Your Monday morning meeting ends with your Sales Manager's fist punching the air: "Now Get Out There and Sell, Sell, Sell!"
You 'phone me from a private number, and in the allocated 30 seconds, you don't take a breath and forget to tell me your name.
Please rein in. I was not expecting your call. I still don't know what you are selling. I also have some questions.
If you were able to listen to me, you could have used this time to call the next person or stay on the line.
I may say: "Two people have already called me. I am not interested. Please delete my number, as I asked the others."
Please listen to the tune of my tone. If I am saying: "Yes, yes, yes! This is on my bucket list," we may continue.
But, if I say: "No, I don't need this, I'm happy with what I have," accept this and don't get stroppy.
If you are polite, I may call you in the future, if you give me your name.
If you are selling a householders insurance policy, why do I need to supply my identity number, physical address, banking details et al, as I don't know, if you are who you say you are, from your withheld number.
I may be willing to compare your offer with what I already have. Why does our conversation have to be recorded? You don't know if I am a criminal yet.
Is it necessary to also declare my credit history, past claims and whether I am rica'd or fica'd?
Could this not be cleared up if I decide to move over to your company?
Your advertisements inform me that you are the best out there, with millions of satisfied clients. I will HelloPeter to confirm this.
I know all about your no-claim bonus. Are your clients aware that this 'bonus' is paid by them, as it is added to their premiums? Also, though this is calculated on a certain day, it takes three months to confirm their entitlement, if they continue to behave.
You pay out billions every month. How do you get your clients not to claim? I thought this was the purpose of insurance.
Your clients also pay for their free roadside, burst geyser and electrical assistance.
I know that you would like me to wrap my car in cotton wool and park it in my attached to the house garage for 24 hours, everyday.
If I feel the need to go out and some half-wit rams it in the rear, why will I have to be interrogated by three of your staff?
It was not my fault, and I cannot control the weather conditions or the potholes. My excess does this for me.
I am also not a soothsayer. I don't know where I will travel tomorrow and for how many kilometres.
I also realise that you would like me to use a crowbar to open my secured garage, front and back doors, have two sets of Spanish bars on all the windows, 24 hour security, an alarm, a fire extinguisher, a car immobiliser, another alarm, and to purchase a car not to my liking as it may be a target for thieves or on your danger list.
If my computer packs in or my geyser bursts, will you hum and haw about the maintenance clause in the fine print? I am not a maintenance person and cannot foresee when I will make a claim. If I may, and you don't mind.
I also don't have the time to do an inventory. I have lots of stuff, like cutlery and Tupperware. Months later, after shopping for prices to replace any items, they are either on sale or have increased in price.
How would I know if I am under or over insured?
I can't see how your life insurance policy will benefit me. I'll be dead. And, how much extra damage will need to be inflicted, before I benefit from your disability policy?
Makes me wonder if I need insurance?
How do I know all of this. I was once, one of your employees.
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