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Youth Rebellion

20 June 2012, 08:27

Those of you who might know me personally, know that I work in a secret underground government facility, conducting mind-manipulation experiments on children and teenagers. Our aim is to produce the next generation of mindless, soulless drones in order to fill the ranks of the capitalist machinery with obedient slaves.

In order for this to happen, individuality, creativity and child-like curiosity must be stamped out at all costs. We cannot have free-thinkers muddying up the workplace with their own ideas! This would be dangerous to say the least.

Usually our job is relatively easy. Television and ignorant parenting has left only trace elements of the individual’s initial spark, however, a frightening trend is emerging that has resulted in a necessity to double our efforts: the youth of today are developing their own ideas! Furthermore, Outraged Reader, their ridiculous opinions run counter to our well-established ideals!

In the past, governments have met such rebellion by attacking the characteristics of the rebel group. For example in order to still the political force of the hippies, the American government launched a war on Class C drugs. Ingenious. You can’t lock someone up for their beliefs, not in a “democracy” anyway, but you can lock them up for possession of marijuana.

In our case, our strategy is a very clever one indeed: Destruction by Misrepresentation. What better way to snuff the revolting youngsters than by lumping them together and placing a buffoon as a “youth leader”, thus deliberately discrediting anyone below the age of, say, thirty. No one will listen to you now! You’re a youth just like that Malema idiot! You can’t be taken seriously! What good could come from young talent anyway? None at all, Established Members of Society, none at all!

If our male dominant, conservative society has taught me one thing, it is this: “If force is not working, you aren’t using enough.” Join hands with me now to destroy the ambitions and dreams of every young man and woman out there to avoid the terrible delusion they may have that they could possibly challenge the Status Quo.

Bow down to our imposing pyramidal hierarchy, you fools! Resistance is futile!

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