Stuck in the friend zone?

By admin
10 January 2014

Read on if you’re crushing on your bestie and don’t know what to do about it.

DEFINITION: The friend zone: when you like someone but the other person has slotted you into the category of BFF or best buds.

There you are walking on the beach, splashing each other with water without a care in the world. It feels like a date, but it’s a typical Saturday with your BFF. Are you in the friend zone and dying to reveal your true feelings to your crush? Here’s what to do.

How to approach them

Take it slow. Hint, hint and hint some more. You don’t want to dive straight in, just in case your bestie doesn't feel the same way.

Weigh up the options. Do you really see things working out for the foreseeable future? If not, is it really worth it?

Trust your intuition. If it feels right and you feel you really need to be open and honest about the way you feel, then go ahead. Things might not be the same afterwards, but you’d never forgive yourself if you didn’t try.

How to react if they don’t feel the same (so you don’t lose the friendship)

To each their own. Remember, your friend is entitled to his/her own feelings. If they don’t feel the same way, you just have to accept it.

Time out. Sometimes it helps to take some time out to absorb it all. Remember, if it’s your bestie you can probably work through it.

Take it in your stride. It might hurt a lot, especially at first, but remember what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger!

Don't get personal. Remember, this is your friend. So before you rant or get overly emotional, consider what you say because your words could last a lifetime. Harmful words could ruin any chance of continuing the friendship.

How to react if you’re the one who’s not into a buddy

Don't make it awkward. It’s your friend, so you probably know him/her well. Deal with things the way they’d prefer. If that means avoiding the topic and trying to go back to square one, then do that. If it means a good old chat to smooth things out, then go ahead. But make sure your friend isn’t left with any unanswered questions. We know, it might be totally awkward, but if your friendship is worth it you’ll have to try to get through this transition in the easiest and least painful way.

Don’t feel pressured. Just because they feel that way and you two have an amazing friendship doesn’t mean more needs to develop. Trust your own feelings and go with that.

Have patience. Your friend is going through a range of emotions right now. Give them the space they need to recover, but let them know you’re there for them if they need it.

Brush up on the sensitivity. Be sensitive to their emotions; as time passes it will probably get easier, but until then it would be best to keep hush about other crushes.

Faiza Mallick

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