How much for a wife?
2006-12-11 10:43
Johannesburg - It once cost several head of
cattle for a South African man to set himself up with a new
wife, but these days many pay in cash, and inflation - or abuse
- can be a problem.
December is wedding season in South Africa, with flashy
German cars blitzing through dusty township streets and families
gearing up for traditional economic negotiations that often
precede the ceremony.
The tradition of "lobola", or dowry, has long been common
throughout southern Africa as the groom's family gives a gift,
typically cattle, to the family whose daughter is joining their
household.
But in modern South Africa, where few urbanised families
have room for pastures, the calculations move quickly to cash.
Some men think they have bought their wives and for both
parties, inflation is complicating romance.
'Buying' a wife
"It is a beautiful ceremony that has been bastardised by
opportunistic people and inflation," said Amanda Gcabashe, a
traditional healer.
Barry Dijoe, a young professional from South Africa's Tswana
tribe who is about to embark on lobola negotiations, said some
of the younger generation see lobola as expensive and
unnecessary.
"But then you've got to look at the other side of the coin,
it is a sign of giving thanks to her parents for raising the
woman that you fell in love with," Dijoe said.
Nevertheless, he was preparing for some tough haggling.
"Unfortunately, it has become a financial transaction, some
people just forget the aspect of love and the fact that we are
beginning a life together," he said.
How to value a bride?
The lobola negotiation is usually steered by the bride's
family, who often remind their prospective son-in-law that it
took time and money to raise the woman he intends to marry.
Likhapa Mbatha from the Centre for Applied Legal Studies at
Johannesburg's University of the Witwatersrand and secretary for
the Movement for Rural Women, a non-profit organisation, says
the lobola custom is central to the African identity.
"It is our African way of doing things and still a viable
practice," she said, although she added that some men wind up
with a false sense of ownership after the transaction.
"Some men abuse their wives and do so on the basis that they
paid lobola."
Cattle remain an important sign of wealth in modern South
Africa, and in rural areas lobola is often still paid in the
form of cows sent from one family's field to another.
But for black South Africans living in cities and urbanised
townships, as well as the increasing number who live in leafy
suburbs once designated as "white" under apartheid, the cattle
are increasingly figurative.
Prices may still be set in cows, but the payment is strictly
in cash.
The two sides must first set a price for a single cow -
which could range from a symbolic R100 to the current
market price of R3 000 - and then multiply it by
the number of cows the new bride is deemed to be worth.
This can add up to serious money. And even if the couple
ends up divorcing, the bride's family keeps its bounty.
Thabo Seekane, who recently gave away his daughter, said
determining lobola in the old days would not involve current
considerations such as the prospective bride's education level
or physical attractiveness.
"It was something that was pre-determined, years in advance
by the family," he said. "The problem with today is the
conversion of cattle into cash. This conversion becomes a
personal thing and very subjective."
Payment plan
With prices rising, some families have agreed lobola can be
paid in instalments - over a lifetime in some cases. But others
demand full payment upfront in what critics say is a very
expensive abuse of the age-old ceremony.
Several years ago, a Johannesburg businessman reportedly
paid R250 000 for the hand of a daughter of
Zulu King Goodwill Zwelithini.
Zwelithini himself has repeatedly dipped into the purse to
pay lobola, a hazard of following the Zulu custom of taking more
than one wife.
Dick Mhango, a spokesperson for South African bank Nedbank,
said the lender does not have any specific products for lobola,
but a dowry could be covered under a general loan.
While in rural regions many women still support lobola,
Mbatha of the University of the Witwatersrand said they are
growing worried that inflation might put marriage out of reach
in areas where unemployment can be as high as 40%.
"Rural woman have asked government to pass laws, which will
set a minimum and a maximum price to lobola ... it has become
very difficult for their children to pay lobola," she said.
South Africa's National House of Traditional Leaders, its
highest council of tribal and community elders, last year asked
parliament to regulate lobola to curb rocketing price demands.
"It should not be commercialised and that is the position we
took," said Abraham Mzakhe Sithole, the head of the chamber.