PLEASE NOTE:

MyNews24 is a user-generated section of News24.com. The stories here come from users.

 
BrandonF
 
Comments: 5
Article views: 411
 
 
Latest Badges:



 
View all BrandonF's badges.
 

"You had me at Ahoy!"

15 March 2013, 10:00

I think Somali pirates are missing a trick.

Without so much as an “Arrr” or a parroted shoulder in sight this new breed of sea robber is cavorting up and down the East coast of Africa, doing a horrible injustice to the romance and mystique of Cap’ns Blackbeard, Hook and Sparrow.

With Hollywood willing to pump millions more into the world’s most successful pirate franchise, and with Johnny Depp slurring his way into the heart of entertainment history, those torn-jean and t-shirt clad impostors around the Horn of Africa would do well to remember the power of branding and make every effort to piggy back on the fame of legends (in life and fiction) who used to sail the seven seas.

Be honest now.

Wouldn't you feel much better being captured by an eye-patch-wearing, wooden-leg-trotting, swashbuckling-sword-wielding, rum-drinking, wench-wooing, gold-tooth-sporting, land-lubber-hating, shiver-me-timbers-shouting, avast!-yelling, Davy-Jones’-Locker-fearing work of authenticity – as opposed to some failed fisherman carrying an RPG, AK47 and the grin of a madman?

At most you are fortunate to get a few with gold teeth and a love for rum and women but, overall, you’d have to admit that when it comes to pirating with panache and plundering with pizzazz, our friends from the sunrise coast have a lot to learn.

If we believe the definition of a brand to be “an identifiable entity that makes specific promises of value” then it is safe to say that “Sea Robbers Somalia (SRS)” is a brand in crisis. Think of it in the same breath as SAB’s “Lion Lager”.

Once they veered from the proven recipe and presented the market with a wholly unsatisfying blue and silver “modern spin” on the original, market goodwill and (critically) sales sank to the bottom of the brand loyalty ocean faster than you can say, “Yo-ho-Yo-ho a pirate’s life for me!”

Alas me hearties, I digress.

Apparently the modern pirate M.O. is to attack with speedboats in groups of eight to ten (or so), with cargo ships and the occasional oil tanker their target, a far cry from Spanish and British vessels carrying royal reward.

According to the BBC, these “pirates” took a total of 1,181 hostages in 2010 and were paid several million dollars in ransom.

Business continues to be good to this day – but it can be so much better if just a little thought and effort went into the overall production of your every-day raid.

Give us some spine-tingling “Yarrs!”

Swing onto boat decks with ropes, brandishing swords that have been to distant lands, sporting scars from adventures untold. Let Hans Zimmer or Klaus Badelt compose a thrilling music score, let Michael Kors design your hats and pants, your boots and flags.

Demand ransoms paid in gold and silver, and return your hostages with stories to tell, suffering from nothing but rum withdrawal whilst constantly yelling obscenities at cursed landlubbers who have lost the will to be free.

Give us that, all ye pirates of Africa . . . and we’ll sail to your waters in droves.

Disclaimer: All articles and letters published on MyNews24 have been independently written by members of News24's community. The views of users published on News24 are therefore their own and do not necessarily represent the views of News24. News24 editors also reserve the right to edit or delete any and all comments received.
 

Read News24’s Comments Policy

24.com publishes all comments posted on articles provided that they adhere to our Comments Policy. Should you wish to report a comment for editorial review, please do so by clicking the 'Report Comment' button to the right of each comment.

Comment on this story
5 comments
Add your comment
Comment 0 characters remaining

Read more from our Users

Submitted by
adv.sibiya
Open letter to Blade Nzimande

Dear blade I am writing this letter to the wake up of your cowardly public attack and reference to a person who owes SARS R 16 million. Read more...

22 comments 2077 views
Submitted by
Malan Strydom
Firearms Ownership And Disability

Throughout the entire Pistorius – Steenkamp tragedy, I have been very reserved. Decidedly so as I did not want my opinion regarded as judgement due to the fact that I have some things in common with the accused. Read more...

7 comments 300 views
Submitted by
ShaunElliot
Cape Town v Durban

Having recently returned from a short work trip to Cape Town two major differences between KZN and Western Province have become very apparent to me. Read more...

0 comments 93 views
Submitted by
Crabclaw
The rainbow diversity

It’s 1994, and South Africa has just experienced its first truly democratic elections – and the Rainbow Nation is born.  Read more...

6 comments 178 views
Submitted by
Vernon Moulton
I drove directly into it this mor...

I live in Monavoni about 10kms from Olievenhoutbos and travel on the R55 to JHB daily. Read more...

4 comments 653 views
Submitted by
comoddo
Aid was promised, but where is th...

At the end of February of this year the EU leaders in reply to changing of State power in Ukraine promised to give financial help... Read more...

1 comments 92 views

Jobs in Cape Town [change area]

Property [change area]

Travel - Look, Book, Go!

Escape winter, head to Mauritius

Escape winter by spending 7 nights in Mauritius' tropical bliss from R13 215 per person sharing. Includes return flights, airport transfers and accommodation. Book now!

Kalahari.com - shop online today

Get many eggs in one basket!

Gaming bundles: 2 Super Hits games for R99, 3 Disney games for R99 and more + exclusive accessory bundles only available on kalahari.com. While stocks last. Shop now!

25% off bestselling books!

The Real Meal Revolution by Tim Noakes, Jeffrey Archer’s Be Careful What You Wish for, Man’s Search for Meaning by Victor E. Frank and many more titles. Shop now!

Up to 25% off electronics

Buy top electronics and save up to 25%. Such as kalahari.com’s 1# selling product the gobii eReader, Patriot X Porter flash drive, Asus Nexus 7” 3G tablet, Samsung Galaxy SIII, Lenovo G580 Notebook and many more. Shop now!

DStv HD PVR Decoder now R949

The DStv HD PVR Decoder has further revolutionised the television experience with lifelike viewing, sharper images, more vibrant colours and precision picture quality. Now R949, save R550. Offer valid while stocks last. Shop now!

Up to 30% off appliances & homeware

Save up to 30% on appliances and homeware this Easter! Offer valid while stocks last. Shop now.

OLX Free Classifieds [change area]

Samsung Galaxy s4

Mobile, Cell Phones in South Africa, Western Cape, Cape Town. Date October 24

Best bargain in big bay

Real Estate, Houses - Apartments for Sale in South Africa, Western Cape, Cape Town. Date October 25

VW Golf 6, 1.6 Trendline (Excellent condition)

Vehicles, Cars in South Africa, Western Cape, Cape Town. Date October 25

 

services

E-mail Alerts The latest headlines in your inbox

RSS feeds News delivered really simply.

Mobile News24 on your mobile or PDA

E-mail Newsletters You choose what you want

News24 on your iPhone Get News24 headlines on your iPhone.

SMS Alerts Get breaking news stories via SMS.

Blogs Your opinion on you, me and everyone.

Calais Website keywords automated by OpenCalais.

 
Digital Media & Marketing Association
 
© 2014 24.com. All rights reserved.
There are new stories on the homepage. Click here to see them.
 
English
Afrikaans
isiZulu

Hello 

Create Profile

Creating your profile will enable you to submit photos and stories to get published on News24.


Please provide a username for your profile page:

This username must be unique, cannot be edited and will be used in the URL to your profile page across the entire 24.com network.

Settings

Location Settings

News24 allows you to edit the display of certain components based on a location. If you wish to personalise the page based on your preferences, please select a location for each component and click "Submit" in order for the changes to take affect.








Facebook Sign-In

Hi News addict,

Join the News24 Community to be involved in breaking the news.

Log in with Facebook to comment and personalise news, weather and listings.