can have. “What if no one likes me?” is normally what follows, however who cares who likes you if you personally don’t even know who you are? When one embodies your own being, people take note. I often relate it to a lottery – everyone wants to win it, but you can’t unless you buy the ticket. You yourself know when someone is confident in themselves, however weird or wonderful because you can see and experience it. That can be you. All you need to do is buy the ticket. Sure you might not always win but now you have a chance where before you had none.
“Bella Gerant Alli. [Let others wage war].” – Publius Ovidius Naso