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Lisa MacDonald
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Why women cheat

24 July 2014, 12:00
Males and females are wired differently. After all, didn’t we learn 20 plus years ago that men are from Mars and women are from Venus?

We are inherently poles apart; from the ways we perceive love to the reasons we stray.  When it comes to infidelity, it’s typically men who have a reputation for being unfaithful. However, women are being ousted as the cheaters more and more frequently. And the motives couldn’t be more different. The following are the top five reasons women have affairs, beginning with the most prevalent.

1. The Desire for an Emotional Connection:

An open invitation for sex is the number one reason men cheat – by a long shot. It’s not rocket science; as long as a man is sexually fulfilled, chances are he won’t develop a wandering eye. While 92% of men who cheat on their spouses admit to having primarily sexual motives, this particular type of intimacy doesn’t even make most women’s lists.
Women are emotional and expressive creatures. Various studies have revealed that, by-and-large, women are motivated to have affairs based on emotion. These emotionally starved women usually feel lonely in their relationship, disconnected from their spouse, and time and again believe they are being taken for granted.
Times are rapidly changing, and most of today’s women want more than to be their husband’s maid, chef and servant. When this type of woman doesn’t get the appreciation she feels she deserves, she’s likely to begin to drift from the relationship. In a study conducted by Helen Fishes, a biological anthropologist at Rutgers University, results revealed that only 34% of women who had affairs were content in their marriages, while 56% of men who cheated were happy. A woman who feels like she is treated as an employee rather than a partner is more likely to search for an extramarital connection.

2. Monotony and Solitude
While more and more women are achieving their professional goals with each passing year, mothers and wives who remain in the role of the housewife are likely to become bored and crave excitement. When cooking dinner, doing the laundry and changing diapers becomes droning, they may become inclined to seek some sort of thrill.
Unlike the emotional cheater, this type of wife may be a part of a happy marriage. For this woman, the sex has become humdrum, and intimacy takes a backseat to the household chores. This type of woman is typically a mother who yearns for adult activities and conversations. She misses the days of her husband being unable to keep his hands off of her, and she seeks that same excitement and self-esteem boost outside of her marriage.

3. Exit Strategy or Cry for Help
When a woman is already checked-out of a marriage and can see the light of divorce at the end of the tunnel, she may feel less apprehensive about seeking an extramarital relationship. Many women who have affairs lost their connection with their mate long before a divorce is agreed upon, and use another partner as a method of transitioning out of the marriage. Divorce is one of the most stressful stages in life, and many women seek a source of comfort when they know that the demise of their marriage is inevitable.
Conversely, other women use affairs as a cry for help. When alternative strategies to save a marriage fail, wives are unfaithful with the intention of being caught. This type of woman hopes that her husband will finally come to grips with how unhappy she is, and understand that they need to work on their marriage together. This approach rarely leads to a marriage’s thriving future.

4. Settling of Scores
Wives who pursue other men with intention usually do so in order to seek revenge against an unfaithful spouse. The plain truth is that husbands who come clean about their cheating ways and take steps to fix their marriage are typically (eventually) forgiven. Wives who seek vengeance often do so because their husband refused to spill the beans, and failed to step up to the plate.
This woman won’t rest until she retaliates by getting her hands dirty and evening the playing field.

5. “She’s got Issues”
Some call it an intimacy disorder; others less eloquently refer to it as “daddy issues.” And yes, it’s a real thing, not just an unfounded excuse for bad behavior. Early childhood trauma and sex abuse in both men and women can lead to a lifetime of sex addiction and/or serial cheating. When left unresolved, the issues can lend themselves to serious emotional instability. Many psychologically insecure women attain the feeling of being wanted through incessant sexual activity
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