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Morals
09/11/2007 09:56
Their is a name for women with these kind of morals. As for the type of men associating with them.... Kry vir julle! - Martin |
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I Agree
09/11/2007 10:01
Well said - anon |
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Thanks for this article
09/11/2007 10:01
Colleen, I couldn't agree more. But I'm afraid that what you've written, is not the flavour of the year. You might get a lot of flak... By the way, at my workplace, I see more women initiating banter than men. - Mark |
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I absolutely agree...
09/11/2007 10:14
Women are always automatically believed, because they are believed to be the weaker sex and need protection. I always find it insulting, when I hear on the news(or wherever) something to the effect of "we need to keep our women and children safe" ... what about the men .... we a major part of this society and we are not always in the wrong... and more often than not, I find that a man conscientious than a woman. Basically, women have become very good at "using" the system to suit their needs. - Agree |
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Men aren't always guilty
09/11/2007 10:15
My wife went to court, said I abused her financially, yet all I did was pay. She accused me that I was abusing her children from a previous marriage, yet our doctor testified the kids were never abused. She said I sexually abused my daughter of 4. It was proved not to be true. The police kicked me out of my house. My estanged wife kept all the assets. I am still fighting to see my daughter. Bad luck hey dad. Another abusive woman. - Henry |
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Need we say more
09/11/2007 10:23
Well said. Men are bashed from all angles. We are abusers, rapists, pigs, dogs. It is too much - Supporter |
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RE: Thank You
09/11/2007 10:23
I cannot comment on the rape situation, but I agree 100% with you on the sexual harrasment issue. While I cannot condone a man in management position using sex as a trade in any way, a lot of innocent banter that sometimes lightens the atmosphere in the workplace shouldn't suffer. If sometimes it goes too far, a short "oy, that's going too far" usually works quite adquately and seldom causes offence either.
- Lejane |
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True
09/11/2007 10:27
And these woment don't realise that it only makes it more difficult for the innocent ones to have their cases rightfully solved. But you have to agree that its an extremely fine line? Yes people are more sympathetic towards women but can you blame them? Also how does one define what is acceptable and what isn't? You've made valid comments but it doesn't make the judge's task any easier - Tanya |
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More needed...
09/11/2007 10:30
Thanks Colleen, we need more articles like this one. How about mens rights in these situations or what men should if wrongfully accused. Spending even one night in jail will seem like a lifetime. - anon2 |
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men -also victims
09/11/2007 10:34
it could not be said any better - bheki |
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Yr article
09/11/2007 10:37
Hi Colleen tks for a very good article. What you have said is very true. Recently there have been articles in the media concerning women who have been caught out lying. The sad thing is that none of this is necessary, and it takes a man years to clear his name if ever. When a man is accused of rape all the anti rape organizations drag his name through the mud even before he gets his day in court. When he is found to be innocent none of those organizations ever appologise to him.
Regards
Philip - Philip Gray |
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Men aren't always guilty
09/11/2007 10:39
Colleen, hey, hey for the sweet article. On Monday I am being hauled to court for maintenance, which by no means I certainly do maintain my child, from my ex lover. I am worried that the arbitrator will not see my side of the story. I buy food and clothing for the child every month but I fear the story that was told to them in for them to serve me with a subpoena. - Mjero |
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Great article
09/11/2007 10:45
So true! "Vat so Katvis"! - Leentjie |
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most men-abusers
09/11/2007 10:45
men are usually abusers, and irrespective how drunk i could be, if i say NO, then leave me alone. but men ussually dont. custody wise, women are usually the ones that excel at the primary care of the child, thus preference should go to them. i know of a guy friend of mine who has custody...mmh you should see the poor child. - anon |
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Men aren't aways guilty
09/11/2007 10:56
Men are most of the times guilty they appear to be pillars of the society and yet at home they are lions they are feared by their wives and kids. And when you tell people about the monster u live with they don't understand or believe you, as he is the sweetheart of the community. Men are mostly the ones who don't care or pay maintenance for their kids. It is not fun to go to the maintenence court but we are forced, it also not fun to go to court and testify that you have been raped. - Mimi |
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I couldn't have said it better
09/11/2007 10:58
Hi Colleen, thanks for a superb article. What you said is sad but true. Men are are assumed to be potential predators, rapists and abusers, purely because they are men, while woman are assumed to be naturally moral, caring and honest. And in my workplace, it is almost always the women who initiate sexual banter and who push it to (and way beyond) the boundaries.
There was a great book about this a few years ago called 'Not guilty - In defence of the modern man". Forgot the author. Worth reading. - Francois |
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Reply to Tanya
09/11/2007 11:01
You say "people are more sympathetic towards women but can you blame them?" What do you mean by that? Are you saying woman are more worthy of sympathy than men? Please elaborate. - Francois |
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A step back for women
09/11/2007 11:06
As an African man who truly advocates for women rights, I am saddened by the women who abuse the system and laws. I think the women found to be lying and perpertrating such nonsense should be charged in court. Its really not on for the women who are truly abused. - Mpume |
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fear of talking
09/11/2007 11:12
Most men would not even claim or lay charges, because of embarrassment from the police and corporate structures. Men are silent victims of what bitter women do, rightfully so we all need protection but let it be factual even before prosecution. Allegation have been made before about me, luckily the woman told her friends upfront about the set up. As innocent has I was they testified against her, the purpose was to destroy my marriage and career. Thanx to those brave women how stand 4 the truth. - ML |
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It's because...
09/11/2007 11:20
This abuse of the system will continue to happen unless the legal system actually pursue the abusers. In England a couple of months ago, a girl was sent to jail for three years for lying in court in a rape case.
In cases where the man is found to be innocent, it should not be the end of it.
Justice must continue against the claiment for the abuse of the system for her personal gains. - Koos |
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Guilty!!
09/11/2007 11:20
I once told a female collegue that she looked tight in those denims and jokingly asked her to hit a 360 degree turn so i can reconcile her's with J Lo's and laughed...well.. needless to say ! i was subpoened to the Director's office and " Got a slap on the wrist with a warning " . - Les-Maada |
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Reply to anon. and Mimi
09/11/2007 11:21
To "anon." and "Mimi": Ladies, if you are living with a bad man, then I feel sorry for you. Really, I do. But this is NO reason to make generalised statements like "Men are usually abusers" or "Men are most of the times guilty". This is absolute BULL. It's called hate-speech, and by writing something like this, you are not putting yourself on moral high ground either. - Mark |
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let be honest
09/11/2007 11:26
men,dont even say what they really think to women.If women are equal as they claim to be in business then compete with men,dont play the victim.Point is I could just tell every women she fat,if she beleives me or not,not my problem - anan |
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I Agree
09/11/2007 11:29
What is really sad about all this, is that women who lie about being raped for whatever reason, makes women who were really raped less credible. There are horrible people out there, both men who rape and women who lie about it... - LB |
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reply to anon and mimi
09/11/2007 11:30
I find it unfair that you would so casually generalize men as guilty, abusers, monsters. if this was true I coulds easily say all woman are flirts and seductresses, manipulators etc. However this is not true.Just because you have a bad man in your live does not mean we are all the same. - a thought |
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Woman to woman - Oh no Colleen!
09/11/2007 11:30
I'm surprised you didn't conclude you article with: There's no such thing as a prostitute getting raped. After all, it's her trade, it's what she's expecting, she's dressed the part, and above all... it is the man's right as a paying customer to do what he likes with her! Think about it, discuss it, research the cases of the victims and perpetrators, talk to them - and then relook at your article. Also, think about the girl child who's abuser has made her believe it's her fault, their secret. - Curious |
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Men aren't aways guilty
09/11/2007 11:30
I agree not all men are quilty and yet the once that are indeed quilty of things like rape dont always face the music like they should they get a slap on the hand and he walks away .. but the woman must live with the ordeal the rest of her life .. there is no winners.. - Music |
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Mimi
09/11/2007 11:31
The aticle did not say that rape or harassment does not happen. It just asked for a more balances view, and in my opinion, made a strong case for the principle of "innocent until proven guilty". Your kneejerk reaction, probably based on personal experience, to judge ALL men by the same standard is exactly what this article is about. - jogi |
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Women live in the future, men in the past!
09/11/2007 11:32
Colleen, thanks for a very good article. Women often attach to a guy, seeing him as some raw material to be improved. Guys always miss that pleasant, sweet, loving lady they originally met, wondering where the heck she went! I also tend to agree with Marting of 'Kry vir jou!'. We always said "Guys go out wondering if they are going to get laid tonight. Women go out knowing!". - Jan Patrick |
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Sly
09/11/2007 11:33
Yes, you get male pigs, but you also get a lot of women who abuse the system by always blaming the x-husband for everything that goes wrong in their own lives and those of their children. They agree to a divorce but then start using the kids to get to the husband. Crying about money all the time, about neglecting the kids, about the new wife, as if he is not entitled to a new life. They are so sly and cunning and think they will forever have power over the x, by using his children against him. - Bella |
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Teenage girls
09/11/2007 11:37
Nobody deserves to be raped by anybody BUT. How do you allow your teenage girls to drink, use drugs and smoke with friends at a mall and 'wonder' why one of their (also drunk) male 'friends' has raped them? These girls are so flirty and 'wild', they seduce the boys and then come crying afterwards if they GOT what they WANTED, or thought they wanted! Maybe more than they have expected though! - Sunny |
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shame on you
09/11/2007 11:39
I'm a man, but reckon you write rubbish. Obviously there are examples of women having made up claims of rape etc...BUT how many are that? 1% 2% The macho culture in this country leads to thousands of rapes...most of them not reported. Shame on you Colleen, shame on you. - pete |
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Re-Morals
09/11/2007 11:40
I agree with you martin... Ja! I respect the 'strength' of a woman! - Darkie |
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Men
09/11/2007 11:42
When it comes to paying maintenance men are the pits. They alway think the money goes to the ex and pays as little as possible. The kids suffer because of this because mommy cannot affords everything they need on the pittance daddy contributes.!!!!! - Annie |
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Do the SA laws protect women & children
09/11/2007 11:53
I was abused in every aspect in my marriage and when I left with a 2yr old son & 8mnth old daughter. My baby girl was sexually abused whilst on a court appointed visit with her dad. Because my ex's sister in laws were attorneys and knew all the people working in the court. My ex got away with it all. He still sees my daughter under supervised visits, but was never charged for anything. He pays R500 mnth maintenance. Were is the justice for women??? - ANON |
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Not always guilty?
09/11/2007 11:54
On the other hand I am facing a battle protecting my daughter from her father who sexually abused her from age 1 until she started talking just before her 2nd birthday. This battle has been going on for nearly 4 years, costing me roughly R120 000-00 in legal and therapy costs. His rights as her father has always, throughout the process, been more important than her innocence and her rights. - Gabrielle |
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Emotional Abuse..
09/11/2007 12:16
Ask any man he'll tell you that he is at the helm of emotion abuse by his woman. My STATS don't lie, of about 100 of out of 100 men I spoke to say they are abused by women emotionally, so that's 100% from my little stats. Now can some research compnay make this official please. - M-POWER |
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Men
09/11/2007 12:20
Not to mention: take a girl child to work, Oprah's school for girls and a whole lot of other uplift the girls/females programs. - Alu |
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Thanks
09/11/2007 12:21
Refreshing thoughts! You forgot to add that a woman can claim to be "married" after a 6 month relationship, then break up and claim maintanance, and half assets etc, then start all over again with a new guy. - John |
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Dear Annie
09/11/2007 12:21
There you go generalising again,some of you women don`t buy what the children need but rather what they want and in case you`ve forgatten it`s a 50/50 contribution,my ex certainly don`t think so,so i constantly have to remind her.Ex wives do things to spite the father and they use the children as bait,shame on you women do that and get a a life! - fatman |
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Reply to Francois
09/11/2007 12:31
I'm not saying women deserve it more, I'm just saying that because of the current high women abuse and rape stats in our country, its easy to see why people sympathise with women. Of course its sad when the man is the victim, and when people are too quick to judge, I was just pointing out a reality. - Tanya |
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Women
09/11/2007 12:41
I'm 32, been single for 13 years, and as happy as can be! The best way to avoid the "rape/abuse" card is to avoid women. They are masters at playing the victim role. And yes Annie, the money usually do goes to the ex and/or her boyfriend. - johan |
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read clearly people...
09/11/2007 12:42
For those of you who jump to the conclusion that a generalisation is being made by Colleen shows your lack of reading clearly or a lack of desire to see beyond your own opinion. As a man I am regularly ashamed of the abuse women and children go through, but this is not to say that there are women out there who do not take their own responsibility for what they do. Too many women are raped and abused and there is no excuse for this... but to immediately assume a man is guilty just because he is accused (without even standing before the court) is not the correct path to take. This is not excusing abuse... but let's not abuse a system in place to protect the real victims of abuse! - Goodness Gracious |
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Men aren't always guilty
09/11/2007 12:43
Thank you so much.
This must go on national Radio & Tv. - Deon - Deon Bohlmann |
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ELEVEN OUT OF TEN ONE FOR NEATNESS !!
09/11/2007 12:46
YES YOU ARE 100% CORRECT, I AM BEHIND YOU ALL THE WAY!!! - Liz |
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Teenage girls
09/11/2007 12:58
Most of these teenage girls cause the most problems for men. They know they are attractive and in most cases flaunt their assets in front of older men - especially those with money and drive expensive cars. there is a case in point where a friend of mine (a man) picked up a teenage and they went clubbing. the girl saw better financially endowed guys at the club and dumped the guy. three days latter she came back home and reported she had been kidnapped because she was afraid of her parentsr - Hossie |
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majority of men are the abusers
09/11/2007 13:29
yes men are "ussually" the abusers. look at all the convicted abusers. i bet 99.99% of them have MEN as abusers. look at the maintenance cases 99.99% is men who dont pay up. The stats speak for themselves, that majority of abuses are males. - anon |
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Oh come on Sunny
09/11/2007 13:33
what a naive view you make. drunk, high on drugs, whatever the case, DOES NOT give any man the right to abuse. if im out having fun getting drunk, does it mean i want it ??? hell no. men get drunk and high all the time, who abuses them?? well if they get abused, its probably another man!! - anon |
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