The scars of spousal abuse

By admin
29 November 2013

Zelda la Grange, who is blogging for YOU during the 16 Days of Activism for No Violence Against Women and Children campaign, shares the story of a woman who finally managed to leave an abusive relationship but her life was destroyed.

Zelda la Grange, who is blogging for YOU during the 16 Days of Activism for No Violence Against Women and Children campaign, shares the story of a woman who finally managed to leave an abusive relationship but her life was destroyed.

Foto: European Parliament via Compfight cc Foto: European Parliament via Compfight cc

Neo Ramagloti is a born Motswana. She moved to Rustenburg with her then husband where he was making a living on the mines.

She recognised the signs of abuse early in their relationship but she thought it would get better with time – like all abused women initially do.

He was a jealous lover and one day in a heated fight he threw paraffin over her body followed by a lit match. Neo sustained third-degree burn wounds across her entire body.

She laid charges and left him. She is severely scarred and returned to Botswana where she hoped to receive support from her community and family. She could no longer work because of her injuries. Her case is a classic example of the system failing to support women from abusive relationships.

After some time he returned, like most abusers do, apologising and confessing his undying love for her.

She is a woman. She is the mother of his children. How could she not be emotionally affected by his confession? She took him back and two years later, in a very unsurprising move, he left her for another woman.

Neo is struggling to support her children without a proper job. She is slowly rebuilding her life, starting with her self-esteem.

Looking at her, you want to cry.  No amount of surgery can ever repair what he has done to her. I wish I had known Neo before she was scarred and told her to get out of the relationship. Would I have succeeded?  We can only try.

I wish people could see Neo and how beautiful she was before the burns. She deserves a better life after hers was destroyed by one man.

Zelda picSMALLZelda la Grange

Zelda la Grange, private secretary to ex-president Nelson Mandela, is blogging for YOU during the 16 Days of Activism for No Violence Against Women and Children campaign. Sheworks with the Nelson Mandela Foundation and does motivational talks. She is also active with projects such as Bikers for Mandela Day and Sisters with Blisters in her role as patron for the 1st for Women Insurance Trust.

Find Love!

Men
Women