What to do if your friend is a bully

By admin
16 July 2014

Your friend may be amazing in all other aspects – they may be fun to be with, full of energy or great at keeping secrets – but if their bullying is getting you down, it’s time to make some changes.

We’ve all had that one friend, the one who just likes to bring you down. This friend is well known for his/her snarky comments, and won’t let anyone get away with even a bad hair day. Perhaps it’s not just you they like to pick on, maybe it’s the lonely girl who sits alone at break time or the guy who likes to hang out in the library playing chess after school.

Sometimes it’s difficult because this friend may be amazing in all other aspects – they may be fun to be with, full of energy or great at keeping secrets. But if the bullying is getting you down it’s time to make some changes.

Here’s what to do if your friend is a bully.

Firstly, real friends never put down other friends and make them feel horrible. This person isn’t your real friend.

The problem doesn’t lie within you, your clothes, the way you speak or the things you do for fun. The issue lies deep within the psyche of the bully. They’re the one with the big problem, and by taking it out on you they think they’re alleviating things within themselves. Real, genuine friends won’t make you feel small.

Secondly, you need to speak to someone. Talk to someone you trust, be it a teacher, aunt or parent. Don’t struggle through the bullying alone. It’s much easier to share your struggles with someone else. Once you’ve shared your story, you’ll feel a huge weight lift off your shoulders.

Thirdly, remove this “friend” from your life. Stop calling them a “friend” in your head. Start to distance yourself from them. If your bully friend asks you about the sudden change in the relationship, explain to them you’ve had enough of being treated so badly, and that you don’t think the “friendship” is doing either one of you any good. Say you’ve realised what a bully the person is, and you’ve decided you’ll have none of it.

Finally, make some new friends. Put yourself in different situations where you can meet new people. Try a new sport at school, go and see a movie with the person you sit next to in English class; just get a change of scenery.

Remember – all hope isn’t lost with your bully friend. Some time apart may make them realise just how negative their actions are. Give this person a chance to change. If they don’t, then it’s time to move on and find someone who respects you for who you are.

-Megan Bursey

SOURCE: rachelsimmons.com

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