Weary Joost tells all on TV
2009-11-05 10:01
Cape Town - A visibly strung-out Joost van der Westhuizen appeared on Coenie de Villiers's programme Kwêla on kykNET on Wednesday night.
"I almost lost my life," said the former Springbok rugby player in a weary voice.
"I have fallen hard."
It was Van der Westhuizen's first TV interview since admitting last week that it was indeed him in the controversial sex video that made headlines in February. Over the following eight months, the sex video threw the lives of Van der Westhuizen and his wife, Amor Vittone, into turmoil.
"It was a very tough week, but it was my own fault. It is a battle I have to fight with myself and I will make it through."
Apology
Van der Westhuizen said he was sitting in the live interview "in shame" and said he felt "humiliated".
"I apologise for what I did to that woman and to the people. I wrote this book for my two children. I can't expect my two children to be honest with me if I'm not honest with them and their mother.
"It is the story of a rugby player - my story - who became so famous that you later lead a false life. Now it is the life lesson of a guy who stepped down from his throne because he lived a lie."
Van der Westhuizen said: "I ask for forgiveness and apologise here on Kwêla. The things of which I am now accused, are my private life.
"This is what I have to sort out with my wife and my children and my Lord. I am not playing the religion card. This is my life and I lived it wrongly. I want to fix that."
He expected to come under more fire. He said that he had mixed emotions about the media and that he felt "very emotional".
"These things happened to make me a better person and not a bitter person. I want to walk out of here a better person. I am human. I made mistakes. I was caught out. Now I have to fix things. There is only one way and that is the truth. My message is simple: Don't live a lie."
His voice was hoarse and Van der Westhuizen almost became emotional when he spoke about his wife.
"She is an incredible person. I ask myself: How could you have done it, Joost? I have fallen hard."
Tough questions
During the interview, Van der Westhuizen also answered several tough questions, including:
- Mike Bolhuis: "I don't blame Mike Bolhuis. I went to Mike Bolhuis. Yes, we walked side by side. I am not going to get involved with Mike Bolhuis in the media. When I walk out of here today, I close my chapter. There is nothing I can do to the past. There is much that I can do in the future."
- Charmaine Weavers (Gale): "If I had to go back in my life… there are many things. The video was the thing that made the news. If I had to go back to apologise for every little thing, I would sit here a long time. If I deny it, they will bring out another bunch of girls right now. It doesn't matter what I say, tomorrow it's in the media."
- How he felt when the video story broke and he knew it was him in the video: "Fear. Shock. Fear. From 'it can't be happening!' You know you are going to lose your wife… you are going to lose your children. This is a mess, which I caused myself, but it was three-and-a-half years ago. I drank a lot, socialised much and told many lies. You seduced people, you got involved with the wrong things, like drugs, and then it comes back and bites you."
- Amor's emotional Kwêla interview in which she defended him: "I have incredible respect for my wife. When she sat here, she didn't know."
- Marilize van Emmenis: "No (we didn't have contact again). I ask people to forgive me. And I also have to forgive others. Just like in my situation, they know they made mistakes. Like I was a bad person, they were bad people. I am not angry. I shouldn't have gotten myself into that situation in the first place. That is why I'm sitting here tonight - to fix my situation.
- When people stop him on the street: "People are led by the media and form their opinions. Judgements are now being made. All that I can do is to look people in the face and say I'm sorry."