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Short-term, long-term
18/03/2008 13:43 - (SA)
David Moseley
They say in life you should try everything once - though some things, like tickling a lion as a British student attempted in Zimbabwe recently, are certainly best left untested.
That's the Brit's for you (specifically the English, a Scotsman would never be that stupid), they'll believe anything you say. "Stroke the nice lion, dear, he's awfully tame." That may be the case, but still, it's a lion. They're designed purely to scratch their balls and kill. And not always in that order.
Caressing captive lions aside, I thought I'd also try something new. Like having a goal. Or even having many goals. I've never been one to think too far ahead into the future, worrying what may or may not be lurking round the corner.
The last definitive goal I had was in standard eight when I decided that I'd like to work at Sports Illustrated. This was purely because I was terrible at maths and working for a sports magazine was one of the few jobs not present on the "Crap at maths? Say goodbye to 1001 jobs" poster in the guidance councillor's office.
Of course, this is also the man who threw a chalk duster at my head for sneezing too loudly in class, so his guidance probably wasn't always up to scratch.
So at the age of 16 I wanted to work at SI. I wrangled my way in there during and then after university and spent a great four-and-a-half years travelling the country and telling my boss (hi Andrew) exactly why his ideas weren't as good as mine - probably why he never made me editor.
That was the last time I ever said to myself "I want to do this" or "I need to do that" or "My aim is to do both".
Start young
Unlike, naturally, my good female friend Kerryn who had her life goals mapped out from the tender age of three.
Her list of life targets was quite something to behold: age five, plait hair. Age 10, surpass older family members as family moral compass. Age 18, arrive at varsity, find hopeless boy and guide him through degree (thanks for that), study forever and become worldly authority on art.
She's now a curator at the Tate Modern in London. But that's women for you; they always seem to have everything in order from the very fist time they tell you to stop picking your nose in the playground.
I'm not sure what kind of goals I'm meant to have at my age. I'd like to get married, say around the age of 32, but I think my reasoning for that is purely for the boozy party. Also, I believe you kind of need someone to be there with you at the time, so I'd have to find that first. Kids are cool. But when I play with my mates' kids I can give them back after 20 minutes, so maybe that's not something to aim for just yet.
Short term I'd like to not get mugged, murdered or mutilated. I'm doing well on that front thus far. Long term - aside from the usual "necessary to show ambition" work objectives or making billions and living a life of luxury and languor - a goal for the masses, surely - nothing really comes to mind.
For me, I think weekly it is. None of these grand five-year plans. I'll leave that to the Soviets.
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