MyNews24 is a user-generated section of The stories here come from users.

Comments: 6
Article views: 5
Latest Badges:

View all Tyronehster's badges.

Zuma Juju

02 July 2012, 09:01

Sung to the tune of ‘How do you solve Problem like Maria?’ from The Sound of Music

How do you solve a problem like Malema

How do you catch the clown and pin him down

How do you stop him making fun of Zuma

A many-wived pres, not even a clue clue, a clown

How do you solve a problem like Malema

How do you stop him ruining all your plaa-a-ans?

Curiouser and curiouser! The man who would kill for Zuma now seems to be sorry he didn’t just kill Zuma. It would be amusing if it weren’t so tragic. While they bicker, the country teeters, leaderless.

So we’ve now seen part of Zuma’s re-election strategy, and it seems to be aimed at parting the working people of this fair country of ours from even more of their hard-earned money. Although in the case of the whites; stolen money.

As one of the leading comedians in this country, Pieter-Dirk Uys once said. ‘It’s so easy to write political comedy in this country: you just have to repeat the political statements verbatim. If they don’t make you cry, they’ll definitely make you laugh.’

Fortunately, we have Pravin Gordhan to tell us how good e-tolling will be for us. We need people of his calibre. How would his budget speech go?

Good morning. I’m the Minister of Finance. So there!

People complain all the time that our back are against the wall, but I tell you, it’s a good place to be, because from there we can only go forward. People also complain that exports are down, and that is nonsense, because I can categorically state that in 2011 we exported more doctors, engineers, scientists and other professionals that any country in the world! And South African flags! Although they are made in China. Still, we do export them!

Now, to get down to brass tacks. The Brass Tax we are going to be imposing, is to counter-balance the negative sensibilities of those silly overseas investors who want to withdraw their funds. Do they not see the opportunities here? With our BBBBBBBEEEEE programmes and our large force of unemployed youth, we have a vast, untapped pool of labour to tackle all the tasks at hand and build a thriving economy for the ANC and their partners. And what is good for the ANC is good for South Africa!

Is that fairly accurate, or is too harsh? Or not harsh enough?

You tell me.

After all, I’m not a politician, just an observer and, as such, not qualified to speak on the issue of R2bn private jets for the pres. Fortunately, the ANC occupies the moral high ground: after all, they denied the Dalai Lama access to our fair country. What with all his human rights abuses, it only makes sense to do so. Criticising the Chinese, or the ANC, is human rights abuse. It’s racism, pure and simple.

And Juju is somehow still popping up in the news, whether President of the esteemed ANCYL or not. Like a bad penny, he just keeps popping up and, who knows, he might just derail Zuma’s chance at a second term.

Disclaimer: All articles and letters published on MyNews24 have been independently written by members of News24's community. The views of users published on News24 are therefore their own and do not necessarily represent the views of News24. News24 editors also reserve the right to edit or delete any and all comments received. publishes all comments posted on articles provided that they adhere to our Comments Policy. Should you wish to report a comment for editorial review, please do so by clicking the 'Report Comment' button to the right of each comment.

Comment on this story
Comments have been closed for this article.

Read more from our Users

Submitted by
Keegan Fisher
A Former Lecturer's Voice on #Fee...

After being a lecturer at a large university in South Africa for the last 5 years, I have seen a huge decline in standards - both from the student body and in the academic quality of the degrees.  Read more...

0 comments 1202 views
Submitted by
George Tiernan Jenkins
Students to invest in their own f...

The current turmoil in our universities is creating a far bigger problem than I think the protesting students realise. Read more...

0 comments 113 views
Submitted by
De Wet Ferreira
5 reasons to grab a cuppa’ Joe ri...

To some, coffee is like the R5 coin you need to start the ride at an amusement park – without it there is no chance of regular human functioning or interaction.  Read more...

0 comments 81 views
Submitted by
The capture of South Africa

So here’s the thing. In 2005 Mbeki removed Zuma from office of the Deputy President of South Africa. That’s only 11 years ago folks. Read more...

0 comments 366 views
Submitted by
Sane Sunyshine Sihiya
Discrepancy! Discrepancy! Discrep...

Where have we gone wrong since the great 1994 aftermath of the attainment of the right of freedom of expression through voting for all was afforded? Read more...

0 comments 139 views
Submitted by
Thabang Maotwe
Online Application

I don’t understand how it is possible for the district or whoever controls the schools, to notify the schools to reject children and tell us to register our children in schools that are closer to where we stay. Read more...

0 comments 67 views


E-mail Alerts The latest headlines in your inbox

RSS feeds News delivered really simply.

Mobile News24 on your mobile or PDA

E-mail Newsletters You choose what you want

News24 on Android Get the latest from News24 on your Android device.

SMS Alerts Get breaking news stories via SMS.

TV Get us in your home, on your television.

Interactive Advertising Bureau
© 2016 All rights reserved.
There are new stories on the homepage. Click here to see them.


Create Profile

Creating your profile will enable you to submit photos and stories to get published on News24.

Please provide a username for your profile page:

This username must be unique, cannot be edited and will be used in the URL to your profile page across the entire network.


Location Settings

News24 allows you to edit the display of certain components based on a location. If you wish to personalise the page based on your preferences, please select a location for each component and click "Submit" in order for the changes to take affect.

Facebook Sign-In

Hi News addict,

Join the News24 Community to be involved in breaking the news.

Log in with Facebook to comment and personalise news, weather and listings.