Queue here, queue there

2008-08-12 08:38

Chris Moerdyk

All of the world's municipalities seem to be filled with evil people who take great delight in allowing vendors to sell cold-drinks on every corner and at every second traffic light but then refuse point blank to build any public toilets.

South Africa is among the worst because if there are public toilets they are generally filthy. But, we're not alone. I have just got back from a few weeks in Italy and in all of the tourist areas you can hardly walk ten metres without bumping into a cart selling cold drinks, beer and mineral water.

And given the heat of summer in places like Rome and Florence you drink a lot during the day - even if a bottle of Coke costs you R40 because of the crippling Rand-Euro exchange rate.

But then try and find some place to have a pee. Almost impossible. And when you do find a public toilet as I did in Florence, it costs you R12.50 entrance fee. I must confess that at that price, even though I just wanted to pee, I felt I should at least get my money's worth.

At least I didn't have to queue. It's at times like those that I feel sorry for women because not only did they have to pay R12.50 for the privilege of passing water but almost always have to stand in queues for ages waiting their turn.

Urgency

Now, I know that whenever I write about this sort of subject there is always someone who berates me for taking up important space with trivial subjects when there are so many other really important issues going on which require debate and discussion.

Well let me tell you that when you are in middle of a crowded city like Rome bursting to have a pee with not a bush in sight and running like hell in the heat following the public toilet signs only to find when you get there that they are locked, nothing on earth is more important, nothing on earth is as big an issue, than your bursting bladder and close encounter with renal failure.

It is the stuff of which nightmares are made. Not having the right change and having to go out and buy another cold drink just to get the right coins to feed into the automatic lavatory door opening device.

Some airports are also designed by people who get their kicks out of watching tourists bursting their bladders all over the place. At Dubai I was really in agony having had to stand in a check-in queue for heaven knows how long. Eventually, I made it to the departure area and for the first time in my life I actually saw a queue of people outside the men's lavatories.

Queue you

I kept sprinting through this enormous airport and kept coming up against queue after queue. It was touch and go and eventually I found a lavatory right at the end of the concourse, literally milli-seconds minutes before having no option but to relieve myself in a plastic potted palms in front of at least 3 000 people.

But, there is a bright side to my tale of toiletry woe.

Now, I should preface this by saying that I have, in the past few years, had nothing good to say about our airports company, ACSA. But, arriving back at Cape Town International airport from the Middle East I walked straight into a spotlessly clean lavatory and as I washed my hands an attendant handed me a paper towel.

It suddenly occurred to me that at all the airports I have been to in this country, ACSA's toilets are generally very clean and there is always an attendant standing by to hand you a paper towel. They don't force you to leave a tip but I always do because it is such a pleasure being able to do what comes naturally in such clean surroundings.

Now, if ACSA could just apply the same sort of service levels to their security checkpoints, check in counters and things like that, they could become a world leader.

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