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It's the wrong right leg, fool!
02/03/2007 11:54 - (SA)
Colleen Figg
The propensity of us humans to get ourselves into all sorts of scrapes is a never-ending source of hilarity for me and I spend a good bit of time surfing the net to find the latest and best bizarre stories, as a result. I get a huge kick out of the fact that our bungling seems universal and is no respecter of race, creed or, seemingly, level of intelligence.
Take for instance the surgeons in China who, in trying to correct the limp of a five-year-old lad, lengthened the wrong leg. Evidently none of them managed to notice that the boy was on his back when anaesthetised (eish! That's a hard word to spell!) but was laid face down for the operation itself.
I think what makes this sort of thing screamingly funny to me, is imagining the conversation once the blunder was noticed:
Surgeon Chang: "That is not the right leg you @&* fool!"
Surgeon Zhong: "What do mean, you idiot, of course it's his right leg!"
Surgeon Chang: "Well it's his right leg you pratt, but the wrong leg all the same!"
Surgeon Zhong: "When I asked you if this was the right leg you said yes and so I lengthened it! What the devil do you mean; are you trying to play the fool?"
Surgeon Chang: "(Confucius save me from intellectually challenged *&^%$ cretins like him!) I meant the left was the right, alright? The left!"
And of course the scene when the quacks had to notify the parents must also have had its moments of side-splitting hilarity, with the parents coming up to a rapid boil as they try to comprehend a gaffe of such monumental proportions.
If it's any consolation, the surgeons... er... apologised... and new surgery is scheduled to correct the problem. Which as you can imagine, involves lengthening the right leg, that is to say, the left one and shortening the wrong one, that being the right.
Tears of glee
It's too much, people! I had to mop up tears of joyous glee!
Sometimes you don't even have to read the articles to start giggling, the mere headline is enough:
"Stand-in mistress sought to take wife's abuse, says businessman"... Do you see women flocking to answer this one? His wife apparently regularly attacks his mistress and he'd prefer it if another woman would take it instead!
"Man tried to cash $50 000 cheque from God"... surely to goodness it must have occurred to him that the teller might notice that God was the drawer?
"Dog buys own sausages"... Gary Larson would have a field day drawing this one!
"Virgin Mary appears... on pizza pan"... perhaps she was craving Italian?
Of course the howler for the month of February for me was that Wisconsin man barging into his neighbour's flat, brandishing a sword, after hearing a porn soundtrack and reckoning a woman was being raped.
Just picture the porn-watcher's face! It's a scene worthy of Chief Inspector Jacques Clouseau at his knee-slapping best.
Tee Hee! So glad chivalry is not dead!
Send your thoughts to Colleen.
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