Meet SupersexyB

By admin
24 November 2013

Our relationship blogger vamps up her online dating profile and turns into Miss Popularity in a blink of an eye.

Image: WikiHow

Meet SupersexyB – that’s the new me – and believe me, she’s super popular.

The other day a friend sent me an article. In it I read that Helen Fielding, author of the Bridget Jones’ Diary series, had created two profiles on looking-for-love websites for research purposes (for her new book).

One had an ordinary name, she wore a sports shirt for her photograph and she was looking for love. The other one had a sexy photograph, her name was “SuperLuckyBitch” and she stated that men would be lucky to be seen with her.

Interesting, I thought, and immediately looked at my profile, which wasn’t exactly flooded with profile visitors. My profile name was – very original – “Erla”.

In it I started I was “in search of a soulmate”. At that stage I was lucky if four men looked at my profile. Most of the men who contacted me wanted one thing – and it wasn’t love. One would think a profile asking for love would attract love seekers, but no. It was time to try Helen Fielding’s technique.

'Be arrogant. Be mean. Men apparently like that.'

First I searched for a few sexy pictures. Direct gaze, pouting lips and bulging breasts – I had a few here and there. Then I took a deep breath and posted them, together with the name SupersexyB. I just couldn’t bring myself to use the B word. So there she was – a sex bomb with an arrogant name. I shuddered slightly and went on to describe myself. Don’t be nice,I told myself. Be arrogant. Be mean. Men apparently like that. Helen Fielding says so.

My description of myself looked like this: I’m fussy and not desperate. I’m not going to make it easy for you. You’re the hunter, not me. I might fall hopelessly in love with you – or not. It’s all in your hands.

It looked terribly self-important and I was embarrassed. But I shrugged and continued writing – this time describing the sort of man I wanted: Successful. Clever. Sexy. Romantic. Passionate. Make sure you can tick all the boxes before applying. This is a fulltime job, not a hobby.

I had to admit I thought I would probably attract hate mail with this arrogant appeal, but . . . Bridget Jones is never wrong.

I smiled at the new sexyb on the webpage, pressed the button and sent it. Just seconds after posting it the visitors began to stream in. In the two weeks since creating SSB my profile visits have increased from an average of five a week to 300 a week.

Then the emails began . . .

I expected the worst. But suddenly I was getting requests to meet from men who were successful, conservative (that didn’t make sense to me) and who were looking for love, not just to jump into bed. How interesting.

“Why is it like that?” I asked a male friend who had also been searching.

“I was apparently full of myself and unsuitable; and getting replies from nice men.”

“Well,” he answered. “I don’t see it as conceited. Remember, men are egocentric creatures. Most men will think you have self-confidence. And your request, what you were asking for, is simple enough for men’s limited brains to understand. There are only a few things for them to remember. You make it easy; men like that.”

And believe it or not, that’s the response I received. Most letters began naming the requirements they met – and they seemed keen to satisfy me. Who would have guessed. Next week I’ll start meeting them . . .

-Erla

Erla-Mari Diedericks is the author of the book Sin, Sushi & Survival and her latest novel, Still Standing, is now available in shops countrywide as well as at kalahari.com. She also offers online writing courses. Click here for more information.

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