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Sheldean's dad mourns alone
08/03/2007 22:56 - (SA)
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| Wikus Human, father of murdered seven-year-old Sheldean who was missing for two weeks before her body was found. (Leon Botha, Beeld) |
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Christel Raubenheimer, Beeld
Pretoria - His eyes are the same blue as his daughter's, but the pain that Wikus Human has suffered since the murder of his seven-year-old daughter Sheldean has gone unnoticed, by and large.
"At this stage of the fight, I am numb inside. I'm afraid I'll crack at the funeral because I'm far from done crying.
"I know it's true, but I still refuse to believe it's her body that the police found. I still have a lot of crying to do."
"I want to lay my little girl to rest and try to get on with my life," said Human on Thursday at his house in Akasia, Pretoria.
There's nothing at his house, in sharp contrast with the multitude of bouquets, flowers and sympathy cards at the house where Sheldean lived with her mother, Elize.
Kept up his maintenance
Human and his wife were divorced five years ago.
He grieves alone, with a handful of friends and family members to support him.
He said: "I just want people to let me know what's going on.
"I heard through a friend that Sheldean was missing.
"If I wanted to know something during the search, I had to read the newspapers," he said.
He held down two jobs so that he could pay the maintenance for Sheldean.
Sometimes he had to walk to work when he didn't have petrol money, but he paid his maintenance, said Human.
He worked from 05:00 until 22:00 so there was very little time to share with his blonde princess, but they had a very good relationship, he said.
He last saw Sheldean in December.
Offered them accommodation
Elize Human lives in a commune shared with at least 40 other people.
Human said he had offered that Elize and Sheldean could stay in his house, where there were rooms free.
His offer was not accepted.
"I remember the smiles, and hugs and her shiny eyes. "I want to remember her the way she was and forget the pain."
He was planning to be at the court on Friday for the appearance of 25-year-old Andrew Jordaan, in connection with Sheldean's murder.
Has he seen Jordaan?
"Never before in my life. The closest I've come to him is the picture in the newspapers.
"Who can you trust today? If you can't trust even the godparents of your friend, who?
"I just want to know why. I've had my own problems, my ups and downs. He (Jordaan) had an easier life than me, so why?
"There's suddenly this emptiness within you and I don't think you can fill it again.
'Hatred and questions remain'
"You must try and fill it with memories, instead of the live person, and how can one do that? You can't."
He thinks a person learns to live with the death of a child.
"The court case will probably bring a measure of closure," he said.
But, the hatred and the questions remain, he says.
"One part of me is very angry. Empty. It's dead inside. I'm still Sheldean's dad."
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