'I'm living a completely different life inside': Man reveals what living with depression is like in powerful video

By Samantha Luiz
20 April 2016

"Over the past ten years, I've been living two different lives."

"Over the past 10 years I've been living two different lives."

This is how Doug Leddin's Facebook video begins, a moving post about his 10-year battle with depression.

The 27-year-old man from Ireland shared the video to encourage a conversation about the disorder.

Read more: You’re suffering from depression – should you tell your boss?

"There is something I have wanted to get off my chest for a long time, 10 years in fact," reads the caption accompanying the video.

"This will come as a surprise to some of my closest friends who I just couldn't talk to for fear of [losing] them or not being accepted.

"But after a lot of thought and consideration I decided to make a video to lift this burden off my shoulders and to share my experiences with you."

Read more: Symptoms of depression

He also writes about how depression is something we all need to talk about because for "too long people have suffered in silence and it's not right and as hard as it is to talk about it, it genuinely does help".

"I'm not saying that by opening up to your friends, family, colleagues or even teammates that it will make everything okay, but it will certainly help."

In the video – which has since gone viral with more than one million views on Facebook – Doug reveals the life he's been leading has been a facade, hiding his ongoing struggles with his mental health.

"If you asked my family or friends what they thought about me," says Doug, "they'd probably tell you that I'm a happy-go-lucky, positive, hard-working and confident guy.

"But all that's a bit of a lie. You see, I'm living a completely different life inside. I'm living the life of someone who suffers immensely with depression. And this is so hard for me to talk about, but it's not just me."

Read more: Doggie depression is real – is your pup suffering from it?

In the post's caption, Doug also apologises to his best friends "for not having the courage to do this sooner".

"I'm now 27 and in a much better place in my life. I have spent years in and out of doctors, Johns of God [faith healers] and various other places getting help since the age of 16. It was a dark place and I suffered alone and I shouldn't have. The past year has been much better and I'm thankfully in a place now that I feel comfortable sharing this and although I wish it didn't take me this long to open up it did and I can't change that but hopefully I can encourage a few others to do the same."

Watch the powerful video below:

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