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Lighten up
16/04/2008 11:11  - (SA)  

Want to know more?
Answerit can help.

Chris Roper

Man oh man, I love being a South African. We're so funny!

Consider this: we applaud Susan Shabangu for telling our cops to pee on the constitution and go out and kill people, and at the same time we indignantly and shrilly assert that firing David Bullard for writing racist drivel is unconstitutional.

Does nobody see how contradictory this is? Granted, both Suzy "Wham" Shabangu and David Lardbull appear to believe in shoot first, and don't bother asking questions later. But still, it's kind of paradoxical to ignore the constitution in support of one, but to evoke it to defend the other.

And we're happy to have organisations like the BJ Forum that are only for black members, but we scream blue murder if someone suggests that sports teams should be chosen on merit. Such absurd inconsistencies are what make a country great, and by great I mean amusing. And by amusing I mean tolerable.

It's also instructive to see how often we cry racism. Many of our readers have called for the head of Jon Qwelane because he's a Mugabe supporter. That's racist, they cry. Now while I might agree with you that it's stupid to be racist, it's not racist to be stupid. And we need the likes of Jon Qwelane, the Paris Hilton of columnists. His bald pronouncements on Mugabe, Zuma and white bastards, are the equivalent of photos of Paris' crotch as she gets out of a car. You might think it's bad journalism, but you love looking anyway.

Herding cattle

Mind you, not many of us would agree on what the word "racist" means. One columnist wrote of the Bullard in a china shop incident that "I think labeling the man a racist for saying that the inhabitants of the continent would still be herding cattle had the past never happened is a bit extreme."

Now this is a little disingenuous. I can't imagine the Sunday Times editor saying "this bit about how when African children die, their mothers just have more children, is alright, very funny, but this bit about how we herd cattle is incredibly racist."

But assuming that this was in fact the case, others might argue the point that saying that all Africans - all of them - would be too stupid to make any progress if the white man hadn't come to Africa and saved them is racism in its absolutely purest form. It's a belief so sweepingly racist, it almost becomes a religion, in which case it's protected by the constitution.

Did I mention how much I love being a South African? We're so funny! If an alien doing interplanetary research into racism landed here, I can imagine the report he'd file. "Reading the pages of the national newspapers, it is evident that racism is a terrible problem in this country.

White people appear to have been prejudiced against since time immemorial, although inexplicably, except for about six black men in shiny suits, they appear to own most of the country's businesses. I recommend we invade at once and destroy the evil black oppressors."

Yep, it's our sense of humour that'll save us in the long run. You have to see the lighter side. Darker side. Whatever.

Send your comments to Chris.

Disclaimer: News24 encourages freedom of speech and the expression of diverse views. The views of columnists published on News24 are therefore their own and do not necessarily represent the views of News24.

- News24



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  Jon Qwelane
16/04/2008 11:21
"we need the likes of Jon Qwelane". No, no, and no again. Chris, more often than not your column is balanced, witty and full of perceptive obesrvations. BUT, I couldn't disagree more with you about Jon. He's not funny, certainly not clever, and possibly the worst journalist in the world. My 10 year old cousin has more valid opinions than him. Lock him in solitary confinement and save the world from his miserable and pathetic drivel. - Uh, no
 
  Brilliant!
16/04/2008 11:25
And just maybe, if we laugh togther more, we can get along with each other more! - Michelle
 
  so refreshing
16/04/2008 11:27
Thanks for putting a refreshing & amusing spin on the whole thing! - Seds
 
  You're missing one thing here
16/04/2008 11:35
"The Consitution" is not worth the piece of paper it's written on... - Boesman
 
  Respect For You Chief...
16/04/2008 11:37
Chief I dont like you that much actually!!but today you spoke like the Editor in chief for the first time..Well Done,I hear you and support your view point.thats all I have to say.I have respect for you from today... - Kolobe
 
  Racism
16/04/2008 11:40
Hey Chris, your not far off the truth. However, we need the racism card to be put away now and actually take a good look at what we all have to offer. I went to a very well known lady's funaral on Monday and hundreds of people came, all of which she had touched somewhere along there cancer ridden lives. She passed away in suffering, but still she helped others till the day she passed. Lets write about the people who care and not even listen to self-pittying Pro-Mugabe Jon Q. - Scott
 
  Mostly agree, but
16/04/2008 11:41
rather than focus on the problem, why not change the situation around? What if we (all RSA citizen) agree on what we agree, disagree on what we disagree and move on. Eg. Reasonable discipline (not dictatorship, rather legal), i.e. take egsample of ANCYL. Also Gov and Rugby was white, now predominantly black. Historicaly Gov favours their supporters. Both sides need to move towards common ground. Just imagine possibilities and potential, i.s.o. Brain Drain! - Matrix
 
  Interesting column, but no point.
16/04/2008 11:42
We applaud Shabangu because we're all directly or indirectly negatively affected by crime. We defend Bullard because he wrote a piece which to some sounds racist, but to others more of a matter-of-factly column while thinking aloud. Begs the question what someone like Bullard thinks about, but that's another subject. As for Bullard's piece ? I agree that when the white man arrived, the locals weren't as developed as their white counterparts. Everything (possible) after that ? Who knows ? - Marcel
 
  Lighten Up
16/04/2008 11:43
I read David Bullard column and accepted it as tongue in cheek drivel written only to elicit responses from a bunch of uptight Politcally correct morons. As for Susan Shabangu, while I don't agree with her, she at least made a positive stand against crime which is more than the rest of the government. We have to lighten up a whole lot but that needs to be tempered by mutual respect. Let's agree that there will always be racism in some form. I don't have to like you, but I do respect your rights, - Definitely not PC
 
  Humour
16/04/2008 11:43
It is good to see that some people in this country still have humour left in them. Maybe we should all stop taking ourselves so serious. Thanks Chris, you put a smile on my face. - JB
 
  Not bad but...
16/04/2008 11:45
I dont see the absurd inconsistencies that you talk about. Telling a cop to shoot to kill if his life is in danger is common sense, not unconstitutional. And the BJ forum and sport teams on merit comparison... I dont get it. They are surely two very different things? I do agree with the JonQ vs female crotch thing though. There's a term that describe both pretty well... - chops
 
  Flavour of the week
16/04/2008 11:45
Tounge in cheek writing. Say anything you want to, just make a joke in the end. I applaud you for your 'original' piece of writing. - Sinudeity
 
  Lighten up
16/04/2008 11:46
Liked the article. - Brenton
 
  Uh No... you missed it.
16/04/2008 11:46
Uh No ... I agree with Chris, Jon is like Paris. "His bald pronouncements on Mugabe, Zuma and white bastards, are the equivalent of photos of Paris' crotch as she gets out of a car. You might think it's bad journalism, but you love looking anyway". Chris ... Brilliant Column & liek you I love being a South African too. - italic_s
 
  Lovely
16/04/2008 11:47
It is so often the lens that we look through that blinds us to the real message. Many may actually percieve this piece as racist whereas I find it fittingly amusing in the SA context. One comment though, at least Paris's crotch can be regarded as useful whereas Jon's dribble...?? - Ace
 
  No sense of humour
16/04/2008 11:47
For the first 4 years of our democracy we used to be a nation that could laugh at ourselves...maybe we were in a drunken lull due to the ever dancing and smiling Mandela but we were a country who laughed. Lately all we do is complain about this, that or the other. We need to find that stupid happy go lucky Desmond Tutu type people in us again. Nice article. - Lesego
 
  The Great Misunderstood Qwelane - Bwhahahahahahahaha!!
16/04/2008 11:48
Amusing (and by that I mean insulting) article. Once again, journos make up facts to prove their point. Nobody wants Qwelane fired because he's a Mugabe supporter, per se. Its because he is an ignorant, bitter, hatefull racist that does not consider logic or reason, but incites more and more hatred. DUH!!! - ramone
 
  JQ and News24
16/04/2008 11:49
JQ is pornographic in the way that he taunts people and News24 are the purveyors of said pornography. But in truth this pornography does not arouse sex but rather hate. For me there is nothing funny in this behaviour. So I battle to agree with you Chris. - Doorboot
 
  JQ?
16/04/2008 11:51
I think when you refer to JQ in any column it loses it's appeal. - Joe Soap
 
  Need more of this
16/04/2008 11:51
That was really great. To get me to laugh at Jon Qwelane is one thing. But to get Jon to keep me on the floor laughing is another! - Craig
 
  Always enjoy your take on life.
16/04/2008 11:51
Well done on this article! I especially like your point about "it's kind of paradoxical to ignore the constitution in support of one, but to evoke it to defend the other." We are a strange lot in this country! And we all do have an ability, our saving grace, to laugh at ourselves and the absurdities that we sometimes believe in. - Dave Robbins
 
  Arse about face...
16/04/2008 11:57
<> I think not Chris. We are NOT happy to have exclusive groups based on race, and we DO want teams chosen on merit. I'm not sure who'se dog you're trying to stroke here, I would imagine though, that both will bite. - Nick
 
  Healthy Debate
16/04/2008 11:58
Nothing like a provocative article to encourage healthy debate. - Ad
 
  JQ needs our sympathy
16/04/2008 11:58
As always an excellent piece Chris, particularly your assessment of JQ. JQ is certainly in need of our sympathy - no normal person changes flavours with such monotonous regularity, without being in dire need of professional help. - yt1021
 
  One issue at a time there Chris
16/04/2008 11:59
Look you are rasing very interesting arguments in your article however you turn to mix a lot of issues, i guese you were saying to us"Pick one and tell me what you think",Susan Shabangu is correct-shoot and kill the b...s.You might have a beef with Jon Qwelane, he has always made sense to me. If the white man had'nt come into SA black people will be well off. There happy now!!!!!!!!!!!!!! - Thokozani
 
  Racism
16/04/2008 12:03
Too true Chris, too true. But remember, rules are only rules if I benefit from it. If I have to comply and you benefit, it can not be applied - a very short, crooked line between 2 points... (and that is true for all humans - not just South Africans. I think the only exceptions are GW Bush and Jon Qwelane.) - Louis
 
  Howzit!
16/04/2008 12:09
A good read, as always! On the comparison,I don't agree : Paris Hilton is beautiful/stupid, so she tries to attract attention (publicity) by flashing and making p0rn movies. What is Jon trying to achieve by constantly calling everybody else (read every white person) racist, and by being racist himself? He might gain some publicity with his comments, but he's not helping reconciliation, he is only creating more racist feelings.I used to think he was clever/witty in his 702 days, but not anymore. - Christo
 
  So South African
16/04/2008 12:09
Yes, what can I say. There are so many contradictions in the press, I do not know where to start. I cannot believe that Jon Q actually believes what he wrote the other day. I believe he actually wants to be David Bullard.....but cant because he is black - Jacques
 
  Nice one Chris
16/04/2008 12:10
I never comment on letters or columnists as there is never anything worth commenting on, but this one is great. Well balanced article. I also laugh daily at the comments made here and find them more humourous than the writers themselves. The lessor of two evils? Leave the JQ's and the DB's of this country to write what they please and sometimes add a dash of humour to the subject. It always makes it go down better. Oh, it is great to live in this country. - Nicky
 
  Time line
16/04/2008 12:11
Yet, again... I think a time line is necessary to show a visual to people of our country, to keep in mind when going about their usual business. When a predetermined 'point' is reached, SA people should be adjusting their mindset to WE ARE ALL EQUAL, which means equal rights too. Unions who support the rights of EVERY SA citizen on equal basis should then be in place. Until then tension will always strive. Don't stretch the time line... - ElectroMan
 
  LMAO
16/04/2008 12:27
nice view of things Chris....the problem with our society today is most people don't know the difference between fact and racism...... - gooday
 
  thanks
16/04/2008 12:28
the positive column has made my morning! - Andrew
 
  Nicky
16/04/2008 12:32
You have been very silent lately whats up??the last time you tuned me up was when you suggested that I write an article on news..which I did..but then you did not respond..how can you??? - Kolobe
 
  If you are not writing a book
16/04/2008 12:35
you should be writing one soon...because you really paint such a vivid picture with what you are conveying! I love all the analogies you used in this article.... I have started becoming an avid reader of your articles I think they are brilliant. Im not just saying it for a giggle either. - John Kotsaftis
 
  Prosecute David Bullard
16/04/2008 12:35
I think David Bullard should be prosecuted for inciting hatred..just like Briggit Bargot of France... - Kolobe
 
  racist drivel....
16/04/2008 12:36
I agree South African's should probably lighten up.It would help if everything wasn't always about race.In my opinion that is why someone like JQ is dangerous,he divides people and he incites them(besides being wildly inaccurate at times) and helps to make it impossible for people to focus on what they have in common,instead we grow further apart everyday.Now David Bullard went way too far with his column and got fired for it.But I find it rich that you so easily refer to what he writes as racist drivel when week on week you happily publish JQ.Because you cannot tell me that if JQ were white and he were writing the exact opposite race wise he wouldn't have lost his job a long time ago.And the fact that you publish something that not only doesn't contribute anything positive but actively helps to further divide South Africans simply for the sensation says so much more about you and News24 than above attempt at levity. - stef
 
  LMAO
16/04/2008 12:42
"BJ Forum has only Black Members".. lmao... and I thought putting ones foot in ones mouth had more to do with, well... actual feet, rather than foot as a length of measurement - The Post Easter Bunny
 
  Constitution
16/04/2008 13:02
I have the constitutional right to be black or white, man or woman, no matter what colour or gender I was born. Today I'm black, tomorrow white and I have the RIGHT to choose. Therefore as an African Woman I disagree with you but as a European Man I agree. - Top Deck
 
  STOP READING JQ
16/04/2008 13:06
The worst thing you can do to Jon Qwelane, is to stop reading his column. If you cannot contain your curiosity, at least do not respond. He likes pissing of white people. So every hateful message he gets from you the reader, makes him smile. Stop responding and see how that gets to him. I have. - LM
 
  Who is supporting her?
16/04/2008 13:07
oh please, who is supporting Susan Shabangu? We don't want a police state! Very irresponsible to say police should shoot anybody who threaten their lives, especially in the light of the fact that many policemen are actually part and parcel of the crimes themselves. - Barry
 
  Deck...
16/04/2008 13:08
So what you are actually saying Deck, is that I can choose to either Male, Female, Black or White... I'll keep that in mind next time I apply for an AA job... thanks - The Post Easter Bunny
 
  Jon Qwelane...
16/04/2008 13:12
I agree Chris, like Paris Hilton's crotch, Jon Qwelane gives me wood! - Ryan Matthews
 
  cynical
16/04/2008 13:21
Love the article. Love more - the comments which follow. By the way, I am a "Bull in the China Shop" FAN. What saddens me though is that the "laughter" is changing. Laughter today is underpinned by tones of cynicism and bitterness. And these tones are coming from every corner of SA - no divisions based on race here. So laugh - but understand the dangers ahead. Cynicism and bitterness are symptoms of a brewing recipe for sadness. - Jacqui
 
  Brilliant
16/04/2008 13:25
Thank you for the article..It was brilliant. You really made me smile, Chris. Thanks - Me
 
  Whte = Merit
16/04/2008 13:25
"And we're happy to have organisations like the BJ Forum that are only for black members, but we scream blue murder if someone suggests that sports teams should be chosen on merit." Does this mean, again, that white equals merit? I mean, how would you compare the the two? It's things such as these which J.Q fights every time he posts a "racist" column ... - Mkhokheli
 
  Kolobe
16/04/2008 13:25
Have you read the racist cr*p that JQ writes? Yet you call David Bullard racist? Time to have your head checked. - L
 
  My sentiments
16/04/2008 13:25
exactly Chris.Whatever - psycobabble
 
  To Kolobe
16/04/2008 13:27
Don't you think JQ should also be prosecuted? Take an artticle of JQ and exchange every reference to "white" with the word "black" and vice versa. Would it not then constitute a racist article? - Green skin
 
  To Ryan Matthews
16/04/2008 13:28
That's disgusting Ryan.... how can Paris Hitleron possibly give anyone wood??? - The Post Easter Bunny
 
  I wish..
16/04/2008 13:30
I wish all journalists would write with such objectivity. In fact, I wish all South African can be this objective...well said! - Themba
 
  Truth be told
16/04/2008 13:35
I cant see why the people go on about white and black, were black say whites think its their land and whites defend themselves, i do not want to see what happens the day all whites stop paying their taxes or all whites decide to burn their own lands and bussineses and leave SA cause hell what will we blacks eat, were will our food and salaries come from and who will pay our goverment to enable our goverment to give us money for the kids our sisters have. - MHPO MMAPHALELE
 
  Racism going nowhere.....
16/04/2008 13:36
the only way is for us to loosen up and get over it, we sleep, eat, even breath racism, South Africans are all racist blacks and whites and althe other races, so ja let's laugh about it.as for JQ he's trying to make us get used to the silly comments he always makes, we'll eventually learn to not take it seriously. - khokho
 
  Mkhokheli
16/04/2008 13:38
Damn good comment there, Mkhokheli. And some fine analysis. Of course, my comment does in fact imply that, but it's purely for the sake of argument. And yet, your point is valid - implying that merit would result in a mostly white team is racist. The fact that it currently seems to work that way is of course also highly contentious - it's that way for a number of reasons, with many of them not to do with the quality of the players. - Chris Roper
 
  Lighten up?!
16/04/2008 13:42
I'm a whitey and I do enjoy Jon, have for years. It's you Chris that needs to lighten up. I think I get you point but trying to be as patronizing and cynical as David Bullard is a wee bit much. - Coen
 
  don't you mean....
16/04/2008 13:44
Susan Sha-BANG-U! Agree with Nick - can't work out which cat you are stroking, but the pussyfooting is clear. You bring up Sha-BANU-U as a comparison to Bullard and then bring in JQ with Mugabe without the direct comparisons that are obvious - and then toss in more, Paris Hilton (Duh!) Expected a bit more from you. - jenny
 
  Mkhokheli....
16/04/2008 13:51
From what I read in these posts every day, it is black people that equate merit with white. White people want merit and dont care what colour that merit comes in, so long as we win. Unfortunately, black people seem to be scared of this merit thing because, for some reason, they dont seem to think they can make the grade. I, personally,think they are wrong and we need to change that mind-set. - greggo
 
  Chris,
16/04/2008 13:55
you should add that JQ sounds like Eugene Terreblanche before he went to jail. JQ needs a horse and some Klippies and Coke. - hjs
 
  laugh some more ...
16/04/2008 13:55
Let's laugh some more while our people get slaughtered and murdered . ha..ha..ha ...indeed a funny country. - Henry
 
  mkokheli
16/04/2008 13:57
No Mkokheli, white does not equal merit. But reserving places in a team based on race alone certainly indicates that you do not expect the guys vying for those specific positions to make it on merit alone, otherwise why reserve places at all? Calling for a "representative" team makes it quite clear you do not care about whether someone deserves to be in a team, as long as he is the "right" colour. Understand now? - prometheus
 
  uhum ahem aha
16/04/2008 14:01
First publish him then fire him *eye roll*. - pilea
 
  John Qwerty
16/04/2008 14:08
Oh c'mon people, Give John Q a break... Firstly, he's entitled to his own opinion (however misguided and moronic it may be) Secondly, he is an amusing read Thridly, he is contraversial to provoke reaction, I'm pretty sure he doesn't beleive most of the nonsense he writes... BUT he sure catches a lot of fish with his bait Freedom of Speech, a freedom I would kill or die for to preserve - The Post Easter Bunny
 
  both right
16/04/2008 14:11
In my opinion, both JQ and DB are correct. We whites do have some things to answer for and to apologise for, but we have also done some good things that we would like recognition for. I thank MHPO MMAPHALELE for recognising this in her post. I also think that the sooner we get rid of this horrible Western politally correct rubbish and start calling a spade a spade, the sooner we can all move on and build this beautful country. - greggo
 
  Bullard/Qwelane one-upmanship
16/04/2008 14:12
1st prize for media to News24 for publishing "diverse" views & a disclaimer. Winner of the retorts to Bullard for showing how to treat racism: in response to Qwelane's racist remarks about the Jewish Board of Deputies, Bullard tried to join the Jewish Board of Sheriffs. [Would he get to wear a Star of David, I wonder] Racist crap, whether black or white, is best dealt with ridicule. - Ha-ha
 
  @ Kolobe
16/04/2008 14:20
Silence is golden. None the less, I have been enjoying your writing of late. Makes for great debate and interesting reading. Keep it up. - Nicky
 
  whatever
16/04/2008 14:22
I see kolobe is on one of his "I want to sound like somebody " rants.Dear old Mr JQ is exactly the same as DB.Why fire the one and not the other? At least DB's articles are cleverly written.I reckon JQ just takes out his diary and randomly inserts his racist views into a badly written piece.The problem with this country is that 90% of all races still despise the other..before people fix whats wrong in their hearts, this beautiful country will just go to pieces.. - Indeedio
 
  Priorities
16/04/2008 14:23
Are we in SA not looking for too many excuses? We blame racism for a lot of problems we as a country have. We should get over petty issues and apportioning blame and rather concentrate on issues of priority. Who cares whether a white person's able to attend a blacks only press conference while people are being raped and murdered? Where have our priorities gone to? - Strider
 
  Right on Khokho
16/04/2008 14:26
I agree with Khokho! We're all racists...but I believe this is due to the fact that we are all so different. Tolernace is key I believe :) Later - The Darker Side of Nonsense
 
  *sigh* again
16/04/2008 14:27
Once again, somebody who can't read properly. Tell me, Chris: Did you even read the Minister's words verbatim? Or did you read newspaper articles construing her words as a call to piss on the constitution? She didn't call for anyone to ignore the constitution. She called for people to disregard the notion that you cannot shoot at criminals. She called for police and citizens to defend themselves with lethal force, SHOULD their constitutionally guaranteed right to life be endangered by criminals. - Wernardt Toerien
 
  Bob Marleys sang this fsong
16/04/2008 14:29
Hypocrites, hypocrites, you gonna pay the price the some day. Weird how people who believe they are morally/ethically superior to other race groups are actually the biggest hypocrites. Who's fooling who here? - ComeOn FreeMe
 
  Why Not??
16/04/2008 14:30
Is our constitution so high and mighty freaking full proof that if WE don't subscribe to its entirety then WE'RE being contradictory??? I think not. Wake up man, this is the same constitiution that protects criminals more than law abiding citizens! - Jim
 
  ya'll take these collumns way too seriously
16/04/2008 14:33
I have watched over the last few weeks at the interesting comments posted after each column, an di come to the conclusion that u south africans need to lighten up a little Blacks stop playing the racial card, whites stop playing the victims and carry on with life im from namibia we had the worst of apartheid, and you dont hear such gibb coming from us move on for Gods sake - tired
 
     
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