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Be my virtual Valentine
13/02/2006 08:21 - (SA)
Paris - As smug couples cuddle up and secretly thank their lucky stars, even the most-determined singletons could be forgiven for wanting to curl up under their duvets to escape such saccharine sentimentality on Valentine's Day.
As lovers the world over prepare for a romantic candle-lit night on Tuesday February 14, millions of others have a different date - with their computer and the other lonely hearts searching for love on-line.
According to a recent study, 35 million people in Europe surf the net every month looking for Mr or Miss Right.
And it's a profitable business for the on-line dating agencies, which last year generated €88m in turnover in Europe alone - a figure which is set to more than triple to €352m by 2009.
Modern matchmaking
Match.com, the world's largest online dating agency which commissioned the study "Love Attitude in Europe" carried out in five European countries by the British institute The Future Laboratory, says every year interest soars round Valentine's Day.
And even though they still haven't managed to shake off their geeky "loser" image inherited from newspaper lonely hearts ads, match.com France's managing director Alexis de Belloy believes such sites are just a 21st century take on traditional matchmaking services.
Changing demographics and trends mean people are now getting married later and later, divorce rates are up and more people then ever are living alone - between 12 to 15 million just in France for example.
But about 86% of the 2 500 people surveyed for match.com still believe in finding the right person to share their lives.
Spoiled for choice
Looking for love in cyberspace offers a much bigger pool of potential partners than say a bar or nightclub, but also allows the surfer to refine his search according to his or her own criteria and to do so at any time of day, said de Belloy.
It seems many people agree with him. Last year 200 000 love affairs were sparked on match.com France - or one every two minutes.
For social anthropologist Kate Fox, the growing use of the internet is almost a return to the days of Jane Austen and good old-fashioned courtships carried out by correspondence.
But Fox, who works with the Oxford-based Social Issues Research Centre, advised would-be lovers not to put off for too long a face-to-face meeting otherwise "you don't know if the chemistry is there".
Anti-Valentines and celebrating singles
Amid all the hype around Valentine's day however, a backlash to the crass commercialism of the day is also growing on the web.
London-based cybernaut Meg Pickard dreamed up anti-Valentine's cards with her friend in 2001 and set up a website (www.meish.org/vd) the next year urging people "This year, don't say it with flowers: say it with bile."
Last year 100 000 people sent a free anti-Valentine's card selecting from such acerbic messages as "Valentine's Day Sucks" and "Boiled Bunny Anyone", and even surprising Pickard with her success.
"Personally I would rather receive flowers on a random Tuesday because someone loves me, or from a friend, then one rather sad and incredibly expensive rose on a day when someone feels like they are supposed to," she said, cheerfully admitting that even now she is happily married she still despises Valentine's Day.
It's a sentiment shared by Sanchita Saha, who last year set up thesocialservice.com for young London professionals aiming to meet new friends, but not necessarily looking for a partner.
"Every year when you see all the hearts and the flowers and the teddy bears, it just gets a bit nauseating really. It's slightly irritating," she said ahead of an anti-Valentine's party she has organised for some of her 1 900 members.
"This one night is only celebrated by couples so our view is why can't we celebrate being single? Why should couples have all the fun?"
- AFP
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South Africa
