My child doesn't have to share with yours – and this is why

By Nombulelo Manyana
26 April 2017

Sharing is caring, right? Well, this mom doesn't quite agree – and she wasn't shy about expressing her opinion.

Sharing is caring, right?

Well, this mom doesn't quite agree – and she wasn't shy about expressing her opinion.

Alanya Kolberg from Springfield, Missouri recently wrote a post on Facebook where she explained why she believes her "child is not required to share with yours".

This was inspired by an incident in which her son, Carson, had taken toys to the park to share with a friend he was meeting later that day. But he was approached by at least six boys demanding that he share his toys with them.

"He was visibly overwhelmed and clutched them to his chest as the boys reached for them. He looked at me," she wrote.

When Carson looked to his mother for answers, Alanya told him very simply: "You can tell them no, Carson. Just say no. You don't have to say anything else."

Carson said ‘no’ and the boys ran over to Alanya attempting to tattle on him. She said it was okay for him not to share, despite other parents giving her dirty looks.

Alanya went on to explain that she as an adult was also not required to share her 'sandwich' with strangers if she had one.

"If I, an adult, walked into the park eating a sandwich, am I required to share my sandwich with strangers in the park? No!"

"Would any well-mannered adult, a stranger, reach out to help themselves to my sandwich, and get huffy if I pulled it away? No again."

She said this was a lesson about setting boundaries and practicing self-care.

"The goal is to teach our children how to function as adults. While I do know some adults who clearly never learned how to share as children, I know far more who don't know how to say no to people, or how to set boundaries, or how to practice self-care. Myself included."

A number of other parents seemed to agree that Alanya had done the right thing and even supported her parenting with words of encouragement in the comments.

"There is nothing wrong with teaching them to share AND that they have the choice not to share," stated one commenter.

But not everyone had the same view and though Alanya’s philosophy was 'selfish'.

One Facebook user commented, "Comparing sharing a sandwich to sharing a toy doesn’t seem like a good comparison. Also, children are different from adults. Children are more social, less inhibited and more likely to interact with other kids they do not know."

"As far as teaching boundaries for ‘self care’, I highly doubt that any child that shared their toys will grow up to have psychological issues because of it. I don’t know; this post just seems really dramatic and ridiculous.”

What do you think? Leave your comment on our Facebook page here.

Sources: Daily Mail, Viral Thread, Fox8

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