Women endowed with the gift of the gab

2015-11-12 06:01
laughing lunga adam

laughing lunga adam

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Is it true that, generally in society, women have more talking ability than men? I should think so!

I do not hold this belief simply because I’m a man. Hey, members of the opposite sex can talk. They can walk into an empty room and liven it up with one or two or three words. I do not know, and do not want to debate, whether the world would be a better or worse place were women a bit more quiet than they currently are, or simply minded their business. Is this perhaps the reason why most talk shows on TV are hosted by more women than men - your Felicia Mabuza-Suttle, Noeleen Maholwana-Sangqu and the like?

In case you are wondering, I was inspired to pen this piece after being briefly in the company of one blabbering woman last week in one of the amaphela taxis, while en route to Nyanga. I am not sure if hers was to grab the attention of the driver by hook or crook, for the gap between her upper and lower lips kept widening. Nothing under the sun was off limits in her attempt to attract the man to her - must I say - conversation. To the driver, though, there was no difference from the woman seated next to him, to one who was fast asleep. The chap offered nothing in return. It was as if someone had held a gun to his head and threatened: “You say anything back to this woman, you are history.” The ‘fighting spirit’ of the lady was commendable though, for she just wouldn’t give up. Everything she spotted from her view, she would comment on, hoping for a reply of sorts from the uninterested driver. All to no avail, of course. When we passed Boys Town in Crossroads, she offered: “Azincinci maan ezizindlu. Tshotsho! Aba bantu balapha zange bafune ukuya e Lower. Thina saphunyelwa zii flats kwaye sinomhlaba.” Silence. We went past the meat abattoirs in Terminus Road (ezigusheni), and in typical fashion she shot once more: “Abasayithandi inyama abantu base Kapa.” No response.

This happened until I got off the taxi, and if she did manage to make the man open up, I bet you she has my vote for next president. Just as well, we desperately need a woman president to unseat ‘you know who’. And Nkosazana Dlamini-Zuma appears too quiet for my liking.

I have also had experiences of my own with women who won’t shut up, but will only share one. It was also in the same mode of transport and yours truly was headed for work. The girl next to me happened to be someone I am well acquainted with, through social interaction and the like. Immediately she came to sit next to me, I knew I was in trouble because, from time immemorial, her talking skills have always been up there with those of the best in the business. No sooner had the taxi pulled off, than she bombarded me with stories about her workplace, her life, you name it. Because I’m not a morning person, all I was bringing to the table was: “Yeah”, “Okay”, “Sure”, “I see”, “Yho!” But just like the other woman, she exercised patience with me. Co-incidence? Women thing?

The one thing I have noticed about the random loud-mouthed women you come across is that they expect you to immediately know or understand every aspect of their life, never mind that you are meeting for the first time. This they do so you can sympathise with their cause. They will tell you about their struggles with their alcoholic boyfriends or a mother-in-law who won’t back off, yet, to start with, you do not even know what these people look like!

#TalkativeWomenMustFall? Oh no. They make life more interesting, you see.

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