News24

Overwhelmed gran tries to kill herself

2012-04-26 10:19

Cape Town - A Samora Machel grandmother tried to commit suicide for a second time over the weekend out of desperation.

The domestic worker's situation came to light after her employer called radio talk show host Africa Melane, reported Eyewitness News.

The employer said the woman had tried to commit suicide before, and is struggling to care for her nine grandchildren.

She was desperate and unable to cope with her situation, which included a 17-year-old daughter who had recently left her with a 5-month-old baby.

Her three children are unemployed and her eldest is a drug addict who steals from her.

Apart from her salary as a domestic worker, she receives a R250 grant for four of the children.

The department of social development said they would look into helping the woman.

A social worker will be appointed to look into her situation.
 

Comments
  • Phae - 2012-04-26 10:32

    My heart breaks for you goga. I hope you find the support you need. Don't let her down Social Services!!

      carpejugulim - 2012-04-26 13:48

      Leonard there are too many idiots out there. A mindset of "if I have a baby I get a grant" doesn't actually mean that I have to look after the baby too ... come on now ... it's much easier to foist the child onto granny because she has a job. My heart goes out to the grandmother because that is just plain abuse

  • Beryl - 2012-04-26 10:42

    and how about the social worker looking into helping this poor granny out NOW and not in six months time when it could be too late!! God bless you granny.

  • baxitoo - 2012-04-26 10:46

    Where are their mothers? She raised her children, now she has to raise her grand-children? Why make babies if you can't take care of them? Poor Gogo.

  • Elize - 2012-04-26 10:47

    This is the one thing I don't understand about the youth in our country, instead of trying to get an education and become someone in life they keep on having babies which they cannot provide for and this now becomes the taxpayer's problem. Why don't they just make use of the local clinic where condoms and injections are given for free.

      kmpitso - 2012-04-26 11:19

      try understand this!!!! why do we have different IQ's.. some people are smart some are Dumb.. not a choice but thats just how nature is!!! Dumb cant think or dont hv any logic em.. they do as they want... not thinking for next person nor thinking ahead!!! dat is nature dear.. smart once must think for them, which is why we hv president!!! ohhh noooo..he is a dumb s too.. our country is suffering Elize..

      Eternity - 2012-04-26 11:42

      Some people are going to want to attack me on this but... I really do believe that people need to get a license to have children. Not just to the rich, but to anyone that can prove that they can support a child. The world is over populated as is it.

      Elize - 2012-04-26 11:45

      Kmpitso I don't agree, you get very clever people and not so clever people some people just have to work harder in school then others, but this is the one thing our goverment has failed to provide this nation and that is basic education it is so so important and without that we will never ever solve the problems that we have!!

  • Mis - 2012-04-26 10:48

    As a granny one would expect her to be taking a rest enjoying life after raising her own children but, no she still has to change pampers for a 5 month old grand child and raise 9 more. No wonder she is suicidal.

  • Marion - 2012-04-26 10:49

    Feel for you gogo. May you get the assistance you need. Great that the employer has tried to find her assistance in this time of need. The grandmother should not have to pay for the 'sins' of her children.

  • Chaapo - 2012-04-26 11:00

    Sad story but in a way she appears to be an enabler as well. These are grown up children and she takes the responsibility of providing for their children while they go around producing children. And, because she will not say no, even the youngster has joined in too. There are times when has to practise tough love and so no else the cycle will not stop. Now that there is intervention, I bet she will have more children coming to her. As for the one who steals, report him already so that he has his consequence- why would you protect a druggie who does not want to be cleaned up?

  • Aphiwe - 2012-04-26 11:05

    Sucks that they don't mention y her three kids are unemployed though, like are they physically or mentally disabled? Are they furthering their education? What is the reason? I have 2 siblings and I do believe at this current point we (all 3) are employed, I understand getting jobs in South Africa is difficult but you can't tell me ALL 3 of em have tirelessly tried to no avail. I think if that 17yr old is not doing anything but popping babies, maybe her mom shud take her along with to work one day (take a gal child to work) where she can see what hard work is n maybe can be useful. This is all ofcoz assuming she isnt in school. Grandmothers need to rest, not run around toddlers and changing nappies.

  • jacqueseng - 2012-04-26 11:10

    Quite sad this for many reasons. I can help but think Education has and will always be a silver bullet. If we had propper education people would have less children cause they would do the math on what it cost to raise a child, secondly they would not place a burden on parents to be care takers when they should be enjoying the last years of a hopefully acomplished life...

      Pixie86 - 2012-04-26 12:02

      oh i don't know. Kids in affluent schools are also getting knocked up so clearly education is not the only factor

  • Jack - 2012-04-26 11:14

    That is so very sad. I am sure there are plenty people in similar situations or worse, people we just never hear about. And here she is, her reality is awful. My heart breaks for her.

  • RiĆ«tte - 2012-04-26 11:28

    I feel sorry for this poor woman, she deserves so much better than being used by her children, popping babies and then leave them for granny to raise and care for. Young girls have no excuse to get pregnant, contraception are free at the clinics. if you are old enough to open your legs you are old enough to take precautions!

  • Estelle - 2012-04-26 11:30

    I do not think this poor (on all levels) grandmother can find the time, strength and savvy between working & caring for the young ones to make an educated decision on what to do next! Before judging or giving advice, go to a quiet corner and put yourself in her shoes for a day or even just a little while. I know (or think I know) how difficult it would have been to raise my 3 children as a single mother without any financial or emotional support.... It would also have helped if the article listed some contact details for those that wanted to assist (even if it would have been a once off....sometime that is all one need... just an indication that someone out there cares.)

  • nishaatf - 2012-04-26 11:31

    Should she get it right to kill herself , were will the kids go , honestly i cant feel that sorry for people wanting to kill them self becos they struggle yes its hard , but do u think the children will be better off wen u not there , atleast now u there to make sure there a plate of food, people trying to kill themself for attention , i knw a few people that does this kind of thing for attention , im sorry if i dnt have sympathy

      maundybuller - 2012-04-26 11:46

      taking strain can make you do almst evrythng.. Rmbr thz aint her children by birth...\r\n\r\nNot tht its a good thing.. But if you can begin 2 picture the wole think, i guess yu myt feel sorry for her

      Marion - 2012-04-26 11:46

      @nishaatf - hope you never find yourself in a situation where you are so desperate that you cannot see any other way out. Easy to sit in judgement and say that people just do it for attention. I'm sorry if you don't have sympathy too.

      nishaatf - 2012-04-26 11:50

      OK i understand what u saying , i am looking after 8 children that not mine at all , two of my own , I am only but 23 years years old , i have been doing this since i was 20 , yes things gets to much at time , but u need to have failth in your GOD , to keep you sane , thats what gets me through problems , Is that i belive god will not put me in diff that i cant handle , im 23 years old

      Marion - 2012-04-26 12:32

      @nishaatf - I sincerely hope that your faith and your obviously kind heart keep you strong when times are rough - and they will be very tough at times. If ever things get too much for you, reach out for help before it is too late because there is help out there for people in your situation. My best wishes to you and your charges for the future. xxx

      nishaatf - 2012-04-26 13:22

      Thank you so much for u kind words Marion , i knw sum1 dear to me that has tried to kill himself more than 10 times, and that was never his intention to do , but he wanted attention , and i do feel for the granny , i just start to think of the people i knw that cried wolf

      Deana - 2012-04-26 16:43

      @nishaatf- you obviously don't know anything about depression and desperation. Until you do- don't judge. I am sure suicide was not a decision taking lightly and that the grandmother really didn't see a reason to go on. May God give her the strength to face the future bravely until He releases her troubled soul.

  • zukiswa.sidlayi - 2012-04-26 11:34

    Things we do to our parents, this is sad hey. God bless you gogo, you have raised your own and now you are forced to raise the grandchildren.

  • bryn.barker - 2012-04-26 11:34

    The sad thing is many people live like that. My domestic of nearly 20 years had a husband die, she divorced the second and last husband because he became a drunk, her only affectionate daughter died of aids and left a baby, her beloved nephew who she raised as a son died of aids and he was only 15, her nice son was stabbed to death on his way home, her other son steals from her and is a druggie, her sister is borderline retarded and grossly irresponsible with her kids so needs constant checking up on, there's another daughter who is so lazy she's never worked, can't speak english and keeps popping out babies, she lives out of town so gets up very early and gets home late, she keeps being guilt tripped into buying things for family memmbers that she can't afford (like cellphones and rented tuxedos), she's still paying off funeral expenses because of the ridiculous traditions she has to adhere to etc. The entire extended family seems to rely on my domestic for money, and the only people who showed any appreciation for her existence are now dead. My heart breaks for her crappy life, and she's one of the nicest and most honest people I've ever met. I've come across other similar stories and I have to wonder where the fabric of society has gone.

  • owamin1 - 2012-04-26 11:50

    While I feel for this gogo, I think she raised her children in a way that has made them waht they are. That she has a 17 year old that not only gets pregnant at that age, but also thinks nothing of leaving her poor mother with a five-month old baby. Her other 3 children are clearly a burden because they are unemployed. Have they tried growing vegetables and selling them/ Or buying tomatoes and selling them from a street corner. Seriously now, she needs to be tough in loving her children, and get them to grow up and be counted. Why must tax payers keep helping in situations that can be resolved by the affected parties getting a move on!

  • qinisile.phungula - 2012-04-26 11:50

    :(.

  • meredith.r.pollock - 2012-04-26 11:52

    This is so sad, but you all keep voting the ANC into power and this is sadly the result, & even sadder is that this is just one case being brought to light, what about all the others that we don't know about. It is sick that she only receives R250 for 4 kids, what the hell are the grant people thinking???? Disgusting!!! Social Services wake up and help these people before we end up burying them and as for the ANC how about actually keeping your promises to these people instead of stealing from them and keeping them prisoner to such horrific poverty, get off the gravy train and help these people dammit!!! My heart breaks for you gogo, but please don't give up just yet...

      Elize - 2012-04-26 12:42

      Manu and your point being??

      meredith.r.pollock - 2012-04-26 13:45

      @Manu, were you born stupid or did you take a course????? The ANC is still the overall powers that are increasing prices of everything and taking the money, do your homework (oh wait you too stupid to do that) and see how the ANC's Zuma and company are living... They are the reason this country is facing so much poverty.. Try to think before you comment!!!

      Barefoot - 2012-04-26 16:07

      Lets take a moment to analyze things over here did the anc make all those kids? when social services helps people you cry the government is wasting money on people who don't want to work, when it doesn't you still cry. i think there are legitimate reasons one could blame the anc on but this one i beg to differ.

      Brian - 2012-04-26 17:32

      And what exactly does the ANC have to do with her having 9 grand-children? The grant is just there to assist, its not some sort of salary. Yes corruption is a major problem but it has absolutely nothing to do with her useless kids, the eldest being a druggie and the 17 year old leaving her with a baby. Perhaps I'm not smart enough to understand your reasoning. If that is the case, please, I implore you, dazzle me with your wisdom!

      Nikki Bodenstein - 2012-04-26 21:47

      Hahaha, wakey wakey Manu!

      Thembi - 2012-04-26 21:58

      Meredith we keep voting ANC coz it delivered us from Apartheid.dom passes and etc.I believe people has to meet the Government halfway and work for themselves.Making kids that a person cannot look after is so irresponsible.people must outGrow their laziness and irresponsibility.why must they make lots of kids yet they can't afford?there is free family planning mind you?

  • Manu - 2012-04-26 12:21

    The is a typical ghetto life story. Get rid of the ghetto and you get rid of these problems.

      meredith.r.pollock - 2012-04-26 13:48

      Geez, you like a retard!!!! Please return to your village they missing an idiot!!!!

      Manu - 2012-04-26 14:53

      You know what meredith? If we were face to face you wouldn't dare talk to me like that. Unfortunately people like you think that a comments section on the internet gives you a licence to behave like a piece of trash. This is where you true nature reveals itself. Have a good life.

      meredith.r.pollock - 2012-04-26 17:05

      Manu you are the trash, you have no compassion for people who are seriously suffering from poverty, your own pathetic comments are proof of that & ummmm as for face to face, yes i would still say it to your face, what do you think you are someone to be feared, get real!!!!

      Manu - 2012-04-28 10:17

      meredith what in my comments indicates that I have no sympathy for this grandmother? You formed a silly idea in your head and then rushed to insult me. If you had two functional brain cells to rub together you would have understood the point that I was making. What that grandmother is going through is not an exclusive problem. You would know this if you had ever lived in a ghetto ... and I have. There are thousands upon thousands going through the same experience, if not worse. There are orphans who alone are looking after other orphaned children. The only time suburbanites like yourself feal sympathy for the poor is when you read it as headlines in your newspapers, and for a few moments you become soft and mushy, until you remember the party that you will be hosting for your friends in a few hours. You are sympathetic for the benefit of your own conscience, but it's not as if you really care. Those of us who have lived in the ghetto (not you) know that the ghetto is one giant ball of suffering and there is only one cure for it. FYI I am an ordinary person living and ordinatry life, but I promise you that if we meet face to face you will think three times before insulting me. Maybe you are acustomed to insulting your domestic workers without reply but don't confuse me with your domestic workers.

      meredith.r.pollock - 2012-04-28 19:20

      Actually Manu I do not have a domestic, i do my own work, we not all like you that likes to keep others to clean up after you, I clean up after myself thanks very much, & I don't throw parties as you put it, again something not everyone can afford, so speak for yourself, not for me & even though I don't have much myself, its people like gogo that i help unlike you who probably sells what you no longer have use for instead of giving it away like I do... You now live an ordinary life because chances are someone helped you which is all this gogo needs, a little help... You know what trying to reason with a fool like you who has renounced all form of intelligence is like trying to administer medicine to the dead... Good luck with your attitude in life to the poor... Someone obviously helped you so how about paying it forward and helping others like gogo, oh wait sorry you only worry about yourself and no one else.. Good Luck with that.. Have a good life!!!!

  • chantelstanderbosch - 2012-04-26 12:40

    so very sad.... but we are proud of you goga.... not very many grandparents do what you do. May God bless you and send you all the help you need

  • Fana - 2012-04-26 12:49

    what hs this world cum to

      barry.mcbride - 2012-04-26 14:10

      LOL, sorry but was the pun intended?

  • Tumelo - 2012-04-26 13:21

    Its unfortunate that even the social system is overburdened with children the country cannot afford to take care of, and parents who can't afford to have kids! Same reason for the current rate of HIV infections! Sad though!

  • Mashilo Legobye - 2012-04-26 15:32

    Y don't Graca Machel Mandela's wife help dem? Or r not related

      Mimi - 2012-04-27 06:33

      Fill-in the missing word\r\nThere is no pill 4 s.....?

      Kekeletso.nax - 2012-04-27 06:59

      Dearie \Samora Machel\ is the area they live in, not their surname. Understand? #Shem.

  • wcgibson - 2012-04-26 15:42

    I also feel very sad for this gogo... Many older women from the poorer communities have to give up any dream of retirement to continue working to support children and grand-children. I really hope that things work out for her in the end.

  • Porshemak - 2012-04-26 16:03

    this is so heart breaking, iwish she can get helped. govt should implement law that anyone who breed without finacial well off, should get arrested.

  • Sello - 2012-04-26 21:11

    Our government should introduce a birth control policy. The population is fast dwarfing the economy and a growing section of the nation is left out of the income bracket, with devastating effects to everyone.

  • Nikki Bodenstein - 2012-04-26 21:45

    All about upbringing. Poor Gran, she really has rubbish for kids and grand kids

  • Thembi - 2012-04-26 22:07

    Girls must think before making unwanted and unplanned babies for the grandmothers.the Government provide free family planning for all.people must stop irresponsible behaviour and laziness then they blame the government for their foolish mistakes.howz the Government involved when a person chooses to be irresponsible?

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