Mahlobo, the Ling Ling twins, the wipeout

2016-11-20 00:00
David Mahlobo

David Mahlobo

Multimedia   ·   User Galleries   ·   News in Pictures Send us your pictures  ·  Send us your stories

Thursday. The tide is full, so Durban’s North Beach is a slither of glittering black sand that’s already warm underfoot at quarter past six in the morning.

I’d been driven out of bed an hour before by the heat and a rather lurid nightmare involving Minister of Manicures David Mahlobo and the Ling Ling twins, and felt somehow grubby and in need of cleansing, so all roads led to the Indian Ocean.

Mahlobo’s a creepy cat, and a gropey one at that, but at least he’s proved my man JahNoDead wrong when he reckoned Ongoye University’s finest son couldn’t organise a handjob in a whorehouse.

Clearly he can, if the gallery of pictures of Mister T letting his hands wander all over the assets of a series of Oriental honeys that have emerged on social media and elsewhere are for real. What a muppet.

My body gives a last little involuntary shudder at the thought of Dirty Dave and his Disgusting Digits, and I focus on the ocean. I have no sense of balance, so bodysurfing is my thing.

The ocean’s glassy, with a few surfers already at backline to the right of the pier.

There’s a perfect body wave at mid-break, hollow and slow and peeling. I let the current take me and in seconds I’m up on my first wave and I’m airborne.

It’s one of those mornings when there’s no effort in getting a rhythm going. It’s being in the right place at the right moment and taking the drop. It’s beautiful and terrifying at the same time.

You’re weightless. There’s this massive force of water that’s bearing down on you. You’re powerless to stop it. If you stay, it will drown you.

The natural reaction is to curl into a ball or try to go under. Instead you stretch your body and let it take you. Your heart is in our mouth and you’re flying, and for those seconds you’re part of that power.

I take a lovely big one. I’m glued to the face of the wave. There’s this beautiful curtain of water as the lip of the wave barrels over me. I’m screaming with joy and tasting salt water, kicking for speed and I make it.

I let the wave take me all the way to shore. I get to my feet and stumble up the beach. I’m out of breath, my muscles ache and I’m ready for a shower.

I hit the showers. They’re dry. So are the three at the southern end of the beach.

Follow me on Twitter @PaddyHarper1

Read more on:    david mahlobo

Join the conversation!

24.com encourages commentary submitted via MyNews24. Contributions of 200 words or more will be considered for publication.

We reserve editorial discretion to decide what will be published.
Read our comments policy for guidelines on contributions.
NEXT ON NEWS24X

Inside News24

 
/News

Book flights

Compare, Book, Fly

Traffic Alerts
There are new stories on the homepage. Click here to see them.
 
English
Afrikaans
isiZulu

Hello 

Create Profile

Creating your profile will enable you to submit photos and stories to get published on News24.


Please provide a username for your profile page:

This username must be unique, cannot be edited and will be used in the URL to your profile page across the entire 24.com network.

Settings

Location Settings

News24 allows you to edit the display of certain components based on a location. If you wish to personalise the page based on your preferences, please select a location for each component and click "Submit" in order for the changes to take affect.




Facebook Sign-In

Hi News addict,

Join the News24 Community to be involved in breaking the news.

Log in with Facebook to comment and personalise news, weather and listings.