News24

Girl leaves suicide note on cellphone

2012-03-29 11:50

Bloemfontein - A 14-year-old girl from Heidedal, Bloemfontein, left a message on her new cellphone before committing suicide on Monday.

“I’m sorry mom, I don’t want to live anymore. I want to be with mama euna and dad ni (Nico)”, was the message that appeared intended as an SMS to her mother. It was never sent.

Darné McMolale, a Grade 8 pupil at Petunia High School hanged herself with one of her mother’s scarves in her parents’ house after taking pills.

She had been raised by her grandmother, Euna, and grandfather, Nico, until she was 5. They had since passed away.

Second suicide

She is the second girl from the same school to have committed suicide this month. Grade 10 pupil Leonie Peters, 17, hanged herself with a belt in her home earlier this month.

Another girl had also tried to commit suicide by taking an overdose of sleeping pills. She was found in time by her grandmother and taken to hospital. She has since been discharged.

Heidi McMolale, Darné’s mother, said her daughter had shown no signs of depression or anxiety. Her daughter’s sudden death was a shock to her and others.

"She came back early from school on Monday and didn’t want to go to town with us. She said we should lock her in the house as she was going to lie down to take a nap. She didn’t seem strange or upset.”

Darné was found by her 8-year-old brother, Danian and her mother’s friend, Desmond Bergman, where she was hanging from a security gate in the passage.

Her mother, a nurse at the Mediclinic Bloemfontein, immediately took down her daughter and attempted mouth-to-mouth resuscitation.

“She was already ice cold and blue. You want to save your child’s life. If only she came to talk to me, I could’ve done something. But the way she tied the scarf, she had ensured it couldn’t come undone.”

McMolale said she would miss her friendly and cheerful daughter.

23 suicides in SA each day

Leonie’s mother, Caroline Peters, said her daughter had not been herself on the day of her death. “She went through the drawers in her cupboard but wouldn’t say what was wrong. I just left her to be alone.”

Leonie loved writing and was always dancing in the house with her mother and younger brother, Luciano, 8.

Zane Wilson, founder of the South African Depression & Anxiety Group (Sadag) said there were 23 suicides in the country each day.

“More than 300 people try to take their lives each day and 23 succeed. It is terrible and more must be done to prevent it.”

- Sadag suicide crisis line 0800 567 567.
 

Comments
  • bathobatena - 2012-03-29 12:01

    really sad. i know exactly how this woman must have felt. not a nice feeling at all. u feel as if u failed the person that committed suicide and the memories of your last moments with them gets replayed over and over again by your mind and you wish you had picked up that sign he or she was trying to show u. sorry moms!

  • lytteot7 - 2012-03-29 12:05

    They should be an educational drive at our schools. Bullying and failing a grade are top things that lead to kids suicide. Somehow I learn more about girls committing suicide than boys. Something is very wrong.

      Raymond - 2012-03-30 11:58

      Have to wonder why she was brought up by her grandparents....

  • clinton.badenhorst - 2012-03-29 12:05

    It's a terrible country we live in! And then you ask why do all these people want to commit suicide!

      Lucille - 2012-03-29 12:49

      If its so terrible as you say why not move to one of those fantastic countries where there is no crime and coruption and no one does anything like this.... maybe because that counrty doesnt exist???????????????

      Mpho Matlala - 2012-03-29 13:23

      Clinton, your comment is very strange. If that is the cause of her suicide..(terrible country we live in) I'm honesty surprised you still managed to comment.... Have something more concrete to say mate. Don't clutch at straws.

      Randomhero6661 - 2012-03-29 16:08

      we have spies on this forum!

  • Carla - 2012-03-29 12:12

    Tragic. RIP

  • Rob - 2012-03-29 12:12

    I have sympathy, as it takes guts to do this. It's not the answer I know, unless terminally ill & suffering terribly, but to want to end your life @ an age when you are only really starting to live it, is senseless. Shame man.

      Raven - 2012-03-29 13:12

      @ Rob, since i have been on that ledge a few times myself, please answer me and other potential suicidalists this: what is the point to life? When will it become better? Why bother?

      Jeeves - 2012-03-29 13:52

      Hi Raven. Been there myself. I came back by finding purpose, getting rid of every negative trigger around me and living for nothing but that new purpose. Major thing was the triggers. If I cant teach people how to treat me, I remove them from my life. Surrounded by awesome people now and very happy. Dunno if this will work for everyone but it works well for me. Never been happier.

      Raven - 2012-03-29 15:45

      @ Jeeves - you are one of the lucky ones that could see/find purpose. But when you are that young and dont even know what you dont know, how/where do you find purpose? The only thing i know about this ordeal is that there was not even one person to tell her not to do it.

      Trudy - 2012-03-30 12:01

      Raven please phone Sadag or speak to some other professional. No need to go through that alone. Regards

  • Marion - 2012-03-29 12:16

    May she RIP. Sincere condolences to her family and friends.

  • Matthew - 2012-03-29 12:16

    Theres something going on at this school that needs to be looked at and NOW!!! the girls/boys responebile for this list need to be addressed (slut list,cause i'm assuming that this is related to it) and i hope they never forget the damage they've done and what damage they've caused other people to do to themselves and all around them sad sad sad

  • Shirley - 2012-03-29 12:25

    Dont want to point fingers too early but it seems the problem might be at the school? The lesson to be learnt from this tragedy is that parents need to be more involved with their children once they reach teens. It might be a good thing if children were given a guidence class once a week,where there are teachers who allow children to unload their issues with a neutral party,who can advise and if needs be bring the parents in. Teens in general dont want to discuss problems with parents,so having an impartial person might help. Condolences to the families,this should never happen to any parent!

  • Sharon - 2012-03-29 12:29

    Children today have so much more stress than we did at their age. Condolences to the families, we had a suicide in our family, and it is so hard to understand how this could have happened.

  • The-third - 2012-03-29 12:40

    Azwi: Here's a constructive suggestion: Let's stop pussy-footing around the issue and teach our kids to have a bit of backbone FFS. You don' take your life because times are tough or, even worse, because you miss others who have passed on. Bloody hell man.

      The-third - 2012-03-29 13:14

      Then I am guilty as charged Marion. I don't see how a 14 year old can even suggest life's not worth living when they've not even begun living. My point, FFS ;-), is that people take the easy option way too often these days, and it's bull.

      IAmTheDarkPrince - 2012-03-29 13:43

      I pray you are able to forgive your ignorance if your child ever does the same. You're blind to the realities of depression. You're in denial about the severity of the situations others are experiencing. The whole world doesn't think, feel, and behave like you - and you would be a fool to continue acting as if it is so. "The so-called ‘psychotically depressed’ person who tries to kill herself doesn’t do so out of quote ‘hopelessness’ or any abstract conviction that life’s assets and debits do not square. And surely not because death seems suddenly appealing. The person in whom Its invisible agony reaches a certain unendurable level will kill herself the same way a trapped person will eventually jump from the window of a burning high-rise. Make no mistake about people who leap from burning windows. Their terror of falling from a great height is still just as great as it would be for you or me standing speculatively at the same window just checking out the view; i.e. the fear of falling remains a constant. The variable here is the other terror, the fire’s flames: when the flames get close enough, falling to death becomes the slightly less terrible of two terrors. It’s not desiring the fall; it’s terror of the flames. And yet nobody down on the sidewalk, looking up and yelling ‘Don’t!’ and ‘Hang on!’, can understand the jump. Not really. You’d have to have personally been trapped and felt flames to really understand a terror way beyond falling." ~David Foster Wallace

      Marion - 2012-03-29 13:47

      @TheThirdWors - perhaps to you and me it looks like it was the easy option. We have no idea what she has been through in her life. There could be all sorts of horrible things that she has been subjected to. It does seem that it may have started with a bit of upheaval. I've attempted suicide and I'm glad I didn't succeed. Spent years at psychologists trying to 'pull myself towards myself' and only found out about ten years ago that I have lesions on my brain that affect its functioning. Not trying to justify suicide, just saying that it is easy to sit in judgement. For me someone who is suicidally depressed and has been fighting it could be tipped over the edge by something that seems totally trivial to the rest of us. The suicide follows upon the last straw that breaks the camels back after years of swimming against the current. Please just try to find some compassion in your heart for people who are pushed beyond what they feel they can endure. Not too hard I'm sure.

      Randomhero6661 - 2012-03-29 16:18

      and all of a sudden people are experts on suicide, tell me honestly do you really care? if you do bravo(really!) if you don't you can't lie to yourself. with sentiment i agree with the thirdwors... the human race at its pace is going backwards.

  • The-third - 2012-03-29 12:42

    Shirley: If I was your parent I would teach you to have a backbone and not give up on life when things don't go your way.

      IAmTheDarkPrince - 2012-03-29 13:48

      So I take it you'd be teaching your children the same kind of ignorance? What a loving father you are.

      The-third - 2012-03-29 13:59

      I Am The Dark Prince: You see mate, it's calling yourself a name like that that makes me think you need a hug, a beer and a good pep talk. We all can't sit in a corner trying to find deeper meaning in Kurt Cobain lyrics though chief - life goes on and it needs to be lived. If we start thinking it's okay to end things when life sucks then we have completely lost the plot.

      Prudence Pelembe - 2012-03-29 16:12

      Well not all moms have this kind of conversation with their kids.

  • Lucille - 2012-03-29 12:50

    so terrible I hope her family can find some sort of peace, RIP

  • Ben - 2012-03-29 12:51

    So sad when school kids punch their own tickets.

  • James - 2012-03-29 12:57

    HOW AWFUL!!! RIP CONDOLENCES TO THE FAMILY

  • Pixie86 - 2012-03-29 13:10

    i mostly feel sorry for the 8 year old brother who will be scarred for life after seeing his sister's body hanging

  • Joann - 2012-03-29 13:33

    I agree that this school should be investigated and the person/s that created this 'list' be made an example of. Bullying was, is and will always be a huge problem to all children growing up and should be dealt with as harshly as possible to stop this abuse. This girl barely knew what life was and what it could of been. May she rest in peace and my deepest condolences to her family and friends. xxx

  • muriel.proudfoot - 2012-03-29 13:33

    I am certainly no expert of psychiatrist but this is a very troubling pattern - I have seen this very same thing when I was at school (years ago :-) ). One kid commits suicide (or attempts to) and that kid becomes the centre of attention at that school. Kids who 'do not fit' or seek attention could see this as a way to turn focus on them (apart from general depression). I hope Schools monitor this and provide extensive counselling when a suicide has occurred. My heart goes out to the loved ones left behind.

      TaniaSandraSteyn - 2012-03-29 13:45

      I agree OiVey. The same happened at my school many years ago. A standard 7 boy hung himself, and several kids attempted suicide in the following months. It seems to be contagious in a psychologigical way.

  • Lynda - 2012-03-29 13:36

    Suicide is NOT a selfish act. That person is extremely depressed and at the very lowest mental, spiritual and emotional point in their lives - it's absolutely heartbreaking and sad that they didn't see any option for help with whatever was troubling them.

  • vessela.hobson - 2012-03-29 14:27

    As a side note, people should not tell their kids that their grandma and grandpa are still alive somewhere and that in death they could join them. One life, this is it, live it.

  • Irma - 2012-03-29 15:09

    To all those people who say how selfish suicide is, you are all a bunch of ignorant jerks. If you have never been in that dark space, who are you to judge? I was in a very, VERY dark place in my life as a teenager and I can only feel pain at what this poor girl felt. It is NOT bad parenting, it is NOT being selfish, it is NOT because you don’t have a backbone. There are PLENTY of reasons why a child would do this- TRUST ME I’VE BEEN THERE! It is a horrible place and it’s a miracle I got out relatively unscathed. If you guys can’t even think about how this girl felt that she saw suicide as her only option, then not only are you ignorant but narrow minded too.

      leigh.ridgway - 2012-03-30 11:24

      @Irma - Oh yes, suicide IS selfish! Slit my wrists when I was 16 as I believed that my inner pain would never go away. I woke up in hospital surrounded by so many familiar faces, all crying and asking why, why, why? You leave behind all those that love you, you end your pain and cause others heartache which will stay with them for as long as they live. Innocent parents torturing themselves daily with questions that will never get answered. There is ALWAYS someone to talk to and help. You just have to pick yourself up out of your own self pity and seek it! That being said: Condolences to this girls family, they will suffer for her decision for as long as they breathe!

  • siya.jr - 2012-03-29 16:15

    I FEEL VERY SORRY FOR THE FAMILY....MY SINCERE CONDOLENCE TO THE FAMILY.

  • sally.lewitt - 2012-03-30 01:44

    RIP little one.. Condolences to the Family and friends. We don't know why and we will never know why..

  • radlegend - 2012-03-30 10:17

    This is so unfortunately. Only 14? What life had she even lived to say she didn't want to live anymore? So so sad. I just wish someone in power could address this sad thing: kids committing suicide. :'(

  • Caiphus - 2012-03-30 11:56

    Rip ...i think it is important that we must monitor any behaviour change for our friend and family.....Sincere condolences to the family i will be with them on my prayers....God will protect them always....

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