'Our dad is becoming a woman': Loving family's response to transgender dad

By YOU
02 May 2017

"Although I have now lost my husband, I have gained an amazing best friend."

To his loving wife, James Cohen seemed like a real man’s man. Though he repeatedly told her he was unsure of whom he was, Eirian never imagined her husband would admit that he wanted to be a woman.

Four months ago, however, before sitting down to watch TV together, 35-year-old James broke the news to his wife of eight years: he was a woman inside and had felt that way since childhood.

Eirian (left) and Kara (formerly James) Cohen, with their two children Ellie (left) and Serena near their home in Sherburn in Elmet, Leeds in West Yorkshire. PHOTO: Ian Hinchliffe/Caters News Eirian (left) and Kara (formerly James) Cohen, with their two children Ellie (left) and Serena near their home in Sherburn in Elmet, Leeds in West Yorkshire. PHOTO: Ian Hinchliffe/Caters News

"I was very accepting and I felt that it didn't have to change anything,” says Eirian (35), who shares daughters Seren (7) and Electra (6) with James.

“I wanted us to work everything out together. I was so proud that she was able to finally be who she wanted to be and not hide away from the world.”

The couple. from Leeds, England, wed in 2009 after eloping to Jamaica and according to Eirian, there was never even the slightest of hint that her husband wanted to be a woman.

Read more: IN PICTURES: Transgender man shares his incredible transition

"When we got married, he seemed to be quite obsessed with my wedding dress and he wanted to try it on as a laugh,” remembers Eirian, who has fully accepted her husband’s transition.

"It was a very jokey thing to see if it fit him. It was him taking the mick! Other than that, there were no other signs."

James, now Kara, has been taking prescribed hormones for the past six weeks.

PHOTO: Ian Hinchliffe/Caters News PHOTO: Ian Hinchliffe/Caters News

Eirian and Kara have decided to continue living together but Eirian admits the changes the hormones have brought about in Kara, has resulted in her losing attraction towards her husband.

"Initially I wanted to stay together romantically, but when my husband started taking hormones before she even changed appearance wise, my attraction towards her changed,” Eirian admits.

Read more: Transgender man’s shock at discovering he was pregnant – TEN years after transition

"I was really shocked with myself, but when I told her, she looked relieved and said that we could both do with some space to figure out who she is.

"Although I have now lost my husband, I have gained an amazing best friend; I am still very much in love with her but as a best friend.

And it seems the best friends have no intentions of entering the divorce courts.

"We are not separating in any way, we still sleep in the same bed. It can, of course, be a bit weird at times, but we get on so well,” Eirian explains.

"We are looking to move house where we will probably get two different rooms for the new house but we are keeping the family together and are still going to live with each other.”

As for their girls, they’re equally as accepting of their changing dad as their mom is of her husband.

"Our kids think it is just amazing, they love her so much more as a girl.

"They have told the world about it and even their school has been so supportive."

Eirian now wants to inspire other families and has written a book, entitled ‘Stop Giving a F**k’, which will be out later this year.

"I feel very lucky to have such a supportive family and an intelligent open minded wife,” says Kara, who has been having a ball of a time rocking her pencil skirts, leggings and feminine jeans.

"I'm finally able to be my authentic self and the future looks so much brighter since coming out."

Eirian adds she is not fazed by any critics who might ridicule her decision to stick with her hubby.

"For anyone that may criticise me, I would say to them that she is my best friend and we have an amazing connection.

"There's absolutely no need to split the family up, it doesn't matter what society thinks, as long as we are happy."

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