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Unruly children
06/07/2007 08:47
Your article hits the nail on the head. Highly accurate. It is about time parents stepped up and stamped their authority. "Spare the rod, spoil the child." - Chris |
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Brilliant article
06/07/2007 08:54
This article is absolutely BRILLIANT and every word is true. We have 21 , 18 and 15 yrs children, whom are perfectly discribed above. We tend to spoilt too much as we want to give them better than we had. This discribes all my friends and families children as well. What a HUGE mistakes we make. They are gradually maturing into responsible adults now - only time will tell - Venessa |
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Good column
06/07/2007 08:54
Agreed, smack the little blighters. Smack em hard, I was. And I'm sure all the parents of today have been smacked for disobeying their parents. Why not maintain discipline standards and raise decent people than spare the rod and raise ogres. Today's society is raising barbarians. Cease this at once. - MP3 |
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children
06/07/2007 08:56
However it is a harsh reality, that we have to keep our children in sight constantly. No more playing in the neighbourhood and making friends, no more sending them on errands - the consequences of what was normal for us could be dire for them. - sheila |
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Sigh
06/07/2007 08:58
Here we go again about kids. Just because you were not able to have the things you wanted as a child or because your uncle Ted had to polish brass or whatever does not mean that we are not grateful. Times have changed since 60 years ago.
"They are weak-willed, self-serving, materialistic, shallow, selfish, disrespectful, grabbing, forceful, money-orientated, ungrateful little beasts"
Funny thing is they will probably be successful. Sorry but open your eyes, they not harming anyone.
Cheers
- Jason |
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Doing it for the children
06/07/2007 08:58
Overindulging a child is just an easy way out for parents who do not know how or want to discipline their children. Parents are getting younger and younger - what can a 14yr old mom or dad teach a child? If you go into any shopping mall nowadays, the little brats are running amok!What does mom and dad do about it? NADA! They dont event bat an eyelid! Not even the slightes, feeble attemp is made by the parent to rope the child in! We think we have a problem now, wait another ten years or so.... - Landy |
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Children
06/07/2007 09:05
Shame... it really is sad that the children be blamed for parents who can't put their foot down!!!! If your children are unruly & weak-willed etc etc etc... it is just your own fault. Some of us are actually proud of our strong-willed children, who doesn't mind doing chores for pocket money!!!! So if you want to point a finger - just remember, there are more than one pointing back to you!! - Christelle |
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Doing it for the children
06/07/2007 09:08
Indeed.What will come of our negligent behaviour?I have a son[7]and a daughter[5]that are part of our and this country's future.I look at them and know the responsibility that rests upon me.What is missing in these times are parents that can not only tell right from wrong,butlead by example.As for the job i'm doing...I will leave judgement in my own parents' and God's hands.Responsibility for creating a safe and sound South Africa lies with us and our government. - Dr.Phil |
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copycats
06/07/2007 09:08
Unfortunately children reflect exactly what we feed into them or what we are. The anger, disrespect, racism, materialism, selfishness & hate relect the average adult south african. - Ans |
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SA kids
06/07/2007 09:10
An excellant article.Our future generation(leaders) is coming to near ruins.Where are our parent?Where are all the upright citizens of our society?Children should be a blessing not a curse. - Larry |
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Sad but true
06/07/2007 09:10
Brilliant article Colleen and it's sad but true that many parents are held to ransom by their own children. What's so wrong with kids having to do chores around the house to earn their pocket money? It never did us any harm! - Regan |
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Be careful
06/07/2007 09:13
Old advice: Be careful of your kids, they get to pick your old-age home and control your heart and lung machine..... - Jakes |
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Solution
06/07/2007 09:15
Any parent(mother or father), in fact , just about anyone caught buying, reading or speaking about the latest edition of Heat Magazine should be neutered and rendered forever incabable of reproducing. - tazo |
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Well said...
06/07/2007 09:16
I fully agree. Children need discipline as much as they need love. Unfortunately to many people believe the two are opposites. And in a society where everything revolves around the individual it's things become increasingly difficult for parents. - Cronje |
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KIDS !!!
06/07/2007 09:17
I want to roll over and kill myself laughing when parents complain about how rude, disrespectful etc etc their children are. WHO IS TO BLAME - wake up - you are, yes THE PARENT.... We all turned out fine having been given a good old fashion hiding. Kids need to know how far they can push a parent. So stop complaining and do something about it!!!! - Denise |
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children
06/07/2007 09:19
Whilst I agree with most of your article, I would like to point out that parents today are doing to best they can do in the world/society we live in. We would like to provide the best for our children, and if that means dropping them off at their sports events/being involved in their achievements( sitting on the stand and cheering them on), why ever not? Everyone can agree that crime is reaching volcanic proportions in SA- and I will drop off my kids because its safer. - Amanda |
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I AGREE COLLEEN!
06/07/2007 09:20
Your article is really good. Wherever you go children are misbehaving (in shops, in streets, in schools). I'm so glad I don't have any kids these days! I really get worked up when I see them misbehaving. I was bought up to respect teachers, adults etc when I was at school in the seventies & eighties! We had morals & disipline & I'm so grateful to my parents for bringing us up like this although at the time it was hard but it turns a person into a good adult oneday! - lorna |
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Unruly Children
06/07/2007 09:20
Bravo! I am shocked at the behavior of not only the vast majority of children, but also of the parents who contribute to the creation of these ungrateful beings. I shudder to think of what the future holds with the kids growing into adults, running the world and perpetuating the cycle with their own children. What happened to heart,integrity & compassion being the most valauble characteristics of human beings? - Dana Prophet |
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Be careful
06/07/2007 09:21
Old advice: Be careful of your kids, they get to pick your old-age home and control your heart and lung machine..... - Jakes |
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children today.
06/07/2007 09:37
It is a given that times have changed and there are inherent dangers out there. The bottom line is that no matter what changes occur parents still have a responsibility to bring up balanced mannered compassionate children that mature into good "successful" parents. I would like to point out to Jason, who strikes me as a typical modern disrespectful kid described in the article, that success is a relative term and is not only referring to success in financial terms. This is exactly the problem. - Brad |
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kids kids kids
06/07/2007 09:38
the way your children turn out to be:lawyers,doctors,gangsters or politicians is dtermined by the way they are brought up.no one has ever heard of multi millionairs who didnt have morals installed in him by thier role models-make sure that role model is you, the parent - robin |
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Drop your rods
06/07/2007 09:40
Blaming a lack of corporal punishment for behaviour displays a lack of, or unwillingness to think. There are people who've been raised with no corporal punishment and were none of the things described in the article and there are those who were smacked regularly, but apparently to no avail. There are other ways to discipline children than the lazy expedient of hitting them. - C |
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LITTLE BRATS
06/07/2007 09:42
I fully agree with the article. The kids are brats today, and don't blame it on the parents!!! The kids know right from wrong, and they purposely doing everything wrong in today's life. SMACK THEM - Gavin |
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Wake up and smell the coffee
06/07/2007 09:43
Jason, ever watch the news? They arent harming anyone? How many school stabbings have we seen this year, how many scandals involving school children having sex in front of their class mates, drugs, theft, it goes on and on. Things that were unheard of 60 years ago, are now common practice for our youth of today. Your point about being successful is another pertinent point, as studies show that the youth of today, expect to earn high salaries from the get-go, not earn it like your parents have. - justine |
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Please tell our leaders
06/07/2007 09:47
The argument against corporal punishment is a silly one. Youre not allowed to beat a child because it can be abusive. Alcohol can be abused, but it is allowed. Weapons can be abused, but theyre allowed. Cars can be abused and theyre allowed... so disciplining your child should be allowed in the most loving and effective way possible. Unless the government is willing to take over the responsibility of disciplining them when theyre grown up. Punish the abusers of children, not the children! - Carl Kirstein |
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CHILDREN
06/07/2007 09:49
We also need to put everything in perspective. Times have changed, crime is horrific, we cannot send children out to play when they start whining about this and that, or send them around the neighbourhood to look for odd jobs to supplement their pocket money. Dont blame the children or the parents, blame everything that has contributed to the situation today. - El |
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Children of today
06/07/2007 09:50
Agree with Denise regarding Parent Input? However, discipline is not effective if it gets administered from outside; it comes from within, just as integrity and style. Never once did we discipline our 2 boys by hitting them or using any other kind of violence. Despite this fact,they were no problems as teenagers,worked hard to earn own pocket-money and are successfull on their road in achieving their goals and dreams,and .... are enjoying life as well adjusted young adults.UW - Colleen Figg |
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That's rich!
06/07/2007 09:57
All these old folks, sitting back and complaining about the kids of today. Pulling out the old 'when I was a lad ...' speach. Please! It is your fault we're sitting in this mess in SA at the moment, and all you can do is criticise the kids of today. Remeber that a 'kid' of about 18 has to face (and will probably fix) the problems of SA that all you old buggers left for him. If you really care, give him your house, because at this rate he'll probably never be able to afford one in his own country. - JustAkid! |
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Great Article!
06/07/2007 10:07
Weak, undisciplined adults should not breed! - Cindy |
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DOING IT FOR CHILDREN
06/07/2007 10:07
The "in my day" mantra is nothing new. Our new adult generation seems set on repeating the chorus. Chores away from home,walking to sport etc. are no longer options. The world is a cruel place created by us. Children get hurt. Badly. Stop belly aching and take responsiblity for the world we have created for them to live and grow up in. Encourage. Have empathy with the fact that our legacy is a place where they can die in a heart beat. We were no angels either. Ask your gran.
Lauren - Lauren |
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Discipline
06/07/2007 10:08
99% of the time we have problem PARENTS not problem children. If discipline, kind but strict, would be used from the outset, the world would be a better place. We all want our kids to have a better life than we had but do they have to be spoiled the way they are today? Few children seem to have more than a fleeting appreciation of anything - because they are given too much. Teach them respect and good manners, help them understand that there are many who are much worse off than what they are. - Another Denise |
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Absolutely true!
06/07/2007 10:16
Great article Colleen! But ultimately we as adults are to blame for turning our kids into spoiled brats. If you time, look at the American conservative writer Albert Brenner's essay 'The modern myth of childhood innocence' (google it). Keep it up Colleen! You are a clear voice of reason! - amanda |
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They ARE brats
06/07/2007 10:18
It is not about "I didn't have and therefore you may not have either". Neither is it just about blaming parent for raising ogres. But it is a fact like the sun rising in the east that today's children are "weak-willed, self-serving, materialistic, shallow, selfish, disrespectful, grabbing, forceful, money-orientated, ungrateful little beasts [on the whole]". It's true. And it's a shame. I don't think parent are to blame entirely. The role of the media, music etc. is phenominal. Well done, CFigg! - ex-teacher |
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Doing it for the children
06/07/2007 10:24
You ask what kind of society these children will create? Have you considered how badly the children of the last century turned out by being obedient good little subjects? Apartheid, Nazism, the cold war... What is wrong with paying for your children? What's wrong with people citing their rights in the classroom? They do have rights. - Xander |
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children??
06/07/2007 10:27
The recent law passed on children's rights is more shamefull for the parents who make the State opening these routes for children as parents are often not there for guidance while many other children do not have parents any longer. The children cannot always prevent from doing the wrong thing. Think how much guidance (and maybe the odd corrective smack) you were lucky enough to have received from adults in your life. - Benzo |
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KIDS
06/07/2007 10:30
I don't recall giving any government offical permission to decide if I may or may not give my child a smack if she's naughty. Do these government officials children listen to the "mommy does not like it when you shout in the shops 'cos you cant get a new toy", or the famous "go to your room to think about what you have done" speeches. I seriously doubt it. Our "children" are they way they are because our basic parental rights have been taken away. - Nicky |
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Our world
06/07/2007 10:31
I believe that today more than ever we should be standing on the sideline cheering our children on. It's far tougher, than when we were children.
We should be listening closer to them than ever. Because when we are not around, there are too many influences, media, cellphones, friends etc. I'm not saying keep them away from it, but we must be there to guide them - they are too young and too foolish to be trusted with such power and knowledge. - ILJ |
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Load of crap
06/07/2007 10:34
Really, nonsense articles like this are nothing new. Every generation laments how horrible their successors are, how ungrateful they are, how immoral they are, and on and on and on. It's just another version of the old "when I was young..." argument. In 19th century Britain, child gangs roamed the streets of London. Unruly children are nothing new, and every generation of parents think that their kids are the worst ever. It's silly to indulge in this sort of crap, really. - Michael |
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To Justakid
06/07/2007 10:47
Go play with your latest playstation, you dont know what you are talking about. Every generation has faced problems and challenges, and they have overcome them, but you and your peers love the fact that you can sit back and blame previous generations and make them provide for you. Go study a bit of economics before you make stupid statements about affordability of houses. The problems with kids today is not just a South African problem, it's also a problem in the States, Europe and the Far East. - Justine |
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Values
06/07/2007 10:47
As a society, we have attached "best" to mean "monetary best". So its the best schools, the best clothes, the best recreation (that money can buy). This private schools, designer clothes, play stations, cell phones, etc. thereby reinforcing the belief that if the parent has ensured the child's best (materia)interests, the parent is a good parent. Parents don't spend enough time with kids to teach them true values - caring, sharing, work ethics, social reponsibility. - Anya |
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PSYCHOPATHS IN SUITS
06/07/2007 10:49
That is what society is raising-and JustAKid and Jason, your attitudes raise serious questions.Recent studies in America show that the way kids are being raised-given everything on a plate without "earning" it, be it via gratitude, attitude or plain ol' getting a job- doesn't stimulate the development of a conscience and the "gimme, I want" ("give him your house"JustaKid!)mindset is raising a whole new generation of Psychopaths. 30% of kids tested showed these characteristics. Scary stuff! - jenny |
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Justakid
06/07/2007 10:51
Justakid, thank you for your valuable contribution to this debate, you have further cemented the argument that Colleen has put forward. You are a perfect example of the type of child that is being discussed in the column. The typical I want I Want attitude, and poor us, we have it so hard, so mom and dad has to buy everything for me. Good luck in the real world pal I can see you'll get far! - Tennille |
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Kids!!!!
06/07/2007 10:56
I am a mother of 3 (7,6 & 2 yrs of age)I am too afraid to let my kids play in their own backyard, let alone clean someone else's backyard to get money to buy something they desire. I would rather give them what they want and teach them about being thankful and grateful for what they are given.Colleen, YOU need to instill respect, gratefulness, kindness, caring, thankfulness, love in your kids. Our kids, if brought up right, should dictate society not the other way around. - Cher |
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KIDS
06/07/2007 10:57
I wouldn't say the kids are the problem. The PARENTS ARE. They think, among other issues, that they have to be their children's best friends. No one can be a best friend and a parent at the same time, it just doesn't work like that.Some parents priorities are upside down and they are just in a big competition with their circle of friends of who has what and when (including children). This is my opinion and yes I've got six children. - Nancy |
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Corporal Punishment
06/07/2007 11:05
Just a note on corporal punishment... it does not work. Research shows that children who are given corporal punishment behave far worse than those who are not. Children who receive corporal punishment are also far more likely to become violent as they get older. The old myth that hitting a child has any beneficial effect has been completely debunked by mounds upon mounds of scientific research. People will of course still believe in it despite the evidence... nice example for the kids. - Michael |
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Some of you miss the point
06/07/2007 11:10
I'm hoping Colleen isn't attacking parents who provide for their child.
I think that we can all agree that in todays environment children have different needs: involvement, transport and things.
Parents are obligated to provide for those needs, but a lot of parents are missing the opportunities to provide there children with adequate values that will enable them to be a productive part of society.
It's who you are that counts not what you have and we are raising children with the wrong focus. - rights and resposibility |
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Time & Money
06/07/2007 11:13
These days parents only want "the best" for their children. They don't want them to "suffer as we did". That's the problem: it's only the materialistic side of life that gets boosted. The message to all parents: "The best" = your time & attention, not money. I mean, that's the only way to transfer my values to my children. That's also the only way they can learn to trust me, and be "empowered" to say NO to drugs, premarital sex, etc. With the help of God. Parenting is not for sissies. - Time-daddy |
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Michael I hope you are not a parent!
06/07/2007 11:20
I think you are just being contrary. If you were a parent you wouldn't make this pointless statment. We have laws that say you can't discipline your child as it leads to abuse. But they don't prevent real abuse - see the case of little Micah Patterson. And discipline does not have to be physical, which only works to a point. I wish I could do it like my dad - we were ashamed to be the cause of his quiet disapproval and he always treated us like reasonable beings and with respect and love. - May |
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BRATS
06/07/2007 11:23
I couldn't agree with you more Colleen and I only have myself to blame. I have a son who I tried to please at every turn and just get abuse. - Beryl Sparks |
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Doing it for the children
06/07/2007 11:26
You may have some valid points, but should you be casting your harsh critisism over all children ? Some parents are unfortunately still raising weak, over respectful, over modest, narrow minded, under opinionated slaves. Who suffers more when they grow up ? - Karen |
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What about chores
06/07/2007 11:30
Kids should be taught morals, discipline, respect and all those other things from birth. Parents need to draw a line and stay within those parameters. This is the only way to teach kids. What will they learn if parents keep moving the goal posts? Yes, I spoil my children but they also have CHORES to do and on top of that if they want anything "extra" they have to earn the money to pay for it themselves. - Helga |
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Children
06/07/2007 11:31
I agree with you. I have a 6 year old and we are often complimented on her manners. We are strict parents and discipline her when necessary. We do not indulge her every whim but do attend her sports events and encourage her to do her best and praise her for her efforts. However, in her school class there are children who get whatever they want and who do not get disciplined in any way. These children are rude, obnoxious bullies who get away with it. They wil grow up to be Paris Hiltons - db |
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The good old days - what nonsense
06/07/2007 11:36
Let me tell you about the good old days. In those days the people often had ten children. Halve the time they did not even know where they children where, let alone what they where doing. The older children practically raised the younger ones. Of cause your uncle will tell you what nice children they where (he was after all one of them). Now ask them about their ?kattekwaad? as children, or the stupid and irresponsible things they did as teenagers. Look at the whole apartheid era, and tell me that they where angels. My children are also under the impression that I did everything right. ?I had good manners, respect for authority ?? Fact is, during my teenage years, my parents definitely did not always agree. It is easy to forget, because who do not want to forget their own mistakes? Every generation believe that they where somehow better than the next.
Teenagers will be teenagers. My dad was a psychologist. One day when I was just being a difficult teenager (bad manners, defying authority and everything), my dad read from his developmental psychology textbook. Apparently my development was still on track! The behaviour forms part of the necessary struggle for independence. Your children become angels again once they leave your house, get married and have children.
- ST |
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spoilt brats
06/07/2007 11:43
Spot on Colleen! I can add that they are also strong-willed only in as far it concerns themselves! Also imagine parents bying exorbitant-priced "necessities" for their children. - Eds |
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"Rascism"
06/07/2007 11:45
We're talking about children's bad behaviour in general, and again someone manages to drag rascism into the discussion. Oh yes, but Ans, sorry, I forgot, you're right, it's all the fault of apartheid. After all, when in Rome, do as the Romans. That's what children are doing now. We live in a country where the authorities are completely absolved from any form of accountability or punishment for bad decisions. And why should our children not pick this up? It's trickling down from all directions.. - Jan |
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