Lips, limbs and tarot cards: The day I met Angelina

By admin
21 September 2016

YOU journalist Johannes de Villiers met Angelina Jolie. The experience was as surreal as you might expect.

"Different folks like different aspects of Angelina Jolie’s appearance. Some can stare at those seductive feline eyes for days.

Others gush about her lovely locks. Still others praise her lithe physique.

But allow me, as someone who has actually met and spoken to the woman, to tell you: If you meet her face to face, all you see is lips.

It’s the year 2000. A dreary winter in London. I am a young South African working in the British capital – behind the till in a bookshop. We are located in the West End and from time to time semi-famous Brits pop by. Jeremy Irons. One of Madonna’s ex-boyfriends. Those types.

One day there is a commotion among the booksellers. Everybody abandons their posts and rushes to the fiction section. What’s happening? I ask one of my colleagues.

“Angelina Jolie!” he shouts over his shoulder.

Whatever! Even though she has just won an Oscar (for Girl Interrupted), she still isn’t the superstar she would become. It was before the days of Brad Pitt, her work for the UN and the string of children.

And besides, someone had to work while my colleagues were playing celeb spotters.

So there I was working responsibly when, all of a sudden, the commotion starts to move in my direction. O hell, I was the only working shop assistant and the whole lot were heading straight for me.

And who was walking in front? The most peculiar little person. No taller than my shoulders. Her arms and legs as scrawny as that Gollum creature in Lord of the Rings. Her lips enormous.

It sounds like the elements of a movie monster. But believe me, somehow it added up to a breathtaking end product. In real life Angelina is even more beautiful than on screen.

“You got any Native American tarot cards?” she said in a heavy American accent. It took me a second to realise she was talking to me.

I was so smitten, I started to drawl like a cowboy. “Yeeah, ma'am,” I said. “We’ve got a whole selection.”

Tarot cards, in case you don’t know, are little cards that you can use to predict the future. We had Wiccan cards, elf cards, medieval cards and, yes, Native American cards. I spread them out on the counter.

If you ask me whether she bought anything, I can’t remember. I was too busy looking at her lips.

Now I read Angelina and Brad Pitt have split up. Something about another woman. The whole situation apparently caught Angie off guard.

Oh well. If she did buy fortune cards from me, they don’t seem to have worked very well.

Sorry Angelina. You can phone me for a refund."

Johannes has never been quite the same. Johannes has never been quite the same.

Read more:

Brangelina split: ‘How Jen feels’

Court documents: Angelina’s demands revealed

From cheating with a co-star to drugs: all the rumoured reasons Angie filed for divorce

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