What is the best dating you've ever been given? Desperate dater reaches out to the internet – and gets some surprising responses

By Pam Magwaza
15 May 2017

Practical dating advice that we could all put to good use.

Oh, the minefield that is dating!

While many people have survived the horribly awkward dating phase and moved on to long, fruitful relationships, many are still struggling with just getting someone to say yes to a cup of coffee.

Reddit has become a safe space for folks to pose random questions anonymously and get some pretty life-changing answers. One such user was 'us3rnam349' who wanted to know: "What is the best dating advice you have ever received?"

And some of the responses were fascinating!

Here's some of the best advice from the thread

"Most of the time "mixed signals" means "no." Or, I don't know what I want and I am a mixed up person, in a mixed up part of my life, or a flake. All of the above indicate that it's often best to move on."

-zazzlekdazzle

"If she's always on her phone when you see her but takes hours to reply to your texts, she's not interested, bro"

-JobamaBiden

"Have a type but use it as guideline and not a rule"

-sunset-shimmer-

"You can't control your partner.Your partner will do things you don't want them to, you just have to decide what's a deal breaker."

-bornbrews

"You don't owe anyone a date/relationship. Yes, s/he may be a nice person, but if you're not attracted to them, you're not attracted to them. Nice isn't enough.

A breakup is not a negotiation, and you can break up with someone for any reason at any time. Don't fall for the sunk cost fallacy.

Exercise a lot of caution around someone who has an extensive list of people who have wronged them. It won't be long until you're added to it."

-Throne-Eins

"If you're ever thinking about dating someone, look at their parents and ask yourself if you really want them dipping their toes in your gene pool."From my mother.

-youDingDong

"It's a numbers game, and the best way to succeed is to learn to give and take rejection well.

A lot of dating is just ice cream and spaghetti situations, they are both delicious, but not necessarily together. Maybe ice cream needs hot fudge and spaghetti needs meatballs.

In other words, don't stick around if you get the feeling things aren't right for you, you don't need a big reason to leave -- lots of people are great, just not as a partner for you. Be direct and polite letting someone go, but that is really all you are responsible for. They may beg you for a "reason," but most of the time, like I said, there really isn't one. Ice cream and spaghetti.

By the same logic, learn to see people deciding not to keep seeing you as not necessarily personal."

-zazzlekdazzle

"Love is teamwork. It's not you vs me, it's us vs the problem."

-Languid_Solidarity

"Treat the first date like making a new friend, try and ignore anything sexual and you'll have a much more relaxed atmosphere. I break this rule with a goodnight kiss so they know I am interested."

-Emily_Starke

Baiscally, we wish we all knew this when we first got into the dating scene, right?

Find Love!

Men
Women