Are you racist?
"What? Who me? No. No," may be your PC reply. "I am not racist. I have many Black friends." Then you continue with: "But they are Coconuts. Not like all the others."
Are your Black friends your colleagues or business associates only? Or do you party and go on holiday together? Because that's what friends do.
If you read of or witness mob violence, or if someone pushes in front of you in a queue, is your response? - Typical of You People.
We may have been taught as children to be racist, influenced as we become adults or choose our own opinions.
As I have accommodated over 5 000 people from countries I hadn't heard of before, I feel I may be in a position to offer an opinion.
Maybe you are a narrow minded xenophobic who assumes that all Americans are loud and stupid, all the French believe they are superior, all the Portuguese and Spanish are dirty and all Africans are uneducated, destructive thieves.
Some are, some aren't. It is impossible to categorise entire nations.
I have hosted Black Saffers whom I would be happy to have here for a month. Others have been drunk and belligerent. This applies to White Saffers as well. I had a couple here who screamed at each other with f words flying to and fro. This set off the neighbourhood dogs barking.
The female of the species staggered up to two Black men, who were drinking coffee on the front porch and minding their own business, and said: "You People don't belong here. If it wasn't for You People, we would have stayed longer."
I am still recovering.
Across the globe, the opinion of Miley Cyrus is: "You People who call me racist are jealous." Alrighty, then.
Deanne Bartman, protesting at a rally in the USA, screamed: "Impeach Obama, the half-white Muslim." Is this really necessary, Deanne? If you don't like his Health Reform Policies, just e-mail the White House. And stick to the topic.
A News24 reader's comment referred to Helen Zille as the 'botox queen with a mouth like a slot in a postbox.'
And, Eish, don't mention that Nigerian bastard from Hillbrow. My wife took my iphone 5 to him and he unlocked hit and she discovered all my stash of porn. Nxa!! I'll admit, this is funny, though.
Also, Black people simply want to have a chance to get things for free. Maybe if Malema can't make it into Parly he could go be Mugabe's garden boy. Bob refuses to die because he has heard that when you burn you turn white. How much is Zuma, the old fart paying you? One mielie corn?
I have also referred to a woman defending the finances of the SABC, as an idiot. This is what she is. Not because she is Black.
Blikskottel. We are an angry lot.
On a personal note, I have had guests who deride themselves and their race.
A lady from the USA, 'phoned her boyfriend: "Yo, Whitey. It's me. Your nigger bitch. Whaddya mean, which one?"
A group on the intercom at the front gate: "Hoezit, do you have a room? We are Coons from Cape Town."
A Black man, reading the newspaper said: "Your Darkies here destroy everything. You can take them out of the bush, but you can't take the bush out of them. I am from Botswana. If you steal a goat there you are flogged to death. As your Darkies deserve to be."
To make my life less stressful, I have taken Martin Luther King's advice to judge the content of your character and not the colour of your skin.
I hope you will do the same with me.