New ‘head honcho’ for SA sought

2015-09-02 06:00

APPLICATIONS are invited for the position of Head Honcho for the Republic of South Africa, to replace the present incumbent when his term of office expires.

This is a challenging position and the successful applicant must be skilled in the arts of obfuscation, denial, evasion, self enrichment and diverting blame to others in all instances where controversy arises.

The ability to grin like a Cheshire cat while being subjected to a torrent of abuse will stand the applicant in good stead.

Integrity is not a requirement but applicants possessed of this quality will be considered, provided that they undergo remedial treatment in accordance with the Abolition of Integrity Act (2014) (as amended).

Academic qualifications are not a pre-requisite but degree certificates, legitimate or otherwise, create a favourable impression when displayed on the office wall.

The current incumbent’s PhD, issued by the University of Albania, has generated much positive comment representing, as it does, excellence in the field of being Phenomenally Dodgy.

The position provides ample opportunity for world travel, meeting influential leaders and making silly statements.

Applications, accompanied by a R50 000 cash donation (for which no receipts will be issued) should be submitted to the Office of the Head Honcho, Union Buildings, Pretoria.

john Gardener

Howick

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