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Painfully PC
20/11/2007 09:40  - (SA)  

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Christ Moerdyk

There's a new law in Australia that forbids Father Christmasses to say "ho-ho-ho" not only because it scares children but also because the word "ho" in America means prostitute.

So, now all those street corner Santa's and their counterparts in-store have to say "Ha-ha-ha" instead or find themselves behind bars.

Now, isn't this political correctness getting totally out of control?

I'm convinced that maybe one in every 20 million kids might well be scared by a Father Christmas going "ho-ho-ho" but the odds are that this kid is scared of everything from his teddy bear to his budgie. And probably has nightmares for weeks if he hears his Dachshund break wind.

Frankly, this is political correctness gone crazy. Once again, it's that tiny minority of paranoid parents imposing their will on the rest of us.

Ludicrous words

Those same people, probably, who decided that calling the female help in a restaurant a "waitress" was demeaning to women and immediately invented that ludicrous word "waitron" which has no right whatsoever to be in the English a language.

And what about our education authorities who decided that there were no such things as pupils anymore just "learners"? Now, I have never understood that change. What on earth is wrong with the word "pupils"? At least "pupil" has an intellectual ring about it while "learner" just smacks of an IQ no higher than a neutered newt.

"Chairman" has become "chairperson," "manhole" covers became "people hole" covers" and so the list goes on and on. I am suprised that ex-President Mandela has managed to hang onto his name and avoided being called "Mr Persondela"

Like Great Whites becoming "person-eating" sharks and managers in the business world having to be called "personages."

I have even heard someone refer to horse manure as "person-manure." I argued that as that stuff was produced by a horse and not a person, it couldn't be called "person-manure" quite apart from which did she not think that the "man" in manure was also politically incorrect?

So, she decided on calling it "person-personure" and would not for a minute consider how stupid that sounded. I decided to give up the unequal battle and go and talk to someone a bit more intelligent and starting having an animated conversation with a nearby spaniel.

Advertisers shy away

In the big cities in the USA and UK this festive season, a lot of advertisers are shying away from splashing "Merry Christmas" across their newspaper and TV ads for fear of upsetting anyone who might not believe in Christmas.

Instead they're taking a politically correct approach and wishing their customers "Happy Holidays."

And I'm not the only one who thinks this is all a lot of rubbish. Diana Trent in the TV sitcom Waiting for God once remarked : "Political correctness is about as morally uplifting as the hula hoop.."

Frankly, I'm getting fed up with everybody walking on eggshells and watching their Ps and Qs with such fanaticism. Why can't we just get back to the good old days of speaking our minds? And talking about speaking our minds, being forced by a minority of people in this country to think carefully before we speak has surely got to be completely unconstitutional.

After all, freedom of speech is all about being free to speak our minds. Except for hate-speak of course.

But, calling a learner a pupil and a female waitron a waitress and an opening in the street a manhole can hardly be called hate-speak, for heaven's sake?

My New Year's resolution is to wage a battle against political correctness even if I have to do it entirely on my own.

Send your comments to Chris.

Disclaimer: News24 encourages freedom of speech and the expression of diverse views. The views of columnists published on News24 are therefore their own and do not necessarily represent the views of News24.

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  Painfully PC
20/11/2007 10:38
What about the ridiculous change from "black coffee" to "coffee without milk" - Lew Harry
 
  PC - crap
20/11/2007 10:39
Like trying to tell someone that it is, in fact, possible to pick up a turd by the clean end? - Charlk
 
  PC's
20/11/2007 10:40
I'am with you!!! - Yvette
 
  Political Correctness
20/11/2007 10:43
"for heaven's sake? " - isn't this offensive to those who do not believe in religion? - Liz
 
  PC
20/11/2007 10:55
Can somebody please inlighten me:a prostitute is 'ho'in the US..and in Australia? If the US is not at all concerned about this PC bullshit , why should the Aussies be? And i don't buy this nonsense about it scaring the kids either. - boyzie
 
  PC
20/11/2007 11:04
I fully agree.. things are getting ridicilous! The TRUTH is not always politically correct, and it's time we call a SPADE a 'S P A D E' !! - Juan
 
  Indeed
20/11/2007 11:04
What a load of personure - Jaco
 
  PC
20/11/2007 11:09
All hogwash, or is it ungulatewash, or porcinebath.I'm waiting for some clown to come up with the name "Ombudswoman" as they tried once in Namibia. There is no such person as an ombudsperson. Its like trying to personipulate a word for ones own pathetic agenda - John
 
  Agree
20/11/2007 11:11
Hear hear!! I am sick and tired of the "language police"! Get a real job, what good does it do, "pupil" or "learner", how does it take the country forward? - Christo
 
  PC
20/11/2007 11:12
Horrors! Imagine trying to explain that what what is the case is "here, in black and white"! - John
 
  Behind you 100%
20/11/2007 11:22
I have been living in the UK for 9 years and am FINALLY returning to South Africa for good. Not only has the weather driven me away, but I long to be part of a NON PC environment. Please don't change it now :-( - Will
 
  A sad thing indeed...
20/11/2007 11:28
Grown men behaving like sensitive pansies... What is the world coming to? To hell with Political Correctness! Let's just live life to the fullest and get over all this nonsense! - ShRoOm
 
  No, Jaco
20/11/2007 11:29
Joco, you cannot say personure instead of manure because person has the word "son" in it which is also sexist. So you must say "What a load of Perthingure" Chris, where can I join up to help you with your cause? maybe we our rugby leadership should send a letter to the ARB saying "Either Santa gets his Ho's back or we boycott all super14 or tri nation games featuring your teams." It could work. - niels
 
  PC is a Mr. Plod
20/11/2007 11:32
I agree, lets use all our person power to wage war against this crap. Go back to calling a person powered loading device a bloody shovel. - Hector King
 
  PC - Pathetic Comedy
20/11/2007 11:33
If you really want to be pc no mention of ANY kind of religion should be made. People should stop being so sensitive. Deal with it. A manhole cover is a manhole cover. Will be to the end of time. And black coffee is exactly what it says it is....B L A C K C O F F E E. Nothing to do with race. It is a liquid. Grow up. - High
 
  political correctness
20/11/2007 11:34
The learner/pupil thing is beyond my understanding too. How do we know they're actually learning anything?? I feel the same way about political correctness as Emerson felt about consistency: the hobgoblin of small minds. - Jan
 
  Correcting the past
20/11/2007 11:41
The Aussies should be more concerned about the marginalization of the native ABORIGINAL people of Australia and not be concerned about the use of the word or sound HO. The ABORIGONIES have for ages been hunted to near extinction like animals and excluded to partake in all the benefits from mainstream Australia. Please Australian Law makers spend your time on correcting the past and to educate yourself about a people whom are more than just DRUNKANDS - colin
 
  I agree
20/11/2007 11:42
Its all bullshit at the end of the day. Soon, the black chess piece will move first as well, you know, just to be correct.... - JannieDuToit
 
  Santa
20/11/2007 11:44
Will surely now become that red dressed "person" from the North Pole... Oh go to hell mama! (You should have never burned your bra's) - Martin
 
  Morons...
20/11/2007 11:47
It's double-speak... teachers teach..pupils should learn. To say that they are learners is incorrect - how many kids actually take away much from school nowadays? It's government trying to turn verbs into nouns to indicate that something positive is happening...I'm sure for the most part it is, but their attempts to new-speak it down our throats is pathetic at best. - mike
 
  be careful
20/11/2007 11:53
A tiny girl who was colouring in asked my (ultimatly PC) daughter for the flesh colour crayon. My daughter kindly explained that not all people have the same colour flesh. This child wanted the creamy pink colour - so she re-phrased her request - "Please may I have the "human" colour? This is where being PC can come back to bite you!!! - sheila
 
  Ho Ho Ho
20/11/2007 11:55
Hmm. Methinks we should have taught those yanks english.... Then whore would have been whore.... - The Goofster
 
  Mad World
20/11/2007 11:58
I think the worst I ever heard was in England where they no longer put crosses on the hot cross buns for fear of offending anybody! If it offends you - don't eat it!!! - Laurie
 
  Couldn't agree more
20/11/2007 12:03
I still prefer to speak of good, old bullshit rather than cattle-dung or bovine excrement... If this PC madness goes on, the author of this article might even have to change his surname from "Moerdyk" to "Slaanwal". (To all the humourless, PC readers out there: this is called a joke.) So here's a Ha-ha-ha to the Aussies, singing "Ruda the pink-nosed rein-doe". ;-) - Mark
 
  PC gone wrong
20/11/2007 12:20
In the UK fat Santa's promote a bad image so now there are only skinny Santas???? Seriously, if Woolworths can put up a sign that says 'Eid Murabak', why can't they put up a sign that says 'Merry Christmas'? It makes no sense. And someone tell Truworths to hang up their decorations - those stupid butterflies on flowers are not Christmasy enough. I don't think people will refuse to shop there if they hang some tinsel, and if they do cause a stink, they are being riduculous! - Silverza
 
  With you in this 'war'
20/11/2007 12:21
I support you - in 2008 I will wage battle against political correctness. Jaco... nice one, it is a "load of personure". - TC
 
  PC
20/11/2007 12:22
I have a serious problem with any philosophy that takes opposition to it, as proof that the philosophy is actually needed. This is the case with PC, because those on the PC high horses (can I actually say "horses" here?) respond to any opposition to PC with something like "PC is exactly needed because of people like"! Ridiculous! I also just want to add that I have also never comprehended this "learner" thing. Politics can be the only explanation. - Retief
 
  PC...eat my shorts!
20/11/2007 12:28
So the Great White Shark is a people eater... For a moment there I thought somebody might have changed it to the Great Rainbow Shark - Leon
 
  I'll help
20/11/2007 12:28
I'll definately join in on the fight! - Hencri
 
  Really?
20/11/2007 12:45
I didn't know they call sheep Ho's in Australia... - SB
 
  PC
20/11/2007 12:49
The PC pundits should learn what the FIFO rule is all about and that a spade is a spade not an agricultural instrument used for tilling the soil, what's next the Black Ball in snooker becoming the no.8 of indeterminate colour , Blackburn Rovers becoming Rainbow Rovers, White Heart Lane changing to Red Heart or will 250 members of the a rare Peruvian Tribe take offence. - Ir
 
  PC Bullpersonure
20/11/2007 12:50
To my mind, a "Waitron" is simply a combination of a "Waiter" and a "Moron". The insurance industry has an "Ombud" *(but he happens to be a man) The church now has songs of praise instead of "hymns" And anyway, where is mother Christmas when the St Nick is out HO HO HO'ing? I'll tell ya where, she is at home cleaning the house and making dinner like the good subservient wife she should be.. and when Santa gets home I hope she has opened a beer for him!! HO HO HO....o - Martin Gee
 
  Well Said!!!
20/11/2007 12:50
With all this PC nonsense it's no wonder nobody understands anybody any more. (and there are companies out there making millions in 'communication' training!!!:) - Irish
 
  Ho ho ho
20/11/2007 13:06
You see, the problem with changing Ho ho ho to Ha Ha Ha, is the latter is laughter. i know some large people whose laughter actually sounds like Har har har, which can easily be mistaken for whore whore whore. Back to the drawing board, I suppose. - niels
 
  Or maybe...
20/11/2007 13:08
How about if Santa said Hoe hoe hoe? Would that not be less offensive? I am sure it would make the menial labour force feel that for them, christmas is more inclusive? - niels
 
  Re: Flesh-coloured crayon
20/11/2007 13:12
Sheila, you can tell your daughter that actually, all people do have the same pinkish-coloured flesh or "meat". It is the skin colour that differs! So the term "flesh-coloured crayon" is not politically incorrect!! (Writing this, I don't know whether to laugh or cry, this PC thing is so ridiculous!!) - Erica
 
  American disregard for British slang
20/11/2007 13:27
So, if Brits can't say "Ho ho ho" for fear of using offensive Americanisms, surely our allies can reciprocate by doing away with "fanny bag"? Oh, wait, this kind of nonsense only goes one way... - Brit
 
  christ?
20/11/2007 13:35
may i refer to you as christ? or would that be terribly un-PC? ;) - anib
 
  Thank you - I support
20/11/2007 13:42
If for nothing else, then I will support this for the fact that PC language made my day - again! LOL :-) - Andre
 
  Movement
20/11/2007 13:44
Oh let's be totally un-PC and not start a movement!!! Thank you Chris for the article and everyone else for the comments. - Martin
 
  PC
20/11/2007 13:52
Hi, hris. I really agree with you and really battle to keep up with these silly things, of which I think changing "Students and Pupils" to "learners" is actually demeaning and embarassing to those "educators" that are forced to use the word. - Peter Rossouw
 
  Upholding freedom of speech
20/11/2007 13:55
This is totally hillarious. I am with you, otherwise the English language will end up changing entirely. - Dineo
 
  Re: Well Said!!!
20/11/2007 13:56
"With all this PC nonsense it's no wonder nobody understands anybody any more....." Makes one wonder about the Bible story of The Tower of Babel.....Oh cr@p, did I say Bible??? - Chris
 
  @Lew Harry
20/11/2007 13:57
'Black Coffee' = 'Previously Disadvantaged Coffee.' ;-) - Bogg!!
 
  Personipulation
20/11/2007 13:58
You left out Personto Tshabalala-Msimang - Steve N
 
  New Zealand
20/11/2007 14:14
Whilst we're at it, best change the NZ rugby team's name to the All Colours - Steve N
 
  Lol
20/11/2007 14:17
Personto Tshabala? Persondela? Ruda the reindoe? Hilarious!! And agreed, its Christmas, so I wish my colleagues a Merry Christmas just like they wish me Eid Mubarak. Eugh, respect for each other is one thing, walking on eggshells is something else! - Zulaiga
 
     
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