God moves Swazi king’s remote control

2011-10-25 22:27

Mbabane - Africa’s last absolute monarch King Mswati III has been hailed “God’s chosen one” after he apparently witnessed a miracle.

Some of the evangelical Christians and top government officials who listened to King Mswati preach at a prayer meeting at Lozitha Palace near Mbabane, Swaziland, on Saturday, believe that God miraculously communicated with him.

“The king preached to us. He was filled with the light of the Lord when he told us that God had given him a sign when he was getting ready to meet us.  He said a TV remote on his table dropped to the floor with no one touching it and that is how he knew God was communicating with him,” said one of the preachers, Reverend Jonas Dlamini.

The Times of Swaziland, the kingdom’s only independent newspaper, confirmed that Mswati told his audience about the “miraculous” experience.

“His Majesty saw a miracle yesterday when he was preparing his sermon. The King said a remote control lay at the centre of a coffee table but something mysteriously brought it down.  

“He said there was no person or wind that could have brought it down.  The King said he realised that God was with him.  It was Him who brought the remote control down,” reported the paper.

Mswati and his Dlamini clan believe that they were chosen to rule Swaziland.
His older brother, Prince Masitsela Dlamini, told African Eye News Service that God had given the royal family authority to rule over other Swazi clans.

“The Dlaminis are closer to God,” said Dlamini.

Divine right of kings

According to political observer Charles Ndwandwe, Mswati, who normally preaches at prayer meetings, believes he is one of God’s chosen ones.

“King Mswati claims the right to his absolute power on the basis of both Swazi culture and the biblical divine rights of kings. His brothers are on record as saying democracy and other forms of government are illegitimate because the bible sanctions kings but not presidents or elected officials.

“So it is important that the king be able to say he was given a direct sign from God, in this case the seemingly inexplicable dropping of a TV remote from a palace coffee table,” said Ndwandwe.

Meanwhile, Swaziland princess Sikhanyiso Dlamini has come out strongly in support of her father’s reign.

At last month’s dance, where thousands of bare-breasted maidens present themselves before her father, Dlamini commanded the arena to sing a hip-hop song warning Mswati of enemies who wish to make Swaziland a democratic state.

She later went into a religious rant, saying: “I have survived the toughest childhood, facing all the insults and criticism against His Majesty the King, my family, and me personally. I proclaim victory in the name of Jesus! I proclaim victory in the blood of the lamb!” – African Eye News Service

  • Mike - 2011-10-25 23:22

    Utter retards!

  • Seja - 2011-10-25 23:39

    When will the Swazi people pull a Gaddafi on these clowns??

      Bar23 - 2011-11-17 00:37

      when will the Swazi royals stop smoking that Swazi?

  • - 2011-10-26 00:32

    he is nearing his downfall like the remote control

  • Michael McN - 2011-10-26 02:22

    God dropped a remote?!?!?! When the remote drops mysteriously in my house it means it's time to put the beer down and go to bed. But I never knew God was actually talking to me. I think the real miracle here is that through this asinine announcement, Mswati has proven conclusively the divine right of kings is absolute hokum.

      Maddie - 2012-01-03 12:59

      I really like u. Cant stop laughing.

  • Michael McN - 2011-10-26 02:25

    "The Dlaminis are closer to God,” said Dlamini. Only in the dictionary and only in comparison to words like "nutcase," "dingbat" and "charlatan."

      zaatheist - 2011-10-26 05:17

      These tyrants and despots are so corrupted by their power they start believing this nonsense. He is but a poor relation of Kim Jong-il who claims he is a god.

  • Adre - 2011-10-26 05:46

    If the remote had hit him in the head without anyone touching it, it would have been a true miracle, but waste this space when an adult shares his childlike experiences, well, shall I laugh or cry? Gravity on the other hand is real!

  • Karoo - 2011-10-26 06:39

    OH my word!! And these ignorant people believe him............( As jy stupid is moet jy maar suffer)

  • r.mashigo - 2011-10-26 07:20

    utter crap. don't go telling people you have divine rights just because you fear losing authority over your people. this is nonsense.

  • Anton - 2011-10-26 07:48

    What am I reading, The Onion?

  • Harald - 2011-10-26 07:54

    Now its time for the people to speak their mind, godaffi style... when Bob and these guys think that they have the ear of God, and are appointed by him etc; you know they have lost the plot!! and are looking for any means to stay in power... reminds me of what Zuma said before the last election: "Speaking in isiZulu, Zuma said if a South African voted for the ANC, one chose heaven, but a vote for the opposition meant hell." mmmm, close itn't it?

  • JMan - 2011-10-26 07:57

    HAHAHAHHAAAAHHAHHAAAAAAA...HHAAA...*cough*cough* hHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAAAA!!!!! a remote control.....fell off the table......HAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!! Priceless.

  • Harry Meyerowitz - 2011-10-26 07:59


  • Bathabile - 2011-10-26 08:17

    If the king thinks he's the chosen one, he must read Galatians 5:19-21(NIV. Perhaps that might make him think that either the devil or his own imagination dropped the remote

  • Erich - 2011-10-26 09:25

    His Majesty should refrain from drinking till after the sermon.

  • zulumabvuto - 2011-10-26 09:40

    total hogwash...

  • Dave - 2011-10-26 09:53

    bwhahahahaahahahahah!!!! it must have been the tokoloshi which bumped the remote off

  • Horst - 2011-10-26 10:37

    (.).(.).(.) that's me shaking my head in disbelief.

  • Kevin.snake - 2011-10-26 10:49

    maybe God did speak to him but he misinterpreted the message maybe ...just maybe God is telling him to step down and let God take over ...well that is just my point of view ...

  • Ralph - 2011-10-26 11:55

    I believe it was his ancestors. They have had enough of him and his luxurious life style while the people starve. So they threw the TV remote on the floor as a sign that they have had enough. There is no doubt that it is a sign for him to get rid of his TV and give the money to the poor. The TV symbolises his wealth. Next they will start on his cars - you had better watch it Mr King the turd -- oops-- I mean the third.

  • Denzil - 2011-10-26 23:27

  • Wilson Dkeppe Emmanuel - 2011-10-27 09:11

    If this hallucination was from a god of some sort, then let me interpret it. I guess the king is not a recipient of a miracle vision and the interpreter at the same time. Like he believes in biblical Devine kings, let him also believe in the fact that they needed interpreters to their dreams and hallucinations alike. The fallen remote signifies the fall of a controlling figure like him. He has fallen from grace (table top) to grass ( the floor).... Got him!

  • Tru - 2011-10-27 11:59

    Funnily enough, Christ was also mocked when He was speaking but His kingdom was not of this world and so He did not have to defend it; the fact that the grave could not contain Him but spewed Him out was evidence that He was and is the Son of the Most High God. King Mswati III is feared for the power that God has given Him and the love that he shares with his people despite the efforts of the tyrannical international governing bodies and these refugees who we did a favour by accepting in Swaziland and are now turning against us so that we can lose our precious heritage.

  • Lisa - 2011-11-01 12:57

    this is so ridiculous though! dont know whether to burst out laughing or actually feel sad that theres someone out there thats actually buys this....

  • Maddie - 2012-01-03 12:57

    If you ask me i think its the DEVIL that made it fall. #really!!!howblondecan1get#

  • Etienne - 2012-01-30 21:02

    Proof that the truth is even funnier than satire.

  • christopher.m.lowe - 2012-07-19 18:51


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