Doggy diet

By admin
14 May 2014

I was in Wal-Mart buying a large bag of Purina for my Labrador Retriever

and was in line to check out.

A woman behind me asked if I had a dog.

On impulse, I told her that no, I was starting The Purina Diet again,

although I probably shouldn't because I'd ended up in the hospital last

time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care

ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms. I

told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it

works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one

or two every time you feel hungry & that the food is nutritionally complete

so I was going to try it again.

I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now

enthralled with my story, particularly a tall guy behind her.

Horrified, she asked if I'd been poisoned and was that why I was in the

hospital. I said no... I'd been sitting in the street licking my b@lls and

a car hit me.

I thought the tall guy was going to have to be carried out the door...

LIAN LAIRES, EMAIL

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