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Making money by selling fear
13/10/2008 12:40 - (SA)
Chris Moerdyk
Now we've all heard a lot about victims of crime. In fact, most of us are victims of crime. But, I'm getting the feeling that I'm a victim of security.
I am paying out so much money to all sorts of people to protect me from being robbed that I am almost at the point where I have nothing left of which to be robbed.
It all started when we moved into a Sandton suburb 18 years or so ago and someone suggested that we should create this superblock thing in which residents coughed up a modest monthly sum to build a police station, buy a few police cars and organise accommodation for the additional constabulary that would come our way.
Up till then I stupidly thought that was what I was paying taxes for.
Then someone, whose brother-in-law was probably in the fencing business, suggested that if we really and truly wanted to make sure that we would be safe and sound we should put a great big fence around the neighbourhood.
More money down the drain as we had to go to court to stop the municipality from tearing it down.
Then came the suggestion that if we wanted to be really, really, REALLY safe and sound we should pay the security company that manned the booms to stick radio transmitters and panic buttons in our houses, plaster signs on our walls and have three or four cars patrol the neighbourhood.
After which my mother-in-law was mugged at gunpoint right outside our house in broad daylight and it took those same patrol cars 20 minutes to drive roughly 600m to our house. Setting what must be a world record for rapid response.
A victim of security
But, undaunted by this complete lack of security when we really needed it, someone suggested that as we were now really, really safe in our houses we should start looking at out safety when we popped down to the local shops to pick up the paper, a loaf of bread and a litre of milk.
So, they got a whole lot of unemployed people, swore them in as "car guards", gave them t-shirts and told them to look after our cars in exchange for tips.
Then it dawned on me that I was well and truly a victim of security. I was being had.
The shopkeepers were telling me that they not only wanted my custom, my money but that they were going to contribute precisely sod-all to ensuring that I could do all this in relative safety.
Retailers, hotel owners, parking garage operators should stop making security on their premises our problem. I say, "if you want our patronage then you are going to have to start assuring us that our cars are not going to get ripped off. YOU are going to have to start paying those t-shirted fellows to look after our cars."
Surely, it is not unreasonable to expect shopkeepers or their landlords to do something about the safety of their customers and not just pass the buck? In Cape Town a while back, I pulled in to the parking lot of a wonderful hotel with equally wonderful service. Everything absolutely perfect.
Except that as I drove in to the parking lot there was a huge sign telling me that if I wanted to be fool enough to park my car there then I should not even dream about whinging if it got broken in to, damaged or stolen.
Well, that's how I read it. What it actually said was that standard; "Management bears no responsibility for loss or theft etc."
On the basis that first impressions are lasting impressions - despite the fact that this was a great hotel - that first impression teed me off no end.
Hopefully, as South Africa moves closer to a free market economy and competition begins to bite we will start seeing some really creative marketing from hotels, shopping centres and parking garages.
Good news
Creative marketing in the form of big signs that say: "Welcome, you car is quite safe with us."
And perhaps; "Please don't tip the parking lot guards, we pay them fat salaries to look after your car."
It's all a huge marketing opportunity when you think about it. Great customer service.
I'm happy to say it has sort of started already. On a visit to Franschhoek a few weeks ago, I was delighted to see notices pasted in all the shops asking visitors not to pay car guards. "Your car is perfectly safe in our streets - please don't turn our people into beggars."
Apparently members of the Franschhoek business community have taken all those self-appointed car guards and are trying to provide them skills and job opportunities.
Now that really is good news. It makes me feel that I am being welcomed and not just warned to keep my trap shut if something goes wrong.
Send your comments to Chris.
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