Surrogates fulfil gays' dreams
2008-05-06 19:31
New York - An ever growing number of gay couples are paying tens of thousands of dollars to have surrogate mothers carry their babies, turning America's concept of traditional family on its head.
It took two women and two men for two-year-old twins Katherine and Connor to come to life.
Their fathers, Michael Eidelman and AJ Vincent, who have lived together for years, invested love, time and all their savings to build their family in New York's Chelsea neighbourhood.
The eggs were donated by a woman in Washington state and fertilized in vitro with sperm from both men. The fertilised egg was then inserted in the uterus of a woman from Ohio.
Each man is the biological father of one of the twins, who were born in Los Angeles, where the laws are less stringent for same-sex couples.
"I am so glad that we chose that pathway," said Eidelman, a 40-year-old dermatologist.
"It definitely has challenges on a day-to-day basis. You never know what is coming your way," he said. "But, on the other hand, it is more rewarding than any other thing I have done in my life."
Gay baby boom
To fulfil their dream of parenthood, the couple turned to Circle Surrogacy, a company that helps people find egg donors and host mothers and navigate through the legal and medical insurance process.
"It is a very successful business," said Circle Surrogacy President John Weltman.
"In 12 years we have grown 6 000% with no borrowing whatsoever and profit made every month," he said. "We expect to double in the next two and half years."
The "gay baby boom" has made families with two fathers a common sight in New York City's daycare centres and parks, although gay couples legally marry only in one US state, Massachusetts.
"It is not looked at anymore as something so weird or strange," said Sanford Benardo, president of the Northeast Assisted Fertility Group from Boston, Massachusetts.
"More and more people are doing it," said Bernardo. "It is not for celebrities anymore."
Number of families with gay parents is growing
The process costs at least $100 000, with $25 000 going to the surrogate mother. The rest goes to the agency, medical costs and legal fees.
Coupled with adoption, the number of families with gay parents is growing. According to the American Academy of Paediatrics, between one million and nine million children under the age of 18 have same-sex parents today.
A psychologist, Jeffrey Parsons, insists that children born in these 21st-century families are as happy as kids whose parents are a woman and a man.
"The research shows very clearly that what children need the most to strive and survive is a safe, and secure, and loving home," he said.
"It really doesn't matter whether there are two moms in that home, two dads in that home, a single dad, a single mom, whatever, as long as a child knows that he/she is loved and is cared for."