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LAST week I teamed up with the office He-Man to bring you some "important" tips on how to pick up, impress and keep your man.

In all honesty, it failed miserably at helping me figure out the best way to attract a man.

But while the only positive spin-off the column had was the immediate craving of an ice-cold Peroni, I thought it was only fitting to return the favour and provide the boys with some helpful hints.

How to impress your lady:

Nina: Stay away from cheesy pick-up lines. Try be more original. He-Man: No problem, but let me call heaven to see if they are missing an angel.

N: It doesn't matter how long you've been together, or how many times you have seen her in the same outfit, a woman ALWAYS likes to hear you tell her she looks good. H: As long as the "outfit" is from Victoria's Secret, you will hear you look good enough to eat!

N: We don't care if you think they are hogwash, we like watching shows like Gilmore Girls and Desperate Housewives, so just let us watch them without the running commentary. H: Agreed, women should be left to their TV shows. It?s therapy for you guys, just like Baywatch re-runs are therapy to us.

N: No matter how secure your girlfriend/wife is, you can only gain Brownie points by showing her affection when other hot girls are around. H: Absolutely. Except, this might be a little more challenging at the Annual Sports Illustrated Swimwear launch party!

N: You can get her to watch any action flick with you just by figuring out the key ingredient: a hunky hero (and NO, Chuck, Jean-Claude and Steven Segal don't count. Eew!). H: As long as there is no Meg Ryan, Diane Keaton or Bette Middler, then we have a deal. But don?t pick on Chuck ? that's sacrilege!

N: Dance with her! Even if you have two left feet and look like Borat on drugs... she will still appreciate the effort. H: Baby, as long as you can handle my Moonwalk and Running Man, we'll be like Fred and Ginger on the dance floor!

N: If she convinces you to go out with her friends, don't spend the evening sulking. It means a lot to her that you like her friends and that they like you. H: Great idea. I hope we can hang out with your buddies from the pole dancing class and not the knitting club.

N: Unless your lady is actually a super model, don't put pressure on her to look like one. She notices her own imperfections without you having to point them out. H: Wouldn't even think about it. That's what Nip/Tuck is for. And no, those jeans don't make your bum look big!

N: If she trips and falls or hits her head, ask her if she is okay first before rolling around on the floor laughing! H: Definitely, but if you are unconscious, I guess you won't know, now, will you?

N: And finally ? and this one is key ? do not insult her mother. EVER! H: It will never happen, dear. Besides, her home planet doesn?t understand English! "Phone home ET!" or "Beam her up, Scotty!"

So there you have it, folks. I doubt any real knowledge was gained from this social experiment, but we sure had fun doing it.

If anything, it underlined the notion that men and women are two completely different species.

I doubt we will ever truly understand one another ? but then, maybe half the fun is trying to figure each other out!

Until next time I leave you with this thought: if you are frustrated at having not met the right kind of partner, rest assured, it could be worse.

You could be dating actor/comedian/writer Mike Binder, who was once quoted as saying, "I date this girl for two years, and then the nagging starts: 'I wanna know your name... '"

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