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YOUR STORY
'Hope to kill you sometime'
30/06/2008 11:13  - (SA)  

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  • Brandon Faber, News24 User

    "Remember that being a halfwit does not make you witty..." said NEWS24.com user and commenter extraordinaire, Cameron, regarding my previous efforts at brining you the News on E.

    His sentiments were echoed by the usual suspects with the usual playful banter. Writing tips aplenty, questioning of my intelligence, motives and such - all the ingredients required for a pretty stock-standard day in the world of online media, really.

    It is good to know that the more things change and degenerate into a farcical existence based on nothing more than blind beliefs that there's nothing wrong - the more the comments and critique remain the same.

    Well I'm all for consistency, so, let's get to it:

    Last week the men and women in blue took to shooting at each other and over the heads of diving motorists as our police services demonstrated all the qualities that make them such respected forces of law and order. The good news is that all those happy-triggered-souls are still walking the streets, extorting bribes from foreigners, blowing up stuff and generally behaving in accordance to the marvelous example set to them by mafia-man Jackie and our Uncle in the mismanagement business, Robert.

    I'm inclined to say something along the lines of "the fish rotting from the top" but I suppose that would illicit some ferocious tirade from the perennially pedantic - so I won't go there.

    Moving swiftly along like waning foreign investment, I see the brats of the ANCYL echoed the statement of their fearless leader by chanting "shoot to kill" at their second attempt at a conference this weekend. I find their choice of venue rather apt because, frankly, Nasrec is a long-standing cesspool of mediocrity where only Verimark salespeople and those purchasing their wares should go.

    Putting out flames

    702 Talk Radio reports that those tasked to put out the flames every time the League-for-political-elders-with-no-hope-in-hell-of-ever-making-a-positive-contribution-to-anything have a meeting, wants us to believe that "shoot to kill" is a term of endearment and not, in fact, a political statement.

    Well that's good news because I believe any phrase with the word "kill" in it should be seen as nothing but a friendly greeting. I think we should adopt this way of acknowledging each other - at least it will be closer to the truth than the usual tasteless serving of politically correct "good morning, how are yous" masking our feelings of true camaraderie towards each other.

    In closing I am delighted to report that French matador, Sebastien Castella, is spending some quality time in hospital after being gored in the leg by a bull - uncomfortable with the idea of being slaughtered for other's amusement. Hopefully a few more will perish at the horns of the hoofed and will this barbaric sport finally be banished from the face of the earth.

    Yes people, just because something is labelled "tradition" it doesn't mean it is acceptable practice in the modern world. Tradition should never overrule common sense, common decency and respectful behaviour.

    On that high note I bid you farewell, hope to kill you sometime.

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      Me too
    30/06/2008 11:24
    Brandon, this is awesome... I wonder what kinda response this would provoke seeing that there are clowns in every crowd, even semi-intelligent ones :) - Francois
     
      Hmm...
    30/06/2008 11:29
    Spot on. Bull 1 - Man 0. - The Burning Question
     
      Tradition
    30/06/2008 11:33
    Good one Brandon, ah tradition, the excuse used so often these days for bad behaviour - Loved the opening paragraph hehehheee x - LH
     
      Excellent as always
    30/06/2008 11:33
    Seems David Bullard has left a gap in the market. Excellent as always Brandon. - Johno
     
      Nice one...
    30/06/2008 11:33
    Thank you Brandon for that...put a smile on my face on a Monday morning...it seems the truth hurts, and all those that have something negative to say to you are obviously smarting quite a bit...shame...poor noonoos... - Jimbo
     
      Tradition
    30/06/2008 11:35
    Good one Brandon, ah tradition, the excuse used so often these days for bad behaviour - Loved the opening paragraph hehehheee x - LH
     
      A good kill to you as well!
    30/06/2008 11:39
    Marvellous story! Don't forget that when the "powers that be" spit out a statement that gets people hot and bothered (the wrong way I might add), the traditional way out of it is either 1. I was misquoted or 2. It was taken out of context. Hooray for tradition, it seems to work for this current regime of ineptitude. - Metallica Man
     
      Ha ha
    30/06/2008 11:44
    Have a shoot to kill day. - veritas
     
      I hope to kill you too Brandon
    30/06/2008 11:45
    Good read made me laugh,and the subject got all the sarcasm it deserved.These clowns from ANCYL are just that and whoever takes them seriously is as big an idiot as those running the freak show. Poor SA, the average citizen has got such heart and motivation to make this country work and these idiots do what ever they can to discredit our work. SHAME ON THEM - Gary Clark
     
      Not tradition...
    30/06/2008 11:47
    The statements uttered by the president of the ANCYL and comrade Zwelinzima Vavi were taken out of context. and never did any of the two cite tradition nor did the quoted killing statements as part of the tradition of any movement, the statements meant that JZ was voted in by the delegates gathered in polokwane, and therefore he should be constitutional voted in as the president of S.A?then the two comrades are willing to lay down their lives in protection of JZ?s rights and aspirations to lead this country. - Kolobe
     
      Kill you too...
    30/06/2008 11:47
    Mikey Likey! That was a good piece...just too short. I know a couple of people (and you might be one of them) that have got out of a night in the chookie because of a couple of bucks exchanging hands. Nice to kill you. - King of France
     
      Always, my favourite read.
    30/06/2008 11:50
    I have such an abhoration for bullfighting, there are no words to describe the horror I feel, and hatred for the bullfighters and the mad, screaming people on the stands. I wish that one day the tables could be turned a the same be measured out to some or other bullfighter. It was with much laughter and enjoyment that I watched the Metro Cops jumping up and down making utter fools of themselves and their responsibilities.Have to say this..the ones on TV were all fat and black.If the shoe fits.. - Alicia
     
      Tradition ...
    30/06/2008 11:58
    This could be one of our traditional sayings along with "kill the Farmer, Kill the Boer". I wonder if "Kill the Domestic, Kill the Gardener" will ever crack the nod? - Mike Hunt
     
      thanks for inventing this
    30/06/2008 11:59
    see you around mate, and happy killing to you too. what a wonderful greeting. - new salutation
     
      Good one
    30/06/2008 12:05
    Good one Brandon, enjoyed reading it ... - Justin
     
      Brandon
    30/06/2008 12:07
    I smaak you stukkend.... put a smile on my face and now I am ready for the week - SC
     
      ZZZZzzzzzz......
    30/06/2008 12:08
    Dont give up your day job Brandon Fraser. Your scribble is mediocre at best. - Gus
     
      Brandon Faber = ANC politacian
    30/06/2008 12:14
    "I'm inclined to say something along the lines of "the fish rotting from the top" but I suppose that would illicit some ferocious tirade from the perennially pedantic - so I won't go there." Saying something by saying that you are not saying it remindes of a number of current goverment officials manner of saying and then dening the same thing. I suspect that you are a politician. Why do I still feel inclined to vote for you? Looking forward to your next statement :-) - RobotFood
     
      Well Said Brandon
    30/06/2008 12:18
    I hope you sent a copy to Mugabe as he should be settled into he's new office by now . - charlie
     
      Don't worry Brandon
    30/06/2008 12:23
    They always say the empty barrel rattles the most. So many on here hide behind the cloak of anonymity, and make bold statements. At least you put your name (and face) out there and shoot from the hip. I enjoy your pieces, keep at it. - TruthBeTold
     
      Kolobe...my friend,
    30/06/2008 12:29
    I did not suggest that the ANCYL used "tradition" as an excuse in this instance. I was referring to the bullfight (directly) and to other past local issues (indirectly). Carry on umfundisi. - Brandon
     
      Context..
    30/06/2008 12:49
    It's amazing how every totally STUPID and IRRESPONSIBLE statement made by our so-called leaders are proclaimed to be "taken out of context" when the poo hits the fan. Perhaps then they should learn to make statements that are clear and unambiguous so that the vast majority of us "plebs" do not misunderstand the "context" of these statements. - KimPossible
     
      ROTFLMAO
    30/06/2008 12:52
    Excellent Brandon! I love reading your stuff. Keep it up. - Su
     
      @Gus
    30/06/2008 12:57
    Whilst you suggest that Brandon not give up his dame time job, i'd like to suggest that you do and return to school where they teach you how to READ and write. For the record Brandon Fraser is not a columnist on this site, we do however have a really good one called Brandon Faber. Zzzzzzzz! - John Camp
     
      Hope to kill you sometime
    30/06/2008 12:58
    Politicians say stupid, unintelligent things most of the time because they are unintelligent, this is not limited to SA politicians, just look at George W Bush! Nowadays I just have a good laugh when I hear politicians spew rubbish out of their mouths. - tiddlywinks
     
      Disrespect
    30/06/2008 13:04
    As always, the problem with tradition bashers is that they never ever bother to learn about other people's beliefs & cultures. Seemingly and very arrogantly I may add, only theirs are the only acceptable, humane & "civilised" practises that I suppose we are all supposed to emulate. In my langauge, this is called disrespect. It is of course not surprising that this typical moaner is of the white variety in SA. - Ngwato
     
      Very true - be quiet Kolobe
    30/06/2008 13:12
    Very good column - just what I needed to start off my week with a smile! Will someone please take away Kolobe's internet access...? His comments are getting old. - L
     
      Always an idiot amongst us
    30/06/2008 13:13
    Yes, Gus, I am refering to you. Great article, Brandon, keep it up! - Werner
     
      bullfighting
    30/06/2008 13:19
    Seeing you mention it with such vehemence I must comment on your bullfighting remarks. Think of it, that bull spent years growing to magnificent maturity free as a bird in the fields, then at the height of its prime it fights to the death as many of our own wild antelopes do. It even has a chance of goring its tormentor. Compare that to your ox fattened for slaughter, pumped full of hormones and whatnots, ultimately to face bloody death in an abattoir. What's the diff? - taurus
     
      Brandon
    30/06/2008 13:20
    Great article, my favorite line "Moving swiftly along like waning foreign investment". - Rian
     
      @Kolobe
    30/06/2008 13:22
    btw, that's "EMPHATIC utterances"... not just "utterances" oh and PS: this is sarcasm :) i think that ancyl prez should rather be laying down his life for general principles, like freedom and so forth... and not specific individuals. - js
     
      9 times out of 10
    30/06/2008 13:31
    Well not what I give your article, it actually reached a 10/10. What I am refering to is that 9 times out of 10 a black reader will defend their "Leaders" dumbness and just not get it! Why can't you be sensible and for one day not be blindfolded Kolobe? - JB
     
      John Camp
    30/06/2008 13:31
    You tell people to go back to school to learn how to read and write but you also writting rubish here. What is dame job you moron? - Victor
     
      Great Article
    30/06/2008 13:32
    I liked it! - T dawg
     
      Ngwato
    30/06/2008 13:38
    Brandon is slamming the bullfighting tradition, not because it's tradition but because it's cruel to animals. Now according to Ngwato, Brandon only hates bullfights because he's white. Sometimes I dont know... - Liz
     
      @Ngwato
    30/06/2008 13:38
    The author gave a very specific example of a tradition he finds to be unforgivable. I suspect that you'll find many that agree. Nad his point that not all tradition is acceptable is entirely true. Personally, I find the "tradition" of selling ones daughter into subjugation unacceptable. That and many other "traditions". - mallencolly
     
      @Ngwato (Disrespect)
    30/06/2008 13:44
    Then I'm glad I'm not part of your humane and civilised culture....where your leaders drink and run around without clothes while shouting they'll kill people! - Cabbo
     
      Showing your true colour again, Kolobe
    30/06/2008 13:44
    Kolobe, right on man. carry on with your negative comments and soon you'll get what you deserve. - oistar
     
      Right on
    30/06/2008 13:46
    And Brandon. My sentaments exactly. - Manana
     
      Well said :) (and some thoughts to Taurus, Kolobe and Ngwato)
    30/06/2008 13:57
    Most amusing article, Brandon. Refusing to take the flak for saying irresponsible things is fast becoming a tradition amongst our leaders. Taurus, you are terribly deluded about what the lives of animals in industry are like. How about not killing said magnificent animal? Kolobe, one would think that the leader of the ANCYL may be willing to lay down his life for freedom, but for a "leader" under investigation for fraud? Eish. Ngwato, whiteys also have traditions. And some of those are crap too - EvylShnukums
     
      Ngwato
    30/06/2008 14:09
    With the advancement of culture, morals and humanity many of our so-called "traditions" have fallen away over time. If we weren't prepared to forego many of these traditions we would all still be seen as barbarians. Every culture has had to make sacrifices as far as traditions are concerned but there are still many traditions that are still respected. I think our problem in South Africa, and elsewhere, is that there are very few honourable men left. People have and always will suffer from man?s inhumanity to man. Only when we can respect each other and each other?s property will we ever be able to live in harmony. All the racist talk on this forum only fuels the fire of intolerance. - Colleen
     
         
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