Don't get ex envy! Here's how to cope when you've been dumped

By admin
04 November 2014

Breaking up is never fun, whether it’s a crash and burn situation or a passive aggressive drawn out affair. No matter what, it’ll take some time to get over.

Breaking up is never fun, whether it’s a crash and burn situation or a passive aggressive drawn out affair.

No matter what, it’ll take some time to get over. And then just when you think your ex is firmly in the past you’ll get wind they’re with someone else. It’ll send you into a spin, made even worse when you see them out looking like loves young dream. You will see them out too, no matter how big the city you live in is. So what to do?

First up you need to accept there will be several stages of feelings. First up? Fury. A better person would feel happy for their ex and realise that letting them go set them on the path to true love, but in reality you’ll feel mad. There’s nothing wrong with that, with writer E J Rosetta suggesting you give into it in a piece on Huffington Post. There’s something to say for that, but within limits. Try letting your aggression out on inanimate objects rather than people, so punch cushions and not your friends. Having a good old swear at home is fine, letting rip with the profanity in the office not so much. If kicking’s your thing go to a kick-boxing class – basically do anything that will allow you to let rip unchecked.

Once that’s out the way it’s time to focus on the good things in your life. By that we mean the fact that you don’t have to please anyone. Maybe you spent months pretending you loved art-house cinema to impress your ex? Well no more, now you can rent the latest Jennifer Aniston rom com with abandon. Or maybe you had to pretend you loved haute cuisine when actually you hanker after a hamburger, or stopped watching your favourite TV show. Whatever you ended up neglecting, now is the time to get back in the saddle.

You’re bound to have more time on your hands now you're single, which could mean hours spent obsessing over your ex’s new romance. So instead take the opportunity to do something you’ve always dreamt of. Maybe that’s taking an evening class, joining a gym or getting a second job so you can travel the world. Whatever it is, now is the time to focus and make it happen.

Don’t forget you had a life before your relationship either. Start catching up with friends or going out for work drinks. Soon you’ll be having so much fun you’ll forget what you were upset about in the first place.

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