Is it just me, or is Zuma’s term taking forever?

2015-06-23 08:08
Paddy Harper

Paddy Harper

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Thursday. It’s TM1’s birthday. TM1’s Thabo Mbeki to you. TM1’s the cat who used to be the commander in chief and president of the republic.

TM1, we’re told, is spending his birthday mediating in Sudan. Which is kind of ironic, given the kid gloves treatment his successor, TWGG (Thixo wase George Goch, or Jacob Zuma to you) has given to a certain Sudanese gentleman who mysteriously flew out of Air Force Base Waterkloof while nobody was watching a week ago.

That can’t be much fun, but at least he’s already had a public apology from Zwelinzima Vavi for backing the TWGG all those centuries ago during his run for the ANC presidency at Polokwane.

Is it only me, or does the past presidential term and a half seem like it’s taking forever?

But as kak a time as TM1 may have been having up north – with the lack of amber liquids and all that – his day can’t have been anywhere as bad as TWGG’s was in Parliament this week.

TWGG only has himself to blame, though. His performance ahead of the release of the Nkandla report by Police Minister Nathi Nhleko was always going to cause a backlash. TWGG made it pretty obvious that he had seen his lackey’s report before the rest of us, that he wasn’t going to pay anything back and he couldn’t resist the desire to ham it up and rub it in. Big flop.

Back to Thursday. TWGG’s already got that look on his face, like he can smell s**t, as question time starts and the Point of Order Brigade gets stuck in. The rolling eyes and mocking hand gestures are nowhere to be seen. There’s only the stony visage, the half-closed nostrils.

There’s no way in hell the Red Berets are gonna allow the sanitised Freedom Charter questions from the ANC benches to be asked until TWGG pays the price for his Trevor Noah impersonation. Not everybody digs hostel humour, I guess.

Baleka Mbete and Stoned Sizani do their bit to try to protect their boss. They fail. Badly. Mbete forgets that she’s not chairing the ANC national executive committee. Sizani forgets that the would-be commander in chief, Julius Malema, is no longer in the ANC. Malema whips Sizani’s ass. Mbete closes shop for the day. Parliament’s in gridlock. Again.

There’s only one way out of this mess. TWGG’s got cash. It’s not like he’s unemployed. Like TM1.

TWGG needs to do the right thing. Whip out the presidential piggy bank and pay back the money.

Please.

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