Blair's lewd love letters inspired Bush to invade Iraq

2010-01-15 10:35

Hayibo.com - Tony Blair's former spin doctor Alastair Campbell has told the Chilcot Inquiry into the Iraq War that the US invasion of the Gulf State was inspired by a series of passionate love letters sent from the former British Prime Minister to George Bush.

Campbell revealed that Blair sent secret letters to Bush, in which he declared his admiration, loyalty and undying love for the so-called leader of the free world.

Asked if any of Blair's cabinet Ministers had seen the letters, Campbell said they had not. "It would have been far too embarrassing for Tony," said Campbell, "He really spilled his guts."

In one letter Blair reportedly begged his US counterpart, "Invade Iraq like you invaded my heart."

Campbell said that as Blair's infatuation with the US President grew, his love letters became more lewd and suggestive, culminating with, "I want you in Iraq like I want you in me," - the final message sent before the invasion.

Campbell would neither confirm nor deny that Bush and Blair secretly referred to Saddam Hussein as Sodom Hussein.

However, when pressed by the Inquiry he admitted that Blair had frequently expressed concerns that his weapon of mass destruction might not be as big as Saddam's.

A spokesperson for the Inquiry confirmed that copies of the letters were in their possession, but added that they would probably not be made public due to their lewd, sycophantic and nauseating content.

Tony Blair could not be reached for comment as he was away at band camp. However his spokesperson, Smiley Moron said that while the former Prime Minister was over his infatuation with Bush, he still believed weapons of mass destruction would be found in Iraq.

"They'll probably be mounted on the backs of US armoured vehicles or strapped under the wings of f-19 jets," he said, "But they will be there somewhere."

For more satirical news visit www.hayibo.com

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