'Phubbing' could be ruining your relationship

By Kim Abrahams
14 June 2017

Phubbing is a thing, people, and we need to talk about it.

It might not be considered as hurtful as continuous lying or cheating but phubbing is a thing, people, and it could be damaging your relationship.

We’ve probably all experienced being snubbed by a friend or partner who seemed more interested in their cell phone’s screen than your company.

It’s hurtful and poor social etiquette, and now researchers at Baylor University in Texas, have found that 70% of people feel their partner’s cell phone interferes with their relationship.

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“The presence and use of cell phones are ever-increasing, causing the boundaries that separate our work and other interests from our romantic relationships to become more and more blurred,” says Dr James Roberts, one of the researchers at the University.

“As a result, the occurrence of phubbing is nearly inevitable.”

Dr Roberts warns that phubbing affects the quality of the relationship and can be considered a ‘relationship killer’.

In fact, phubbing affects three main factors that make for a successful relationship, Julie Hart, from The Hart Centre, a relationship counselling organisation in Australia, tells WHIMN.

Photo: pexels.com Photo: pexels.com

"There are three important connection factors that will give us a sense of satisfaction in our relationships. The first one is accessibility, that you're both open and listening to one another.

"The second is responsiveness, as in you both empathise and try to understand how the other feels, as in 'get’ each other, and the third is engagement, so you're both making the time to be fully attentive to each other.

"Phubbing interferes with all three of these important factors so it's no surprise to me that people are feeling less satisfied with their relationships because they're just not having quality time.

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"And they're not feeling their partner 'gets' them or is there for them because there's always this constant distraction away."

She advises couples to set firm boundaries for phone-free zones, such as in the bedroom, around the dinner table and when you’re in the car together.

“Put your phone away somewhere where you can't hear it, for a full hour every night while you and your partner spend some quality time together.

"Most people would be amazed at what a dedicated hour a day of phone-free time can do for their relationship over time."

Sources: metro.co.uk, mirror.co.uk, whimn.com.au

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