You can do ANYTHING you want!

By admin
15 January 2014

Be your own magic genie and make all your wishes come true . . .

You’re at a party, dying to chat to the guy you’ve had a crush on since, like, the beginning of time, but then you hear that little voice in your head: “Don’t do it, you’ll sound like a fool and there’ll be no recovering from the complete shame.” Next thing you know, your crush is making his exit and you’re still standing by the snacks. BAM – the opportunity’s passed and once again you’re left with nothing but a napkin full of pizza crusts. So what is it that’s stopping you from doing what you want?

The solution – the big C!

According to Marci G Fox and Leslie Sokol, authors of Think Confident, Be Confident for Teens (R178, Kalahari.com), your problem is self-doubt – and it can hold you back in every aspect of your life if you let it.

“Doubt makes you your own worst enemy,” Marci says. “It makes you feel insecure when there’s no reason to.”

But there is a way to conquer it and have everything you could dream of – it’s all about harnessing the magic of confidence. “Confidence is an essential ingredient to success,” Leslie says. “It allows a person to take risks and go for their goals.” So, how can we get ourselves a bit of the C-stuff? “Confidence means you believe in yourself,” Marci explains. This can-do attitude comes from swapping your negative or “give-up” thoughts for positive “go-to” ones. So ditch thoughts like, “I’ll fail the test,” “I’m not cool enough,” or “he wouldn’t go out with me,” and think the opposite!   HERE’S HOW TO TRY IT FOR YOURSELF

YOU WANT TO …

Make new friends

GIVE-UP THOUGHT “What if they don’t like me and I get embarrassed?”

GO-TO THOUGHT “I’m totes fun – why wouldn’t they like me?!”

PLAN OF ATTACK The trick is to not wait for people to come up to you, but to approach them. “Initiate conversations and let people get to know you,” Leslie advises. Don’t force the BFF status too soon, but once you’ve got to know someone in a group, see if they want to hang out more one-on-one. “Ask what they have planned for the weekend and if you can join in.”

YOU WANT TO…

Ace that English oral

GIVE-UP THOUGHT “I’m bad at speeches, everyone’s judging me.”

GO-TO THOUGHT “I have a kick-ass presentation and will nail this.”

PLAN OF ATTACK If you remind yourself that you know your shiz, you’ll be fine. “Think of all the practice and skill that makes you prepared for this moment,” Marci says. If it’s a class presentation, chances are your classmates will be too busy freaking out about their own speeches to notice that you accidentally skipped a keyword note, so don’t worry too much.

YOU WANT TO…

Fit in at the party

GIVE-UP THOUGHT “These people are so much cooler than me.”

GO-TO THOUGHT “No one’s above me, I’m just as cool as anyone else.”

PLAN OF ATTACK “Think of all the traits you like in others that you have in yourself,” Marci says. If you believe you’re awesome, everyone else will too. If you’re unsure about what to talk about, people will automatically warm to you if you ask them lots of questions about themselves, but have one or two good stories up your sleeve too.

YOU WANT TO…

Do well in an exam

GIVE-UP THOUGHT “I’m not clever enough, I’m probably going to fail.”

GO-TO THOUGHT “I’m beyond prepared and will totally nail it.”

PLAN OF ATTACK The truth is, if you think you’re going to flunk it, you probably will. Your thoughts have a funny way of playing out like a self-fulfilling prophecy, so if you visualise yourself scoring a good mark, you’ll most likely find yourself studying more in the lead-up to the test and your subconscious mind will work towards making your thoughts a reality. Weird, but true!

YOU WANT TO…

Actually talk to THAT guy/girl

GIVE-UP THOUGHT: “They’ll think I’m a loser… I have no idea what to say.”

GO-TO THOUGHT: “I’m cute and interesting, and will just give it a go!”

PLAN OF ATTACK: Working up the courage to say hi to the person you like, let alone asking them out can be scary but Leslie says “You won’t know unless you try.” If you don’t make a move, you’ll never know if they’re interested, so you really have nothing to lose.

While chatting to your crush, listen out for clues about their personality. For example, if you say, “It’s been so rainy lately,” and they say, “Yup it sucks ‘cos it means the cricket fields are closed,” then you can ask them where they play, for how long etc. Listen out for more clues to keep the convo going. They’ll think you’re SO easy to talk to. So next time you’re loitering by the snack table, rub your magic lamp of confidence and go talk to your crush!

USE BODY LANGUAGE TO GET AHEAD…

Research shows that up to 93 per cent of communication is non-verbal, so the way you move and hold yourself has a huge impact on how people perceive you. Use this to your advantage by adopting these cool and confident body language tricks.

- Make eye contact: A steady gaze makes you seem self-assured and interested in the person you’re talking to.

- Smile and laugh. If you act like you’re having fun, chances are you actually will… and no one will ever guess you were nervous.

- Flash your palms and wrists. It’s a sign of someone who’s friendly and open.

- Don’t fidget. Someone who constantly touches their hair, face or clothing comes across as nervous, uptight or lying.

- Have an open body. Crossed arms or legs give the impression you’re guarded or insecure.

Celebs share their confidence-boosters

“I think it’s important to check in with yourself and make sure you are being exactly who you want to be.” – Singer Haley Williams

“I was viewed as a little bit of an outcast. I didn’t have only one group of friends who I hung out with every single day. I love hanging out with different people and just having fun.” – Actor Taylor Lautner

“Don’t be afraid even though people may say what you’re doing isn’t cool or isn’t right. I promise you, you will not regret it if you stay true to who you are and what you love to do.” – Actress Emma Stone

“I was self-conscious of what I would call my ‘tree trunk legs’ because they are very muscular… But now I’ve learned to love them.” – Actress Vanessa Hudgens

“You can't make somebody like you. But if you like him, you should talk to him and just be yourself. If he likes you; great. If not, there is someone out there who will like you just as much as you like them!” – Actress Emma Roberts

SOURCES: HEYUGLY.ORG, ACP SYNDICATION

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