Killer dad: grieving mom speaks

By admin
20 August 2010

Her son will never again jump on her lap, put his hands on her cheeks and say, “Mommy, I love you.” She’ll never hear his footsteps in the passage, his bike skid around corners or his voice calling her to join him looking for spiders in the grass.

She sits on the couch in their lounge, staring blankly ahead. Nothing can bring Lee back.

It’s Debra Bouwer’s 41st birthday today but there’s not much celebrating for this mom from George in the southern Cape. The three-year-old blue-eyed boy she lived for has been murdered – apparently by his dad.

“I tried to keep the peace to my own detriment,” Debra says tearfully as she relives the events of 31 July for the umpteenth time.

She took Lee to the botanical gardens for a visit with his dad, Mornay Edgar, but he sat on her lap crying and refused to go to his father.

But she felt sorry for Mornay and encouraged Lee. She lay a blanket on the ground and sat watching them as they walked away. She would keep an eye on them until the outing was over and then she would take Lee safely home.

A friend and her children arrived on their bicycles as arranged and she was momentarily distracted. The next thing she knew Mornay and Lee were nowhere in sight.

Two hours later a man and his dog found them - Lee had stab wounds to his back, chest and stomach. Mornay had stab wounds to his chest and was still holding the knife.

All that’s left now are regrets. Why against her better judgment had she been so accommodating towards her ex-husband?

“I was afraid of Mornay but I also felt sorry for him,” says the estate agent who works for Pam Golding in George.

A day before their outing to the gardens she had been granted a High Court interim court order stipulating he could see his son only during the day and under supervision.

Debra is speaking out  to warn women in relationships where things aren’t right to get out before they’re in so deep they’ve lost the courage and self-confidence to break free.

Debra realises she must come to terms with the fact Lee won’t come running into her arms again but wishes it were different. If only she’d made the right decision all those years ago.

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