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Yes 08/05/2008 12:47
You have one vote ..... - Voter |
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You have my vote... 08/05/2008 12:48
You have my vote...and my cat's! - Zee |
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Plagiarism! 08/05/2008 12:51
Dude! Your article's quite funny, but it is copyright infringement to take the ANC's constitution and rebrand it as your 'campaign manifesto' - Juan |
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Brilliant as always... 08/05/2008 12:52
Were it not for the sad fact that this is too TRUE, I would have fallen off my chair laughing.
Keep up the good humour... - Currently Disadvantaged |
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Ticket to Perth 08/05/2008 12:52
Please provide me with your address details so I send you your ticket to Perth. You can bet on me sending it via express mail. - Hero Nakamura |
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Brilliant 08/05/2008 12:53
Excellent humour while making some solid points. I would've gone with Dumbledore though. - Ash |
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YES 08/05/2008 12:54
You now have two votes. Check the ballats and results please! - deMoerin |
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..... 08/05/2008 12:55
Oh no, now I have that song from Cats running through my head. You still have my vote. - not a Andre Lloyd Webber fan |
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lol 08/05/2008 12:58
What a very funny piece. Thanks for the laugh hehehe... - Myth |
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Mmmmmmm 08/05/2008 12:58
A good lunch-time laugh.... Thanks - ss |
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Viva!! 08/05/2008 13:01
U have got my vote!! A very well written & funny piece. So sad "Hero Nakamura" can't see the funny side of it. On the other hand, maybe its not funny to him as he is himself a ANC supporter??!! - Werner |
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PAP 08/05/2008 13:02
You have my vote, as the DA dont seem to be doing much for me....... - cvz |
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BF for president 08/05/2008 13:02
Brandon, you forgot one very important point. What about fridges and washing machines falling from the sky? - Wow! |
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Funny, good points, but... 08/05/2008 13:03
Show me and the rest of the majority ONE opposition party that can CONVINCE us to vote for them - and we will! We all need change - better change. But at the moment, no one is convincing enough to the majority. - Athi |
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@ Hero 08/05/2008 13:03
Good point Juan. LOL. Don't bother Hero, mail very rarely finds the correct destiny these days, say no more. Feel free to hand deliver it along with your ballot paper with a cross next to the mugshot seen above. - John Camp |
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ROTFLMAO 08/05/2008 13:03
Brandon you are a funny guy - had a good giggle thx :o) - stack |
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I thort....you'd left our bonny shores! 08/05/2008 13:04
Hey must admit u are one opportunistic limelight-seeker. But remember to get FF+ and Solidarity on board as your campaign managers/team. But what about yr mickey-mouse party(DA), will they discipline you now that you wanna be an Independent? Also you forgot something...where is yr struggle credentials? You shud be able to manufacture something! - Cape Town Kid |
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election 08/05/2008 13:04
Could you promise to not fix our roads, not to employ qualified people to lead Eskom/ Telkom, employ more corrupt police officers, and increase the percentages paid to the "comrades" who work so hard during the "Mafia" style tendor negotiations which are making our country such a wonderful place to do business if you're honest!!! - Ham |
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Hero Nakamura 08/05/2008 13:05
...can you actually deny anything that has been written in that article? hmmm...if you bother to actually think about it, i'm sure you'll realise that you CANNOT! - D |
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Brandon for Pressie! 08/05/2008 13:11
A good chuckle to say the least! You have my vote dude! In fact you can have all 5 of them!
Now, off to the pub I go ... - Joe Public |
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Pick me!! 08/05/2008 13:13
Please pick me as one of your MP's when you get to Parly... Maybe as Min of Health. Im narrow-minded, dont care about sick babies, love garlic and can pish it up with the besht of em.... - Marko Bangshlang-elang |
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Cat's up! to Brandon and Hero (?Kolobe too?) 08/05/2008 13:15
Hero, please relax. There's no racism here, just satire. Few of us trust any politician.My white grandfather was one. You couldn't tell him any negative news. He would distort it for his own amusement and sit back and watch the huge family fight that followed. As a cat lover, Brandon has got my vote!Let's have a nice cat fight and a bowl of cream!The whiners can have cheap cat food, that's all they'll be able to afford in Oz, anyway! - Doc Lize |
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No way 08/05/2008 13:17
Despite good credentials you will unfortunately not be considered. Thing is, the fact that you are not a crook actually counts against you. If you do not know what a crook is we could reconsider. You need to prove incompetence Brandon Faber. Try less and achieve more! - Dries |
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Youth League 08/05/2008 13:18
Does your party have a Youth League - want to be the YL President, even thogh I am 37yrs. Also decided that I want to be an MP - need to find myself a little corner in parliment and keep a low profile for 5 years. Hopefully there will be an arms deal or 2 then. - Alvin |
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Finally! 08/05/2008 13:18
Finally someone worth while voting for! You have my vote. Hero Nakamura get a life, and a sense of humour. - AS |
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Here's my vote... 08/05/2008 13:18
that's what, five or six votes now? If you apply the Mugabe method for winning elections, you should now have enough to win by at least...oh, say...fourty two million or so votes. A walk in the park. - jonathan |
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Hey Hero Nakamura! 08/05/2008 13:19
Got anymore of those tickets to perth!? They are in short supply at the moment! If so, I'll take one! - nn |
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Hey Brandon 08/05/2008 13:20
Keen to buy some military hardware?Give me a call, I'll throw in a couple of luxury cars for you and your mates and family.Really big ones so that you all fit in.I hope your running partner is a fat cat I've got the perfect private jet for him.Don't be shy now,nobody has know. - psyocbabble |
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y do u joke about serious staff? 08/05/2008 13:20
these things are a true reflection of our country and u joke about! - KETSO |
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Funny Man Brandon 08/05/2008 13:22
A party leader with a sense of humour gets my vote particularly if he makes all the current scamsters in parliament go and live in the RDP houses in the townships WITHOUT R90,000,000 walls and bodyguards to protect him and his cronies on the grants they are not paying and take away their right to First World medical care and transport too. For at least the rest of their lives. - GailC |
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Beautiful!! 08/05/2008 13:22
Thanks Brandon.. really enjoyed your article! It's funny that all you had to do was copy our exisitng ANC policies etc to make all the users burst with laughter! Bush, Brown and peanuts probably come to our parliament for Sunday stand up comedy, and then even still get FREE bread and wine from Zuma!! - Grant |
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I will vot for you if? 08/05/2008 13:23
I will vote for you only if you employ as minister of foriegn affairs. I would like to travel the world, drink the best wine, try out the best women and all at tax payers expense. Oh, before I forget you would need to expand my entertainment allowance R 1,000,000.00 per month is not enough the ladies and drink is expensive in Europe. - Pangea |
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Mr Mistoffelees 08/05/2008 13:27
Sounded very much like Mr Mike Stofile the former vice president of SARU for a minute, so I was hesitant to give you my vote but after quick google I see he is a black cat so he gets my vote, but only cause he fills in the BEE quota requirement I issue for all my votes... - me |
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Addition to your Campaign Manifesto 08/05/2008 13:27
Brilliant article! LOL! How about adding something to your campaign manifesto: "We solemnly undertake to defend democracy and not to condone any autocratic ruler except when it applies to Zimbabwe or Robert Mugabe" - Cynical |
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Nice one, however 08/05/2008 13:27
I think making fun of a bad situation is an attempt of acceptance. Yet, reading all the usual ignorant idiots reponses namely Cape town twit and hero moron, one gets a dim picture of the future of the country. - Realist |
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4 votes here +1 08/05/2008 13:28
Our four cats will vote for you, purely based on your running mate, and I will vote for you... same reason! :) I want to be Minister of Finance, then I have access to the Treasure, and can play around with the interest rate... yeah! - Bob |
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While you so happily play the joker due to .. 08/05/2008 13:28
your inferiority complex, please keep God out of your jokes. You might just end up in a place in your life where you need Him. - marius |
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Grow Up please.... 08/05/2008 13:28
We are suppose to be solving important issues and all you do is crack jokes.People are dying and all you do is joke around with your nonsense...I guess thats why the world thinks that we are a joke of a contry... - Kolobe |
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Hero Nakamura 08/05/2008 13:30
You gonna use the money you got from the bribe and the luxury cars to buy that ticket for Perth? Maybe you'll be great for Brandons party. Love it Brandon!!! - Win |
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You got my vote too... 08/05/2008 13:30
Just one question - if you stick to your party's manifesto, how will I know when you are voted in and we have a change of government? A really good laugh. - Jann |
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Hau Comrade Brandon ... 08/05/2008 13:30
Are you sure you not in goverment already , I have seen those actions you metion above taking place on daily basis ... - charlie |
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KETSO?? 08/05/2008 13:33
You calling the members of Parliment serious STAFF??? I dont think they are buddy. This is funny STUFF!!! - deMoerin |
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Kolobe 08/05/2008 13:34
No Kolobe, the fact that everything Brandon jokes about, is based on actual facts. That is wht the world thinks we are a joke of a "cuntry" - Johann |
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We need to hear more from you Brandon. 08/05/2008 13:35
Hey Brandon. Great article! I would like to hear more from you, can you setup a group on Facebook? Your outlook on life really puts things into perspective for me. People keep telling me I am negative, but from the posts I see here, I am part of a growing number of people that think this Country is history. - Ryan |
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Marius 08/05/2008 13:36
That place in Brandons life is now like all of us including JZ.What you're saying is we only need God when we're desperate.It seems that way now in SA does'nt it? - Only God Knows |
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Funny Stuff 08/05/2008 13:37
You have highlighted most of the social ills and the corrupt officials in govenment. Wee done. Can't stop laughing. I wonder what Kolobe is thinking right now. - Concerned |
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KOLOBE??? 08/05/2008 13:37
I was waiting for your banter and wasnt dissapointed. Yes lets all follow in you actions and positive thinking. You seem to have an answer for everthing. Get a life please!!! - deMoerin |
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How can we trust you 08/05/2008 13:38
After thinking about this, how do I know that if I vote for you, you won't get a conscience? I am worried that you may display honesty and integrity. If you do that before long you may even have a backbone. That would make Thabo & kolobetjie very unhappy. - Dries |
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Kolobe 08/05/2008 13:38
No mate...they think we are a joke of a country because of people like YOU..... - SC |
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Why is it? 08/05/2008 13:39
That black people do not have a sense of humor? Lighten up people. A joke is a joke. South Africans like to joke about stuff that is worrying. - WhiteGuy |
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Grow up please-Kolobe 08/05/2008 13:41
Nothing wrong with cracking a joke bud. The world thinks we are a joke because of the governments policies and actions...(non action in Zims case)
Lastly, the people vote and now the government rule..not govern, they rule. If you want change, change your vote!! - Boerseun |
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kolobe- actually the reason the world thinks sa is a joke 08/05/2008 13:43
is that our impotent president refuses to denounce the actions of the murderous scum that operates with impunity on our doorstep. read any article by an international paper or magazine on this topic and you will see this is the worlds viewpoint. - grant |
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he he 08/05/2008 13:43
well what you are proposing is not much different to what is currently happening....The New South Africa - aka - Zimbabwe-South. - Mike |
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Funny stuff 08/05/2008 13:44
Well written Brandon!Kolobe we the people are the bigger joke.Cant you hear the ANC fatcats laughing.if you say you are for the people enough times it doesnt say in reality it comes true.Only the sugerplum fairy can make that happen. - Shaun |
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@ Kolobe 08/05/2008 13:44
Actually, the world doesnt need Brandon's help to think we are a joke of a country. Our lovely government does a very good job of convincing them all by themselves.... - DW |
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Another vote for you 08/05/2008 13:44
Loved it Brandon! Only one thing though, can I apply to join the Youth League? I am going to turn 60 next year? - carol |
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Want a place 08/05/2008 13:46
either on the parli or on the plane does not matter.
You got my vote.
At all the other people that take this article seriously please lighten up. You can only open news 24 and see rape murder and corruption. Wre need humour sometime just to dampen the crisis. Thats the problem these day we cant laugh at ourselves anymore. - AcidO |
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Brandon, I am sure... 08/05/2008 13:46
That u dont need me to say, excellent humour,but there i have said it anyway.CAPE TOWN kid, what the hell are u on about.Think u should go away and come back when u r a CAPE TOWN MAN, maybe then u will understand whats going on...Kolobe, if we r not laughing, we r crying.I would rather laugh at the mess we r in than cry about it.. - nWo |
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Kolobe 08/05/2008 13:48
You said, the world does think SA is a joke of a country ;) By the way, the previous article regarding rapists was a serious issue, but you and friends could only argue about politics and Jacob Zuma. But now, you want to be serious. Brandon, well done and very funny but true !!! - dhv |
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@kolobe 08/05/2008 13:49
So, Kolobe... do you really think we will solve problems from postings we do on MyNews24??? Ag PLEASE... your ass-president don't even respond to petitions sent to him that's signed by thousands of people. - jax |
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Mr Editor 08/05/2008 13:50
Is this piece of S###% GOING TO WIN MONEY!!!! - Tomas |
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Room for reverend Frank in the Cabinet 08/05/2008 13:52
You've got another vote as long as you promise to appoint Rev. Frank Chikane as Minister of Values and integrity. He has proven his ability to lie over the last day or so and richly deserves the recognition.
As for Kolobe and Hero, wake up to the truth and stop listening to the liars you are following so blindly and obediently.
http://blogspace.mweb.co.za/site/alias__Geoann/58821/default.aspx - George A |
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Kolobe's right! 08/05/2008 13:53
Hey come on guys! Kolobe's right!
We should stop joking around and focus on the 'important' issues. Like buying submarines, and curing aids with garlic! - Juan |
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ha ha.... 08/05/2008 13:53
its a funny article good humor ha ha..but in some country i used to know called suid afrika. in the 50's-80's u could be touched or killed for writting an article like this be gratefull that you can write what you like and still not called a terorist..... - vladimar |
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Vote for me "Opposition party" 08/05/2008 13:54
I will just sit on my fat ass and do nothing else but increase tax. The FAP (FAT ASS PARTY) - snoopy |
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Joking around... 08/05/2008 13:55
Thats fine people can crack up jokes and laugh untill their asses move to their heads but at the end of it all...we the realist considers the amount of work we still have to accomplish for this country and it is not a joke..we have serious challenges that needs to be addresed and people joke around...Jokes hehehe very funny...Jokes..Smoking is not good because it makes people to laugh unnesserarily.... - Kolobe |
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Brandon 08/05/2008 13:57
Well you may not be a crook, but you're not black either so this is sadly just a pipe dream .... - Darkie |
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Kolobe Wake Up! 08/05/2008 14:00
Kolobe you have got it all wrong - the rest of the world thinks we are a joke because points raised in this article are true! Laughter is the best medicine - you should try it sometime! - anon |
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Ketso 08/05/2008 14:04
The government are the laughing stock of the country....so we just applauding their stupidity. You and Kolobe can start up your own party....maybe call it the ANCYL! - Win |
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BEE 08/05/2008 14:05
Sucks to be you BF, how BEE are you? Probably not enough of those dodgy voortrekker genes that intermixed in the 1700's. So although on paper you are qualified enough, in reality you are too luminous. Sorry mate :):):):) - whitey |
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Kolobe & kie 08/05/2008 14:05
Kolobe the world doesn't THINK we are a joke of a country, they KNOW we are a joke of a country. - cvz |
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What the heck? 08/05/2008 14:06
Who wrote that Manifesto, sounds like those morons in the FFP. Stop playing around with politics boy unless you want to burn your little fingers, you can play with your nuts but not politics; Go and Play in the sand or at the back of your grandpa's TOYOTA Hi-Lux you little twit. - Luzuko |
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and Trash our street......... 08/05/2008 14:06
also remember to promise that when you are not happy with your employer, you will get the workers to demonstrate by trashing the streets with garbage, damage property, just to be "vocal" - viva SA! - Hein |
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Kolobe 08/05/2008 14:08
Buddy, shush. You keeping digging your hole deeper... There is a lot of rebuilding to do. but it has not started yet. The importance of self glorifying in governnent officials take priority to important things like rebuilding! - Johann |
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Corrupt and Gov, NOT to used by whites in one Sentence 08/05/2008 14:08
Brandon please, in future refrain from using the word corrupt and Gov in one sentece. apartheid was the biggest curruption against Black people for 400 hundred years. I do not remember brandon and his ancestors writting such articles about that regime. So shut it... - Hero Nakamura |
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Nice one Moose!!!! 08/05/2008 14:08
Well said Moose ma boy. I am sure you can get Black Cat peanut butter to sponsor your campaign, as they are of the correct colour. Ooops, did I say that out loud.... - JoJo |
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Will vote for you only if...... 08/05/2008 14:09
You add pizza to your health departments cure for aids!!! - Martin |
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thief 08/05/2008 14:09
Brandon you stole my granfather P.W Bothas campaign, now i wont use it anymore in future, i am crying now - boykie |
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Banana Republic 08/05/2008 14:10
Will you introduce a Billion Rand Bill with Bananas instead of the lion's head? - JB |
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WhiteGuy 08/05/2008 14:10
please do not generalise your point - masingita |
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Its dry but you can drink it... 08/05/2008 14:10
This will make a good savanna dry advert - Luzuko |
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We do not vote for President 08/05/2008 14:11
Even if you had your own party, I would not be interested, unless you had your own religion - Lvh |
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You've my vote 08/05/2008 14:11
Generally I dont vote. I sit wait for others to vote while I enjoy a braai and 'cohol at home, then bitch about the stupid government... but for you BF, you got my vote - Apathetic |
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28 years in power 08/05/2008 14:11
Brandon, you will probably stay in power for 28 years a la Mad Bob. Kolobe, Ketso & hero should make good cabinet ministers. Heard Mugabe is going to coach the Lions next year so they won't have to reveal their score after a game. - Filemon |
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We do not vote for President 08/05/2008 14:12
Even if you had your own party, I would not be interested, unless you had your own religion - Lvh |
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Banana Republic 08/05/2008 14:13
Will you introduce a Billion Rand Bill with Bananas instead of the lion's head? - JB |
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@Kolobe 08/05/2008 14:14
Why are you always so grumpy? Those chips on your shoulders must be irritating you. Which important issues exactly are you solving. None of us are solving anything, we are just discussing, venting or having a laugh. If we all had to cry everytime somebody was killed or raped in this country we would be one miserable nation. We have to laugh to try and keep ourselves sane. Laughter is the best medicine and this nation needs it.Thanks Dr Brandon for my dose, it will keep me going just for today.... - Karen |
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Not funny? 08/05/2008 14:14
To everybody that thinks Brandon is only trying to be funny, I have some awful news for you. This is what is called IRONY. It's actually based on what is really happening here. Now go laugh your asses off, idiots. I was going to mention black humor too, but I don't think everybody gets that one... well written, Brandon! I'll vote for you! - Barb |
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@Tomas 08/05/2008 14:15
Well, if the editor won't pay him for this, I'm sure a lot of people reading this will be willing to make contributions. There's no price-tag on good humour and brilliance - Danny |
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@Kolobe 08/05/2008 14:15
Kolobe, you pretty much sum up everything that I have against your brothers ... the asshole is you.
oistar - oistar |
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Kolobe AGAIN 08/05/2008 14:15
Hey "chief" i make that two days of bashing for you. I recall you saying something about being an ugly duckling? NOW please put the cross next to the mugshot seen above and leave the room. - John Camp |
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Why is it also? 08/05/2008 14:16
that certain people (please note my lack of racial bias here) can dance, smile, laugh, clap, thoi-thoi, etc.. about serious issues like rapists, money, "Jacob Zuma", yet cannot even crack a smile for a well-written funny article? Makes one question their priorities. - AlsoWhite |
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Kolobe 08/05/2008 14:18
You are my hero !! I wish I could be more like you. You are the future! You have vision beyond your years. You are a true visionary. You are destined for glory. May the force be with you. Get a &$?? life dude !!
- mike |
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To Kolobe 08/05/2008 14:18
You seem to comment on every single article published on News24, and not once, but a number of times. I would really like to have your job, because it seems that you spend your whole day on the internet! - Anon |
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@TOMAS 08/05/2008 14:20
YES HE IS!!!!!!!!!!! ha ha ha ha haaaa!!!!! loser - Werner de Villiers |
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Ok people no more laughing 08/05/2008 14:20
Kolobe has spoken. We should not laugh or joke or have any fun at all until all the problems of the world have been solved. Until then....serious faces everybody - no laughing allowed. Smoking makes people laugh unnecessarily??? Pass the dutchie on the left hand side hahahahahahaha - Karen |
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Sense of Humour 08/05/2008 14:21
Geez, if people find this humourous, this could explain why Afrikaners were thought to lack a sense of humour. Its seems now they will laugh at even poor attempts at satire. Oh well, one has to congratulate the attempt at being funny at the expense of others. Afterall, satirists hardly ever laugh at their own faults, choosing rather to laugh at others. - L |
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Oh come on !!! 08/05/2008 14:21
Come on peeps, Brandon has highlighted some valid points albeit tongue in cheek... Well done Brandon , thanks for making me smile ... you have my vote !!!LOL - Chopstick |
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Humour 08/05/2008 14:22
Yes we do need to laugh more often to reduce Wrinkles and regain some of the positive attitude we still have. also note this some people cannot find a joke in some of the articles written, and that does not make them bad people. Laughter attracts joy, releases negativity, and leads to miraculous cures...do not hate comedians - masingita |
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I will only 08/05/2008 14:25
vote for you if you make Jon Qwelane head of news at the SABC. - Ag please Brandon |
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Hero and Ketso 08/05/2008 14:28
Hi Hero and Ketso. Lighten up. Lot's of people in our country use humour to handle situations in our country. There is no real other way because fighting it is as good as running into a brick wall. Hero if you can't see through the race barrier like most of us then I feel sorry for you and other people like you. There is no future for people like you in our country. Maybe you should buy yourself a one way ticket to Zim. Your mentality fits in there. If you don't like that option then lighten up. - xWilus |
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You 'aint black... 08/05/2008 14:29
Damn! The world would be a better place if you were King. Maybe you could use the word "promise" in a way never before tried. My ingrish is improvesing!
HE HE. - King of France |
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Great "manifesto" 08/05/2008 14:29
Hi all. None of the nay sayers have said anything yet to defend the government. All they seem to be able to do is tell us humorous folk to get serious, we have a lot of work to do. Matbe what scares them so is that fact that it is all true!! - chillepeppa |
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Hero Nakamura 08/05/2008 14:29
May I also have a ticket please? - Morny |
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Mr President.... 08/05/2008 14:31
I shall vote for you because I can see that you are an honest guy. Your perception of the task at hand is very clear and your challenge will be to ensure that you have enough money in the medium to long term to continue to feed the gravy train. If you fail in this task, you will be suspended and possibly dismissed. Good Luck! - Stormin |
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hahahaha!!!!! 08/05/2008 14:38
True and straight to the point,you don't only speak your mind but I see you know what you are talking about and this country, I was laughing my ass off - me |
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country. 08/05/2008 14:42
As they say: A King lives in a kingdom, an emperor live in an empire. Now we know why we live in a country. - shiznit |
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Vladimir 08/05/2008 14:46
At least when they beat you up you know they're listening. At the moment they lie, steal and cheat and don't give a damn what anybody says.
http://blogspace.mweb.co.za/site/alias__Geoann/58821/default.aspx - George A |
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