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Afrikaans
English
 

A helping hand is not enough
06/06/2008 11:56  - (SA)  

Want to know more?
Answerit can help.

Colleen Figg

On Wednesday we stopped to help some old folk who were stuck in an equally ancient automatic Mercedes Benz. The old man caught my eye because he was trying to push the car while being harangued by what appeared to be a ball-breaking kind of wife in the driver's seat.

She kept sticking her head out the window shouting imprecations and instructions at the fellow, who strained, pop-eyed, to move the car an inch let alone a couple of yards. I don't know if you have ever tried to push-start a heavy car like a Merc (I can manage VW Golf on my own, barely) but it's similar to trying to budge a recalcitrant donkey.

What made it worse was that this man reminded me of Salieri in that film Amadeus; if you remember him towards the end of his life, he was a grey-faced, pock-marked, monstrous-looking individual with a filthy bandage tied around his throat.

This fellow was his exact likeness, down to the bandage. It gave me quite a turn when he lurched towards the car; hacking and coughing half his lungs up with the strain of trying to get his car (or himself) going.

He stuck his head halfway in through the window which resulted in the husband leaping out with alacrity, nearly smashing "Salieri" on the bridge of the nose with the car door while the wife screeched "Wat gaan nou aan?" (What's going on now?) from her perch behind the steering wheel.

Confusion resulted between the two men about the English word tow, and the Afrikaans word "tou" (rope) as my husband asked "can we tow you", and the old man thought he said "I have got a 'tou'". Anyway a rope was eventually produced from the depths of the other car and we hitched them up.

Demanding money

I was worried about how Mrs Salieri would manage the towing aspect of things and in fact she took a while to disengage the handbrake, to the extent that the hard-won rope nearly snapped. After that luckily, it was just a matter of towing them along for about 50m, and turning down a road.

Once we stopped the car, the vampiric fellow materialised at our window again without seeming to have alighted from his vehicle, and actually, to our amazement, went on to demand money. He droned on at some length about expensive car parts and other fiscal issues until I interjected myself into the conversation, saying we really had to be going.

I don't know if he had been unaware of my existence up until this point, or whether my firm tone brooked no argument, but he disappeared without further ado. As we drove away my spouse and I shook our heads at one another in disbelief that the bloke had tried to squeeze us for money on top of efforts already made on his behalf!

"There's nowt as queer as folk", we said, and drove away home.

Send your comments to Colleen.

Disclaimer: News24 encourages freedom of speech and the expression of diverse views. The views of columnists published on News24 are therefore their own and do not necessarily represent the views of News24.

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  I've met them before - its a scam
06/06/2008 12:05
But when I did, they had a teenage daughter in the back seat too. He didn't want me to call for anyone, he just asked for money straight out for the "foreign parts". - Louise
 
  Pity Plot - A new style of scam in the making?
06/06/2008 12:11
Sounds like it! Good on you for being firm. :) - TaurusaurusRex
 
  grateful
06/06/2008 12:13
So the wife was whingeing to the husband? She must have been a s.african. I have helped numerous people on the side of the road, some have been foreigners, some s.african. The majority of the s.africans I helped were not at all grateful or appreciative, while the foreigners were grateful. Its fine, ibefore I help someone out on the road again, I will ask what nationality they are. If they are S. African, then I will just drive off! - s. african guy
 
  Huh
06/06/2008 12:14
Your writing confuses me. The way you use your words to tell a story is crap, but the story itself is good. - cvz
 
  Helping hand
06/06/2008 12:15
No good deed goes unpunished. - veritas
 
  Scam?
06/06/2008 12:21
Sheez that's the kakkest idea for a scam i've ever heard. Not disagreeing that it's a scam but that's hardly going to hook people into giving you money. C'mon people, even our standard of crime is dropping. ag nee mense! - Meech
 
  @Meech
06/06/2008 12:26
Yeah, desperate times hey? I think they play on people's sympathy too though. My thinking has always been that it could be me next to the road, and perhaps karma goes full circle and someone helps me. The thing was, they were about 2 km outside the nearest town, and I offered to take him into town to get the parts, and he declined my offer, but asked for money for the parts instead. - Louise
 
  @ cvz
06/06/2008 12:28
errr... thanks....(I think). - Colleen Figg
 
  Re CVZ
06/06/2008 12:30
I agree with CVZ - the story is good but your style is cr*p which makes the story unclear in places. You ought to know better, for a journalist. - Cynical
 
  You've been scammed
06/06/2008 12:46
Hello there I'm sure you've been scammed, but how where you to know! If we all just sit back & don't do anything because we are afraid to be "scammed", then a whole lot of people would go without much need help. Well done to you & hubby! As for the two people who so abused your generosity...SHAME ON YOU...you give people who REALLY NEED HELP...a bad name. - City Life 2
 
  RE: Cynical
06/06/2008 12:48
Colleen is not a journo, Cynical. She's a normal person like you and me, but she just happens to contribute columns to News24. You should know better, for a regular reader ;P - Lenore
 
  Hey, what's with this on a friday afternoon!!
06/06/2008 13:06
The story and writing is not that bad, don?t know what Cynical and CWZ is on about. Personally this story is just a story to me, and does not rock my world as I would expect most articles to do on news24, but no reason to go on about it. Was good enough for a Friday afternoon. Here?s a thought, I am going to watch the Chris Rock show tomorrow but before that watch the rugby at 15:00. My friend told me that I am basically going to watch 2 comedy shows for the price of 1. I thought it?s funny. Don?t go on about my writing skills, I am no journo!! - Marinda
 
  RE: CVC
06/06/2008 13:09
CVC -just because Colleen's English vocab far exceeds yours, it does not mean that you can through abuse. Rather be satisfied that there are people out there like Colleen and her husband that are willing to help people even though it might of been a scam - well done Colleen. - Mattthew
 
  What really confuses me
06/06/2008 13:12
Okay i know we are getting off the subject now, but maybe Colleen or somebody can tell me the meanings of the following words (and i can assure you this is the first time i have read them, anywhere): Harangued; Imprecations; Recalcitrant; Alacrity; Alighted) - without checking any dictionaries, please! I will give a noddy badge to those who know the meanings from general knowledge! - cvz
 
  @s.african guy
06/06/2008 13:12
Hey, that's a bit judgmental! I have been stuck next to the N1 in Cpt with a flat tyre, and a bakkie pulled up to help. 3 guys jumped out, and had my tyre exchanged in 10 minutes flat. I profusely thanked them! My brother and I have also stopped to help people, and we have always been thanked! - Kien
 
  Dishonest begging!
06/06/2008 13:13
What next? I am sure the warm fuzzy feeling of assisting someone was almost worth the disappointment. I understood your article and hadn't noticed anything wrong with your style until the critics pointed it out. Who really cares? Any column without JZ, Mad Bob, apartheid etc is a good one. - Birdman
 
  RE: Cynical + Huh
06/06/2008 13:20
Please let me know where I can read any of your published articles/stories that you have written. Clearly, to make comments such as yours you must be a literary genius! - Anon
 
  Writing
06/06/2008 13:23
Your writing poor is. But your story be very well. :) - Ash
 
  cvz
06/06/2008 13:24
Thank you chief and Spot On....sometimes we complicated things...all of those big words in one article...thats bad writting...we really dont have to struggle before we understand a message period...thats crap...I dont know what Colleen is trying to prove... - Kolobe
 
  Mattthew (are 3 t's supposed to be there?)
06/06/2008 13:25
Matt, all im saying is that if Colleen is just a normal person like you and me, like Lenore says, then why go are write a column with all these fancy unnecessary words which most "normal" people wouldn't use in any normal conversation?? - cvz
 
  CVZ
06/06/2008 13:27
Your lack of intellect is showing, just like the chip on your shoulder. - DV8
 
  CVZ and Cynical
06/06/2008 13:27
If you think you can do better at writing, give it a shot but if you've got nothing positive to say... keep quiet. Colleen I thought it was good piece, ignore the back seat editors!!! - clive
 
  @ South African guy part 2
06/06/2008 13:30
Am reading these comments and find this "SA guy" the biggest plonker on the page... IN my opinion- and numerous others- South Africans are by far the friendliest and most appreciative...adn with regards to wives whinging? Its because South African women are demanding and expect high standards- and that makes them Great! SA guy...get on your bike... - Adam in London
 
  I think I got it...
06/06/2008 13:31
What was the story about? And when does the car chase start? I love a car chase especially with old folks pushing, add some cops and gunshots and even CVZ might understand... - Gorilla
 
  Enjoyed it
06/06/2008 13:33
I enjoyed the article,however I was rather surprised when the guy asked for money! Colleen don't worry what negatives were posted here,keep up the good deeds and writing! CVZ has no idea of the English language,hence the ignorant questions!lol - Allan
 
  noddy badge please
06/06/2008 13:36
Harangued - fought with, kept on moaning at Imprecations - shouts/ screams/swearing at Recalcitrant - unwilling Alacrity - with speed, quickly Alighted - got down from/got out of And I'm Afrikaans nogal. No dictionaries, but then my descriptions may not be perfect. Not that difficult to comprehend. :P - liesl
 
  Your writing is fine
06/06/2008 13:39
In fact, it's great. - Tired of fools
 
  RE: CVC
06/06/2008 13:39
Harangued means a forceful or angry speech. Recalcitrant means Marked by stubborn resistance to and defiance of authority or guidance. Must I go on CVC. Wishing you would take your critisism and turn it into positive energy. - Matthew
 
  RE: ASH
06/06/2008 13:42
What's up YODA? Columns like the above are too intellectual for you. Go watch Star Wars and stay away from the Dark Side. - Matthew
 
  @ critics of my vocabulary
06/06/2008 13:43
The way I write is the way I speak in real life. Ask anyone who knows me. Because a few do not understand some words does that mean we should lower our own standards, in another kind of dumbing-down exercise, the likes of which we see too much these days? English is a beautiful language and should be used properly. - Colleen Figg
 
  Skills
06/06/2008 13:47
CVZ it is widely known that if you pick up a dictionary yourself to find meaning behind "unknown" words, you will remember those meanings and words. Do us all a favour and spend a couple of rand to buy a dictionary - it comes in handy in situations like you seem to be having with Colleen's writing. Language is made up of all kinds of words, but for some of us it seems words are becoming more difficult to comprehend - maybe some of us can only use short SMS type words... - MJS
 
  cvz , kolobe and cynical
06/06/2008 13:53
Spot on!! Ignore the attacks by the idiots who seem to think that a good deed eclipses the content of the article and try to excuse the erratic content because Colleen is not a journo. She is writing professionally for money for heaven's sake!! Which editor cleared this article for publishing?. There is no link between the arrival of the second man on the scene and the scam artists, almost like a paragraph was left out!! Not acceptable. Please connect the dots and don't leave it to the readers! - Professional Writer
 
  Scam?
06/06/2008 13:53
I got confused at the paragraph "He stuck his head halfway in through the window ". Who stuck their head out? But if this is some sort of a scam, no one is gonna fall for it. I mean, really. - Olivia
 
  Off topic
06/06/2008 13:56
How about instead of criticising Colleen for some creative English, we all just expand our vocabularies?! I admit that some of it was lost on me, but at least now I'm intrigued! It's a problem with the world today, instead of giving recognition, we want to drag others down to our level. It's pitiful. - Come on!
 
  Are you serious?
06/06/2008 14:06
cvz - if you've really never seen those words before perhaps you should be thanking Colleen for improving your vocabulary. - Clare
 
  To all the naysayers
06/06/2008 14:16
Oh please. Must all articles be written in 1 or 2 syllable words in order for your tiny troglodyte brains to process them? I went to a government school and even I comprehended Colleens column with no need for a dictionary. Honestly, pandering to the lowest common denominator is appalling and contributing towards the dumbing down of the general population. Try reading books with words instead of pictures, and then read this column again. Try actually using your brain for once. Honestly. - Lenore
 
  words
06/06/2008 14:18
The words Collen used are perfectly normal. Would you like her to dumb down??????? If English is not your 1st language, maybe you could benefit from looking up the words. - sheila
 
  Helping Hand
06/06/2008 14:19
All you idiots critisizing MS Figg,go away , you clearly haven't followed her writings. Colleen , carry on please.I and a thousand others gotit ,loud and clear. Mack. - Mack Myburgh
 
  All apologies
06/06/2008 14:21
Fine, i apologise for my "bad energy" and criticism. Noddy badge goes to Liesl - thanks for the English lesson. Matthew go eat dirt. Colleen have a good weekend! - cvz
 
  Not great, not bad
06/06/2008 14:28
But I really enjoyed the comdey of comments that ensued. That in itself made it worth my while reading the piece. I admit I became confused by the heads and husbands and windows but finally got the message. Its called "comprehension skills". Did I spell that correctly; all the critics? - Tuffy
 
  Fan of cvz ??
06/06/2008 14:33
Hi cvz. Further to your perspicacious comments, please think of this mail as a whole salvo of imprecations especially for you. I suspect that you may not know whether this is a compliment or an insult, but why don't you find a dictionary and figure it out. Join the dots ... - Fan of cvz ???
 
  DON'T DUMB IT DOWN!!!
06/06/2008 14:35
COLLEEN - DON'T DUMB IT DOWN JUST BECAUSE SOME READERS ARE DUMB! And for heavens sake readers if you don't know the meaning of the words, buy a dictionary or google them and learn something you maladjusted half wits - Craig
 
  Noddy Badge @cvz
06/06/2008 14:40
I love seeing good vocabulary in articles - why should english speaking people have to dumb down their language all the time. Thanks Colleen I'm completing this list without assistance. Harangued - verbally badgered Imprecations - have to guess that it means insults Recalcitrant - stubborn (especially useful for describing toddlers, teenagers and donkeys) Alacrity - speed Alighted - got out of (not really an uncommon word this - Karen
 
  Wish I had the time...
06/06/2008 14:50
To check this stuff out all day. Anybody knows what "scatalogical" means? Can't find it in any reference books or dictionaries. It's used on miningbuilder.com - Tuffy
 
     
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