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Canada shocked to learn Huntley wasn't last white in SA

2009-09-01 15:00
line

Hayibo.com - Immigration authorities in England have warned Canada to expect a deluge of young, unemployable, white  South Africans to arrive in their country after an immigration and refugee panel, made up of white folk who had never been to Africa, bought into former Cape Town resident Brandon Huntley's paranoia and granted him refugee status. "There won't be enough pubs and restaurants in Vancouver and Toronto to employ them all," said an unnamed Home Office source.

On Monday Huntley became the first white person to be granted refugee status in Canada after claiming persecution from black South Africans.

Commenting on the ruling a Huntley's friend, Hannibal Plettervat said, "Brandon was mugged several times by black people. It was a clear case of persecution. They also called him names."

Asked how muggings could be equated to political or racial persecution Plettervat said he didn't know. "But you can ask the tribunal," he said, "they'll be able to tell you."

Asked what Huntley was likely to do now that he was legally free to stay in Canada, Plettervat said his friend would probably spend another few years there, at least until he had qualified for a passport and saved some valuable foreign currency.

He said that once those initial objectives had been achieved Huntley would probably return home to South Africa, buy a house or a small farm and settle down. "You know, the usual."

Meanwhile members of the tribunal panel who ruled that "the claimant would stand out like a 'sore thumb' due to his colour in any part of the country,” reacted with shock on hearing that there were in fact a further five million white South Africans still suffering daily persecution.

"We thought that maybe there were another hundred white people left," said tribunal spokesperson Alba Snow. "We were ready to send a helicopter to airlift them to safety," she added.

Snow admitted that evacuation plans had been put on hold after video footage of Patricia Lewis live in Brakpan had been downloaded from YouTube. "The only person that stood out like a sore thumb in that video was a black sound engineer who looked like he was bleeding out of both ears," she said.

She said the tribunal realised they had it all wrong when further investigation revealed that places like Loftus Versfeld, Constantia and the opposition benches in parliament also contained, "more than their fair share of whites."

For more satirical news visit www.hayibo.com

More from Hayibo:
Television trained doctors not the real thing warn SAMA
South Africans thank District 9 makers for new insights into xenophobia
SA government says oil-for-food scandal a major improvement on last scandal

Read more on:    hayibo

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Latest comment in South Africa

Gail says... In many respects the media have become the police in the last 20 years of freedom. During the apartheid years they were muzzled by the State in much the same way that the ANC is attempting to do now. The Editor of Daily Despatch in East London had to flee for his life for defying them - Donald Woods. Do we really want to return to that time? If sources don't come forward many people would get away with what the Eugene De Kocks did during that time and worse. That is not in the public interest of anyone regardless of who the finger is pointing at. Look how many powerful people have been unmasked for the thieves and crooks they are. They have the money to defend themselves and yet use taxpayers money like Selebi has and still owes the State. (By the way how is Jackie and where is he?) Sources must have the security of knowing that they will be protected by law and should the newspaper be sued for libel by any powerful person then the Media might go back to the source again should their report be placed under threat. I realise that occasionally someone cries rape against a particular person and where the victim is an unreliable witness and the case is thrown out for that reason, the mud tends to stick to the rapist. The alleged rapist then has the right to sue the victim for slander and damages. One seldom hears of that happening. I wonder why. This is why media are so careful around rape cases frequently avoiding use of any names. Read the article...

 
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