Don’t allow your boundaries to be crossed

By admin
02 December 2013

You can forgive but not at the expense of your own self-esteem, advises Zelda le Grange, who is blogging for YOU during the 16 Days of Activism for No Violence Against Women and Children campaign.

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It’s not power that corrupts. It is the fear of losing power that corrupts. And the same applies to relationships, I believe.

Once someone with a low self-esteem feels that they could lose power over someone it can end up in some form of abuse.

Why should we feel or become responsible for other peoples’ low self-esteem? Why do we always feel the need to nurture them and massage their egos?

We have to fend for ourselves and ensure our own survival. In 2013, while it is good to support your husband or wife it is not healthy to have to do so at the expense of your own self-esteem.

We are often too forgiving but I strongly believe relationships have lines or boundaries. Once a boundary is crossed you cannot go back and pretend that it never happened. You can forgive, but you can never forget.

“That day” he first verbally abused me, told me I am fat or that I was not to speak to a male colleague again or “that day” he first hit me, can never be reversed.

From then on, the human is being challenged to not cross the next line and once there is abuse, it implies a loss of respect.

He will never respect your dignity or your body again after crossing that line the first time.

So while we may forgive, let us never forget that challenging is part of human nature and once we allow it, the boundary is gone.

Zelda picSMALLZelda la Grange

Zelda la Grange, private secretary to ex-president Nelson Mandela, is blogging for YOU during the 16 Days of Activism for No Violence Against Women and Children campaign. Sheworks with the Nelson Mandela Foundation and does motivational talks. She is also active with projects such as Bikers for Mandela Day and Sisters with Blisters in her role as patron for the 1st for Women Insurance Trust.

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